“A bet?” The one who appeared to be the largest and in charge frowned and glared at me. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m just talking about drinking? Is your constitution too weak to drink?” I suddenly asked.
“Drink? Hahaha… look at this guy!”
“He’s so small, he’d tip over with a drink.”
I used to be pretty fat. Naturally, that affects how much alcohol it took. One of the things I used to pride myself on was that it took a lot to get me drunk! Since then, I have three jobs worth of constitution. How could I not defeat these guys?
“What do you propose?” The man asked.
“A true man is a man who keeps his drink, right?” I offered, channeling the words of a certain pervert I met earlier that day.
“Hmph… of course!” The guy straightened up.
“So… to the truest men go the women.” I declared. “We drink, and the last man standing gets the women. All of them. You say how could I need four women. I say… how can you only handle four?”
Naturally, those words seemed to excite the man. He suddenly threw back his head and roared with laughter. The other men found the scene funny as well. The girls were looking at me a little angrily, particularly the two barmaids I casually threw into the deal, but I had to word things this way in order to get to these men.
“Alright, the winner goes the women.” He nodded.
“And the loser pays for all the beer and the inn damages!” I added quickly.
He snorted and then gave a decisive nod. “Very well! I wasn’t planning on paying at all, but I like the idea of making you pay better! Innkeeper, bring us beer!”
Two glasses were quickly brought out and filled. My girls watched worriedly, but I gestured for them to remain in a corner and to stay out of the way. The barmaids seemed to join them, leaving the innkeeper to bring out the beer on his own. Apparently, every man at the table decided to drink. If the one who remained conscious got all of the women, then naturally any of these men wanted to be the last one standing.
“Begin!” The man called out.
I drank down the beer in a single swallow. I never drank much at college, since I was only there part-time, but I had visited at least a kegger or two and knew the basics.
“Second!” He called out.
We drank round after round. Men started to fall out. As men collapsed, new men joined in. Everyone had been drinking for hours before I came, so the leader declared it “fair” that I had to drink out every man on his side. I didn’t complain a single bit, as if I had a choice in the matter.
Time dwindled on, and the leader became so intoxicated than all he could do was shout ‘next’, having long forgotten how many rounds there were. We were finally the last two sitting. Every other mercenary had been knocked out. I tilted in my chair, burping dizzily. He put on a grin.
“Hannneenuf?” He barked.
“Naww… onesmore…” I said, putting up two fingers.
We both took the next glass and drank, slamming them down in unison. A moment later, the chair scrapped and the massive man fell out of the chair and collapsed, unconscious. I peeked over at him with a raised eyebrow. Then, I let out a sigh.
“Well, it looks like I won.” I crossed my arms and laughed.
The innkeeper and barmaids looked at me like I was a monster.