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Chapter 177
~Valerie’s POV~
I blinked. "He didn’t."
"Doesn’t matter," Dristan snarled.
"Yes, it does."
Dristan’s eyes snapped to mine. "Not to me."
For a second, I couldn’t breathe. There it was. Not a confession, but something close enough to burn—pure pain.
"He hurt you," he added. "And if Riven hadn’t gotten there first... Gods... who knew what that mongrel would have..."
"I could’ve handled him," I voiced. "You saw that."
"You shouldn’t have had to."
That shut me up. I couldn’t retort because, no matter how much I wanted to justify things and not look deeply into his pain, or why he was getting angry after ignoring me the other day with no explanation whatsoever, I couldn’t deny that I saw his pain, as plain as day.
Dristan’s breathing was heavy now, controlled like he was holding something hard back. His fingers twitched again at his sides, the last traces of lightning still pulsing under his skin like a heartbeat.
I stepped closer, unsure of myself and what I was going to do as I tried not to remain grounded in the moment, even though what my wolf and the bond wanted was for me to be there, for him, with him.
"Thank you," I started with that.
Dristan shook his head. "Don’t thank me for doing what your mates should’ve done five seconds earlier."
"I meant... for being there, for everything. For fighting for me and pulling me out."
His lips parted slightly, and something flickered in his gaze—almost like guilt. Or pain.
"It is my duty as your mate and..." There it was again, that hesitation. Then out of the blue, he whispered, "I hate the way he looks at you. Like he’s entitled to something that isn’t his."
I swallowed, my own voice softening. "And what if I don’t know who I belong to yet?"
Dristan’s jaw worked, and even though he didn’t say anything, his silence said everything.
So I changed the subject, gently.
"Riven surprised me," I admitted. "He looked ready to kill."
Dristan exhaled sharply and leaned back against the ivy-covered wall. "His past makes him... less forgiving."
"His past? What exactly happ—"
"Ask him yourself," Dristan cut in, eyes narrowing slightly. "He’ll talk to you. Maybe."
The way he said it—maybe—wasn’t out of doubt. It was out of jealousy.
"He doesn’t speak about it, but he might do so for you, given as he was willing to let the school see that side of him in broad daylight."
I felt the burn of his stare even when I looked away.
And I realised something.
For all the power Dristan carried—for all his status, legacy, and sharp command—he was still a boy who feared being second to a ghost, to a monster, or worse... to someone like Kieran.
I stepped forward again, reached out, and let my hand touch his, just for a second.
He didn’t pull away and neither did I.
"This isn’t just about Riven or Kieran, is it?" He looked away but I did something rather shocking for him.
I held Dristan’s chin and turned his head back in my direction, daring him to look me in the eyes.
"Hey, you can tell me you know."
The hesitation flickered in his eyes, but his lips said a different thing. "I love you, Valerie. I told you I loved you, but you pushed it aside and you never took my side. But Kai tells you he does and you are over him. I..."
I lowered my gaze, letting him pour out his feelings and his frustration.
"Do my feelings mean nothing to you?" I snapped my head up, the words failing me. "I guess I do not," he assumed again and that broke my heart.
I may have been terrible at showing feelings as I grew up knowing only pain and training for my revenge.
I had never had a boyfriend and did not understand relationships. A part of me did not want a mate now because I did not want a distraction, but the Moon Goddess had other plans.
And now I stood here with six of them, each looking at me with adoration and love, as if I held the answer to their dear life when I held nothing but confusion.
"Your silence says it all. If it was Kai..."
That was it. Astra whined in my head, but the only thought I had was to correct that thought. I cared about them all, even if I didn’t show it.
I leaned in, stepping on my toes as I pressed my lips to his, initiating the kiss this time.
His lips tasted of storm and restraint, like thunder waiting to be released but forced to behave for me.
The kiss was wild and raw, scorching in a way that had nothing to do with lust and everything to do with the ache between us.
Dristan kissed like someone who’d waited too long. Who had too many words and no safe place to say them. So instead, he poured them into me, through each slow movement of his mouth over mine.
And I let him.
I matched him.
And maybe, for that moment, it didn’t matter that I had ruled off boys only the day before or that my heart wasn’t fully sure of anything.
All that mattered was us.
When we finally pulled apart, our foreheads brushed. I felt his breath ghost against my lips as if he was trying to find something to say but the words refused to come.
His voice cracked first. "I’m confused."
My lashes fluttered. "You’re not alone. I’m confused too."
He pulled back a little more, just enough for our eyes to lock again. Something in his gaze flickered, like doubt giving way to desperation.
"But that doesn’t mean I’ve rejected you, Dristan," I added. "I just... I didn’t know what your feelings really were. You’ve always been... hard to read. Controlled."
Dristan raked a hand through his hair and stepped away, dragging in a deep breath like he’d been holding it since the kiss started.
"You have no idea, do you?" he muttered, almost to himself. "I... I love you, Valerie. I’ve said it before, but I guess words don’t carry much weight now."