"Why am I running too, Jiraiya-sensei!?" Kazuki snapped, legs pumping as fast as they could go.
If someone from his previous life saw him now, they'd have thought Usain Bolt was out of a job.
"Hahaha! Obviously because you're my little bro!" Jiraiya laughed with glee as he twisted mid-sprint to dodge a basin hurled from behind like a guided missile.
Kazuki's eye twitched.
A moment ago, Jiraiya had muttered, "Oh? Bro, you're here too?" And then Kazuki's instincts fired like a starting pistol, launching him into a dead sprint. A heartbeat later, a wooden ladle smashed into where his head had been.
If he'd been even a second slower, that ladle might've cracked his skull open.
"Don't worry, these people—huff—can't chase us for long," Jiraiya said with the casual confidence of a seasoned escape artist. Kazuki just wanted to roll his eyes into the next dimension.
But for the sake of his honor—for his reputation—Kazuki pressed on. He couldn't afford to be known as that kind of pervert in Konoha. He even tore a strip of his clothes and wrapped it around his face, just in case someone recognized him.
If his uncle Suzaku found out? No doubt the man would "have a word" with him—and not even Jiraiya's endorsement would save him from that kind of pain.
Thankfully, Jiraiya was something of a grandmaster in the art of fleeing after peeking. Before long, their pursuers had dropped off, gasping and furious.
Kazuki bent over, hands on his knees, absolutely spent.
Dodging angry villagers, sidestepping projectiles, surveying the terrain for escape routes—it had taken everything he had.
"Hahaha, Kazuki, this kind of running sharpens your evasive instincts under pursuit!" Jiraiya roared with laughter as if he hadn't just been caught red-handed outside a women's bathhouse.
Kazuki stayed silent, too tired to waste breath on sarcasm.
A few minutes later, Jiraiya returned, cheerfully carrying two popsicles. He sat beside Kazuki on a rock by a small stream and snapped one in half, handing a piece to him.
"These things hit the spot," he grinned like a man who hadn't just nearly been stoned to death by buckets and sandals.
Kazuki took the frozen treat with a complicated look. For a brief moment, he remembered Naruto in the anime—eating one of these during a quiet scene.
"So, Jiraiya-nii... how's the new book going?" Kazuki asked, shifting the conversation far away from their earlier... outing. He could already tell Jiraiya was itching to share his latest "adventures."
"Oh, not bad!" Jiraiya's grin widened. "Took your advice, added some scenes from the female perspective—surprisingly spicy! Adds a whole new flavor!"
The look in his eyes was pure pervy-uncle-at-a-barbecue.
Kazuki wore the same grin. Two degenerates in a pod.
"You know," Kazuki continued, "what if you got a model—like, an actual kunoichi—to pose for reference? Then publish a limited edition run with exclusive art inserts—some bonus illustrations... It'd boost sales like crazy."
Jiraiya's eyes gleamed. He looked ready to run off and write a manuscript right then and there.
But just as Kazuki was about to expand on his marketing plan, Jiraiya's expression changed.
Without a word, the Toad Sage vanished, bouncing off into the treetops like a shadow in the wind.
Kazuki blinked, turned—and spotted a white-robed figure emerging from the woods.
"Lord Third," Kazuki said quickly, straightening up and bowing. Hiruzen smiled kindly, the tip of his pipe glowing gently.
But he didn't say anything—just looked. Looked at Kazuki with a gaze so thorough, it felt like he was being scanned.
It made Kazuki uncomfortable. His control over his Shadow Possession Technique faltered a bit, the shadows only twitching slightly instead of flowing smoothly.
"You and Jiraiya seem close," Hiruzen said, still smiling.
Kazuki nodded. No use denying it. He and Jiraiya were co-authors, after all—joint stakeholders in the Icha Icha empire to come.
"You've got some rare potential," Hiruzen said with a sigh, eyes distant for a moment.
He'd come looking for Jiraiya.
Since Jiraiya's return to Konoha, he hadn't once visited his old master—and that sat heavy on Hiruzen's heart. He'd trained many students in his life, but of all of them, he had put the most hope in the Legendary Sannin.
Now, one had defected. One never returned. And the last barely acknowledged him.
Had he failed them all as a teacher?
Kazuki watched as that weight lingered on the old man's shoulders.
"By the way, Lord Third... how did you find us out here?" Kazuki couldn't help but ask.
Hiruzen's face twitched. He cleared his throat.
"Ah—followed your trail," he replied with practiced calm.
Kazuki internally raised an eyebrow.
He had a very strong suspicion the old man had been using Transparent Escape Technique to spy through the hot spring trees, and caught sight of him and Jiraiya mid-flee.
Knowing Hiruzen's... subtle tastes, Kazuki wouldn't be surprised.
After all, this was the man who nearly died of blood loss watching Naruto's Sexy Jutsu.
"Right... I remember you have fire chakra affinity?" Hiruzen changed the subject, a little too smoothly.
Kazuki's eyes lit up.
Was this a seal-the-witness-with-a-ninjutsu-bribe moment?
"Yes sir! Fire affinity," Kazuki nodded quickly, eyes sparkling. "Are you going to teach me a jutsu, Lord Third?"
The Third Hokage smiled.
There were many ways to keep a secret.
But sometimes, the best way... was a little fire jutsu.