No matter how good a person’s Acting might be, there is someone in this world he can never deceive—himself.
Getting used to pretending to be happy, that performed optimism becomes like an outer garment, as if only by wearing it can one become normal enough to leave the house and mingle with the crowd.
The young man was surprised by the words Han Fei had uttered; they felt as if they were about him.
As a moderately famous comedian, he always appeared so joyful in front of the public, but nobody knew that he made all the audience laugh, yet he alone couldn’t make himself burst into laughter.
"You saw the contents of my phone earlier, didn’t you?"
Han Fei knew what the young man was referring to and nodded.
Seeing Han Fei admit it, the young man, instead, sighed with relief, as if after a long performance, at the exhaustion of body and mind, the director finally announced that there was no need to act any further, "A comedian who brings happiness yet has thought countless times about leaving during the dead of night, it’s quite ironic indeed."
The young man looked at the medicine bottle on the desk that he hadn’t yet had the chance to put away; he no longer wanted to hide anything in front of Han Fei, it was a very strange feeling, as if the stranger who had suddenly visited had experienced the same as him, as if they were the same person.
Neither of the two men in the room spoke again until mournful music sounded from outside the house, and the cold wind blew in through the half-open window.
The young man shivered from the cold, but he did not close the window; instead, he looked out at the night sky, as if a boy who had left was greeting him from there.
"I have a question, and I’m not sure if I should ask it?" Han Fei looked at the comedian beside him, who was similar in build.
"You have successfully obtained everything you dreamed of, fulfilled all your desires, so why can’t you still laugh?" Han Fei was really curious. The comedian in room 4064 seemed like another version of himself, one who hadn’t come into contact with "Perfect Life" and who had ultimately relied on hard work to achieve his dreams.
"When I was very young, I lost my smile. I think a smile is the most precious thing in this world, so I wanted to make more people smile. Seeing them smile, maybe I could find my own smile again. At first, I truly believed that." The young man slowly adjusted his emotions, "But it seems that wasn’t the case. I played extras for a very long time. I didn’t have a standout appearance or any background, and to stand out among many competitors, I had to try even harder. I tried many comedic methods, but people didn’t laugh; they seemed to see right through to my nature, that I am inherently a dull person."
"So how did you become popular?"
"Because of an accident, it was a performance mishap. The props team made a mistake, the scenery platform built seven meters off the ground was the wrong size, and I strictly followed the script, which resulted in me stepping back too far and falling from seven meters high. Tied to a safety rope, I was only slightly bruised, but the way I was seriously delivering lines and then suddenly disappeared, was indeed quite dramatic. Tied to the safety rope, I swung in midair for a long time; that must have been the first time someone laughed involuntarily at my performance."
Looking at a movie poster on the wall, the young man’s smile appeared somewhat stiff.
"The audience meant no harm, and that much I understood clearly, so at the time I figured being a tearful joker wasn’t too bad. I consoled myself with that thought, but later on, I grew more anxious, pondering new jokes every night, and gradually I began to suffer from insomnia. It was as if someone had suddenly flipped a switch in my brain, and one deep night I suddenly felt as if the world had been enveloped in a gray veil," the young man had grown accustomed to maintaining a smile in front of others, his facial muscles remembered the shape of a smile, and he would still smile without feeling happy.
"Perhaps you should have been a Horror Film actor from the start."
Han Fei sincerely advised the other party, but the young man shook his head, equally stubborn in certain aspects as Han Fei, "I didn’t want to be an actor just to play in comedies; I strove to become a comedy actor because I like seeing smiles."
During their conversation, the young man’s phone vibrated again. The members of Happiness Residential Community didn’t chat within the group; it seemed like they were reluctant to turn the group chat into a place to vent bad moods and preferred to ask the young man privately.
The cold light from the phone’s screen illuminated the young man’s face as he patiently replied to the messages from each group member.
Han Fei stood by, watching the young man as if he was standing in front of a mirror, observing his own reflection.
Under the guidance of the previous Building Chief, Han Fei became the Building Chief of Building One in the Happiness Residential Community and inherited the Manager’s account.
Always at risk of losing his life, he was doing his utmost to redeem the residents of the Happiness Residential Community.
Deep World was perpetually shrouded in night, in the boundless darkness, Han Fei was like an inconspicuous glowworm.
"Sorry, there’s a lot of messages today," the young man apologized to Han Fei before he resumed replying incessantly.
Many might think he was engaging in meaningless activities, but he knew that it was precisely because some people persistently engaged in these seemingly meaningless activities that many who were close to leaving changed their minds.
It wasn’t about right or wrong, nor about being sentimental or not."
They simply understood a principle because they kept experiencing one thing.
Some people, in fact, you have already seen for the last time, you just haven’t realized it yet.
Twenty minutes had passed since the young man finished replying to the messages, and he was very sincere with each group member, showing no impatience. It seemed he used all the words he saved from real life in the conversations with group members.
"Most of the group chat members in the Happiness Residential Community are patients; they hide in the corners of this world, relying on each other’s residual warmth to get through the cold winters of their souls. What I can do is to help them protect this home."
"Is this the reason you use every time to convince yourself to keep living seriously?" Han Fei’s tone was not gentle; it was the first time he had spoken in such a manner to a "ghost" of the Deep World.
"A reason to keep living?" the young man shook his head: "I’m not afraid of death, and I don’t need a reason to live."
"Death is not frightening, but what is dreadful is being prepared to leave without having truly lived. Some things, once missed, are truly missed forever, and you won’t even have the chance to regret them." Han Fei looked at the man. It was as if he was persuading the comedy actor, yet also seemingly conversing with his past self.
He had never had such an opportunity before, an opportunity to face his own soul and to confront his innermost self.
About whether "Perfect Life" is really a healing game, Han Fei initially thought he had found the answer, but now he had changed his mind.