After hearing Dean Li’s words, Su Lu was silent for a long time.
So long that Dean Li couldn’t help but ask, "Su Lu, are you okay?"
Su Lu took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I’ve never asked because... I can’t remember. I can’t remember what happened before I came to the orphanage, and I don’t remember why I can’t remember."
It was a bit of a mouthful to say, but that was indeed the case.
Su Lu couldn’t remember why she couldn’t remember, but her memory before arriving at Sunshine Orphanage was a blank slate.
The only memory she had was that Xiao Yi was her younger brother. Moreover, perhaps even this memory was only retained thanks to the occasional reminders from the deans and nursery staff at the orphanage.
"But, there should be records for admission, right?" Su Lu asked. "Dean, you should know how I ended up here."
"Ah," Dean Li sighed softly, "Yes, I know. However, I’ve always felt that it might be better not to know, and this was also the advice given by the psychologist at the time. So, if you hadn’t asked, I indeed had no plans to bring it up voluntarily."
"Now... can you tell me?" Su Lu asked.
Dean Li was silent for a few seconds before finally speaking softly and smoothly, "After the police rescued you, they brought you to our orphanage."
"Rescued? From... where?" Su Lu, for so many years, was finally trying to touch the truth of her origins.
Before this, she had wondered why she ended up in the orphanage; she always thought that she and Xiao Yi were simply abandoned.
Although it didn’t make sense however she thought about it—both she and Xiao Yi were healthy, with keen ears and sharp eyes.
Moreover, it could be understood if she, being a girl, was abandoned, but Xiao Yi was a boy. Even with a preference for boys over girls, it shouldn’t extend to abandoning a boy too.
But Su Lu didn’t want to delve deeper, so she never thought deeply about it, casually finding an excuse that could pass in her own heart was enough. Delving deeply into such matters always ended up being particularly hurtful.
Surviving in the Su Family was already difficult; there was no need to make herself unhappy.
Especially during tough times in the Su Family, she would comfort herself that if she were still with her birth family, her life might be even more difficult, considering her biological parents had even abandoned her. Her life might not necessarily have been better.
With such self-consolation, although her days did not become any easier, it seemed her heart did not feel so tormented anymore.
At this moment, she was somewhat nervous, delving into her origins for the first time...
Dean Li said, "You were rescued by the police from a trafficking ring of an extremely vile nature, with extensive connections."
Su Lu muttered stunned, "A... trafficking ring?"
She had always thought...
"I always thought I was abandoned, so although I don’t remember, I also didn’t want to revisit the details, which is why I never asked."
"No, you were not," Dean Li sighed. "When you were rescued by the police, they said you had been held there for some time according to what you were like when you first came to the orphanage, suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and even amnesia."
"The psychologist concluded that you must have been there for a while, and you likely experienced or witnessed significant abuse..." Dean Li paused for a moment before continuing, "The police said that at the location where you were held, the children there were all meant to be sent off to beg. If the police had arrived just one or two days later, you might have been processed and sent off to the begging groups."
Su Lu’s voice was a bit hoarse, "Begging groups... processed?"
"You might have heard, although it’s not so common now, but in earlier years, children were often maimed and sent to beg on the streets..." Dean Li said.
Su Lu shivered, "Then... what happened?"
Dean Li’s voice always carried a hint of a sigh, "Looking at the state you were in at the time, we speculate... you might have witnessed more than once them processing other children, which is why you developed post-traumatic stress disorder."
By ’processing’ in Dean Li’s words, it probably meant how the gang maimed the children.
And herself... to have witnessed this process more than once?
Su Lu couldn’t remember anything, although hearing Dean Li’s words, her mind, subconscious, and common sense, were all telling her that those must have been horrifying images, a terrible past.
But strangely, it seemed like she couldn’t empathize.
Even thinking about such scenes, her heart was calm, as if... some kind of protective mechanism blurred it all.
Blurring those sharp, edgy, and piercing images.
Su Lu was somewhat enlightened; she had thought this protective mechanism was awakened only after being hurt by Bo Jingshen, a type of self-protective ability.
But hearing what Dean Li said, this self-protection might have existed a long time ago.
"Dean Li, since I was trafficked, then... hasn’t anyone come looking for me?" Su Lu asked softly.
"At the time, no one did, and because no one did, Mr. and Mrs. Su later took you and Xiao Yi away. Looking at it back then, Mr. and Mrs. Su were a good choice with their favorable circumstances; their financial condition could afford both you and Xiao Yi."
Dean Li, shifting the conversation, said, "That era wasn’t like now, with developed information and comprehensive surveillance. Perhaps... your family didn’t want to not look for you, but just didn’t know where to start. Don’t be too resentful in your heart."
Su Lu pursed her lips, "I’m not resentful, I’m just curious."
After thinking it over, Su Lu asked again, "I’m not talking about initially. I mean later on, even... recently. Hasn’t anyone come looking for me? Not even once?"
Dean Li was silent on the other end.
Despite her silence, Su Lu could discern the answer from this silence.
The answer was affirmative, yes.
Someone had come to the orphanage to inquire about her.
Otherwise, given Dean Li’s personality, she would have immediately comforted her, just like she comforted her initially about how information and surveillance were not well-developed, so her family couldn’t find her.
Instead of remaining silent as now, saying nothing.
Someone must have come to inquire, and perhaps even asked Dean Li to keep it confidential.
Su Lu didn’t wait for Dean Li to say anything; hearing her silence, Su Lu softly said, "I understand."