When one of two people who are familiar with each other starts to have feelings, they become cautious, fearing to touch the boundary of this relationship, which might force them apart. Cen Jin was worried about this, as Jiang Baizhou was unpredictable, and she couldn’t grasp his thoughts, leaving her uncertain. Although he was indeed kind to her, it seemed he only saw her as a friend.
I remember that winter in the last year of high school. After school, they had planned to go home together, but she waited for him at the school gate and didn’t see him. So she had to go to the club to find him. She saw him standing by the trees near the club. Just as she was about to call him, she noticed there was a girl standing in front of him. She recognized the girl—the school broadcaster, particularly beautiful, the school belle of the liberal arts class.
She stood about four or five meters away from them and could hear their conversation clearly—not that she intended to eavesdrop, but at that moment, for some reason, seeing the winter sun slanting on them, she couldn’t move her legs.
The girl blushed, her hands hidden behind her, looking hesitant to speak, while Jiang Baizhou stood there with his back to Cen Jin, making his expression unclear to her, but her heart suddenly reached her throat.
"Um..." After a while, the girl finally mustered a lot of courage to speak, lifting her head to meet Jiang Baizhou’s gaze: "Jiang Baizhou, I like you, can I pursue you?"
Upon hearing the girl’s words, Cen Jin’s heart skipped a beat, she began to feel nervous, staring intently at his captivating and aloof back.
"No." After what seemed like an eternity, Cen Jin, standing not far away, finally heard Jiang Baizhou’s decisive and cold voice. Before she could rejoice, he added: "I already like someone."
On hearing this, Cen Jin’s expression became dazed, stumbling a step, feeling as if something important was draining away inside her, causing pain with each throb.
The girl who confessed seemed deeply disappointed, exuding an air of pitifulness, reluctantly asking: "Then can you tell me who you like?"
"No." His answer remained succinct and resolute. When it came to things or people he didn’t like, he had never been the one to drag it out.
When Cen Jin heard the girl ask that question, her reflex was to turn around and flee, not waiting for him to go home together, as if avoiding, or perhaps lacking the courage to hear.
Not long after that incident, during a chemistry class, groups were drawn, and it happened that Jiang Baizhou and Lu Shishu were drawn into the same group. Cen Jin stood in the group diagonally behind them, watching their backs, and as she observed them working together on the experiment, she noticed Jiang Baizhou’s slight smile, something extremely rare for him, who never smiled. At that moment, it was as if Cen Jin understood something.
That feeling was deeply buried in her heart, never brought to speak again.
But, between the childhood friends, it seemed as if there was a barrier. He didn’t know, she didn’t say.
Until they entered university, Cen Jin and Lu Shishu were admitted to the same school, while Jiang Baizhou was at another, not too far away but separated by a two-to-three hour journey on the high-speed train. In their first year, Lu Shishu started dating someone, and upon learning this, the first person Cen Jin thought of was Jiang Baizhou, with an innate worry.
Although she didn’t know when Jiang Baizhou began having feelings for Lu Shishu, she deeply understood the pain of unrequited love. Thus, she couldn’t help but wonder how upset Jiang Baizhou would be when he found out!