He knew he would find out eventually; Song Lili was very clear about this in her heart, she just hadn’t expected... it to happen so quickly and suddenly.
"What’s wrong? Is this question... hard to answer?"
Wen Nian didn’t seem in a hurry. He was still holding Song Lili’s hand, meticulously examining it, feeling it.
Having entered the military academy just over a month ago, these hands had already grown much rougher, with some new scratches on the palms and backs after seventy-two hours of selection.
It made him momentarily unable to discern whether these were still Song Lili’s hands, the same hands he was once so familiar with. Now transformed, yet they couldn’t serve as reliable evidence for judgment.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Song Lili pulled her hand away and stood up, "I’ll go pour you a glass of water."
Wen Nian watched her suddenly stand up and walk away, and stood up as well, following her into the kitchen.
The kitchen door was gently closed, Song Lili got a new cup, stood in front of the kitchen counter, her body slightly stiff.
"Song Lili adores military culture, that’s true, and her childhood dream of becoming a soldier is no lie, for her father is a military man. Though seldom seen throughout the year, she idolizes her father. Born and raised in the Ruicheng Military District, where people revere the military, proud to be associated with it, a place where every household has its soldiers, be they officers or enlisted..."
"Her father’s uniform, often taken out and worn by her as if she were a little grownup playing at acting."
"Stand at attention, salute, march forward, crawl... When she was home alone, she taught herself this, as if it brought her closer to her father..."
"I called her foolish, and she hit me."
"I said... Lili, if you want to be a soldier, go be one later."
"I told her this when she was little, but after I enlisted myself at sixteen, I regretted saying such things to her."
Song Lili’s body stiffened once more.
"I want to tell her that the military isn’t just about glory and splendor... The military ranking recommendation system makes class stratification within the army extremely severe, higher ranking soldiers oppress the lower ranks, first-class officers press on second-class... Those with officers, officials, or illustrious family backgrounds, even if they understand nothing, can still be promoted rank by rank. Those truly talented and with ideals can’t climb up, while the sycophants abound."
"In the barracks, how many children from impoverished families come dreaming and leave desperate for survival..."
"I also want to tell her that daily training is not fun, that shedding sweat and blood may not earn you superiors’ recognition but rather suspicion and ostracism."
"When I enlisted, I used my real name, but my grandfather, the President, erased all my identity information, and I was just an orphan from the Ruicheng Military District."
Song Lili was stunned for a long time. Wen Nian... had never spoken of these things to her, never...
"It wasn’t until four years later that my grandfather personally came to the military district to fetch me."
"Of course, there’s much in the army that can delight and inspire, like comrades who stick with you through life and death, the affinity among soldiers of the same rank, the excitement and satisfaction of winning a battle. But these don’t negate the frustrations of a thwarted ambition or the disillusionment with the country’s military."
"I know what kind of person Lili is, a flower on a dung heap; where most people see the dung, she sees only the flower."
"For someone like that, once they’re in the armed forces, it’s one thing if her sincerity isn’t reciprocated, but if she’s bullied or taken advantage of because of her naivety, if her friends turn into enemies, how is she supposed to cope?"
"You think everyone is too fragile."