"It's me! Now, tell me what you want," Tsunade said playfully. "As for why I look so beautiful—well, that's my little secret!"
"Alright, you better be ready!" Naruto didn't care about her secret—he was here on a mission.
Without hesitation, he pulled a kunai from his backpack and stabbed it directly into his palm right in front of Tsunade.
Bright red blood began dripping from his hand, quickly staining the floor.
Naruto casually pulled the kunai out, stowed it away in his ninja pouch, and walked out of the room, not even glancing back. His movements were smooth, as if he'd practiced them dozens of times.
Tsunade stood frozen, her entire body trembling as she pointed at the blood-stained floor, her face pale.
"B-Blood!"
---
Outside the Room...
"It's done," Naruto said, stepping out.
Kaito, who had been calmly waiting nearby, smirked. "Yeah? How'd it go? We still on for another round at noon?"
Naruto nodded, clearly fired up. "Yup! Let's do it! Three times a day, right? Like a mealtime!"
Shizune watched him walk off and then turned to Kaito, clearly worried. "Kaito, is this really okay? Is it alright to treat Lady Tsunade like this?"
"What other way is there?" Kaito muttered. "Tsunade-sensei lost her brother and her lover on the battlefield. That kind of trauma doesn't heal on its own."
"Lover?" Shizune blinked. "How do you know she had a lover?"
"Huh?" Kaito turned to her, surprised. "Who doesn't know that?"
"You know everything?" Shizune narrowed her eyes. "That's strange. Not many people know that Lady Tsunade had someone like that. I only overheard it once, and she was drunk at the time!"
Kaito frowned. Did I mess up? That shouldn't be wrong...
"What about her hemophobia?" he asked.
"That's from when Lord Nawaki died in her arms. It was a huge trauma," Shizune explained quietly.
Kaito hesitated. "And Kato Dan?"
"You know my uncle?" Shizune asked. "Don't get the wrong idea. My uncle did pursue Lady Tsunade, but she rejected him. She said he was too weak."
Kaito's thoughts spiraled. Wait… what? This is all different from the original timeline. What's going on?!
Seeing his confusion, Shizune added, "Lady Tsunade did have someone. But he was mysterious, showed up only once during the Third Great Ninja War, and then vanished. She left Konoha partly to find him."
"Sister Shizune, could you check on Tsunade-sensei? I need some air," Kaito said, still disoriented by the info dump.
He walked off quickly. His thoughts were a mess.
Everything's off. None of this lined up with what I remember…
---
Later That Day...
Naruto, Kaito, Shizune, and Tsunade were gathered at the table, enjoying the food Shizune had prepared.
Naruto grinned as he patted his full stomach. "Man, that hit the spot!"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes, clenching her teeth. "This brat…"
"Grandma Tsunade, are you full?" Naruto asked innocently as he stood beside her.
"I am. Why do you ask, brat?" Tsunade said, already suspicious.
"Oh, no reason."
Naruto immediately pulled a kunai from his pouch and stabbed it into his palm again.
As the blood trickled down, he nodded in satisfaction. "Alright! Time to train! I'll be back tonight!"
With that, he left—completely carefree—while Shizune and Kaito exchanged stunned glances.
From that day forward, Naruto came over to eat every day and "paid" for his meals with a palm wound.
Tsunade would glare at him each time like she was ready to end his life, but Naruto, ever thick-skinned, acted like nothing was wrong. He even went so far as to ask her questions about training, which only made her temper flare more.
Meanwhile, Jiraiya had seemingly vanished.
---
Half a Month Later...
Boom!
A powerful tremor shook the entire house. It felt like an earthquake had struck.
"YOU BRAT! YOU WANT TO SEE BLOOD?! I'LL GIVE YOU BLOOD!"
Crash!
The sound of a fist meeting flesh echoed, followed by Naruto's terrified screams.
Outside the house, Kaito and Shizune were waiting.
A moment later, the commotion subsided.
Kaito glanced at her. "Think she's calmed down?"
"Maybe," Shizune said uncertainly. "I hope…"
Before they could say more, the door slammed open.
Tsunade stepped out, dragging a bruised and bloated Naruto by one arm. His face was so swollen it was hard to tell it was him.
If Kaito hadn't known Naruto so well, he wouldn't have recognized him.
"Ka—Kaito! Save me!" Naruto wailed. "Grandma Tsunade's gone nuts!"
Kaito chuckled awkwardly. "Well, congratulations, Tsunade-sensei. Looks like your hemophobia is cured."
"Hmph," Tsunade scoffed, clearly still annoyed.
"Where is that idiot Jiraiya?"
"Right here!" Jiraiya shouted as he walked in.
"Well, since your fear is gone, I assume we're heading back to Konoha?" he asked with a grin.
"You bastard!"
In an instant, Tsunade vanished in a blur and reappeared in front of Jiraiya, her fist drawn back.
BOOM!
Jiraiya was launched skyward like a missile, disappearing into the clouds.
Gulp.
Kaito swallowed nervously at the sheer force of her punch.
---
Half an Hour Later...
Jiraiya limped back into the house, battered and bruised.
Naruto had finally regained consciousness as well.
The two locked eyes across the room—speechless, but understanding each other's pain perfectly.
Kaito and Shizune were already packing up.
Tsunade stood nearby, directing everything with an eerie smile that made Jiraiya's spine tingle.
Honestly, there wasn't much to pack—just some clothes. Everything else would be replaced once they got back to Konoha.
They were finally heading home.
Tsunade hadn't originally planned on returning, but Kaito's persistent emotional persuasion—and Naruto's unintentional "assistance"—had worn her down. He cried, begged, even threatened to hang himself.
Eventually, she gave in.
---
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