"We have more hostages than you," Zabuza called out at Tenten. "How many of your comrades' deaths will it take, before you let my senpai go? Whom shall I eviscerate first? The annoying blonde-haired kid? The raven-haired boy? The pink-haired girl? Or will it be the boy in green tights?"
The tension in the air was palpable— Sakura's and the others' lives literally depended on Tenten's choice. Would she choose to pursue the mission, no matter what? Or would she choose to abandon the mission, and save them instead? It seemed to be quite the conundrum for her, because Tenten was taking an awful lot of time to answer…
'Is she seriously sleeping?' asked Inner Sakura, squinting at Tenten in the distance. 'It looks like her eyes are closed.'
Sakura's eyes widened slightly. Could it be…?
"I would highly recommend you stop wasting my time," Zabuza growled. "I'll count to three— unless I hear a positive answer, the blonde-haired kid's head is coming off…
Sakura nervously stared at Tenten. Surely, she had to know that the Asura and Indra incarnates were necessary to prevent the upcoming end of the world? If Naruto and Sasuke died here, it was basically game over for humanity…
"Fine, you win!" Tenten shouted back at Zabuza, her eyes snapping open. "I'm releasing my hostage— here, you can have him!"
Tenten withdrew her kunai from Raiga's neck, before kicking him in the behind, sending him stumbling towards the edge of the cliff that overlooked the valley. Just as Raiga was about to fall over the edge, Tenten grabbed his cloak and yanked it off him— sending him spinning off into the void below. At the same time, the sleeping bag strapped to Raiga's back came flying off, and Tenten swiftly jumped up to grab it, before vanishing from sight…
…and reappearing in front of Naruto, who was currently pinned to the ground, his head stuck in the hole in Zabuza's sword.
Thanks to Sakura wasting Haku's time by chatting with him, Tenten had successfully managed to lock on to each of the Flying Raijin Jutsu Formulas she had secretly placed on her comrades, as well as the one she had left at the Curry of Life Shop. Due to her lacklustre sensing abilities, it had taken her a while to do so, but now that her preparations were finished, she could freely teleport between each of her marks with minimal delays between jumps!
Fast! At that moment, that word was the only thing going through Haku's and Zabuza's minds.
Tenten's sheer speed had taken them off guard— so much so, that it took them a bit under a second to react to the fact that she had disappeared with Naruto. After all, the Flying Thunder God Jutsu had basically disappeared from the shinobi world after the Fourth Hokage's death, so they really hadn't been expecting to witness the truest Art of Teleportation.
"Space-Time Ninjutsu!" hissed Zabuza in alarm. "She took him right out of the Kubikiribōchō!
Sakura immediately reacted to Tenten's sudden appearance and subsequent disappearance— taking advantage of Haku's concern for Zabuza, she twisted her upper body away from the needle pointed at her neck and reversed Haku's grip on her arm, grabbing his right hand with her left.
Tenten suddenly reappeared, grabbing Sasuke's unconscious body, before disappearing once more.
"I'm going to borrow your hand for a second," Sakura politely informed Haku.
Her right arm was completely unusable, so using hand signs was out of the question— unless she accepted some help. Forcing Haku to mimic her fingers' movements, Sakura began forming seals, but at the same time, Haku started forming one-handed seals with his free hand— she had forgotten he could do that!
"Hijutsu: Certain-Kill Ice Spears!"
"Genjutsu: Breast Illusion!"
Haku's secret Ice Style technique and Sakura's illusory technique fired off at the same time. Human-sized spikes of ice sprouted from the ground all around them, and within a second, Sakura and Haku were trapped together in a jail made of ice. Thankfully, Sakura's mind-altering illusion had kicked in just in time, causing Haku to purposefully miss her— for who in their right mind would willingly cause harm to such magical breasts?
With the pretty boy pressed up against her in the confines of their icy jail, Sakura couldn't help but bemoan the fact that Haku hadn't been born a girl— without travelling to the past, there was basically no way for her to obtain this Kekkei Genkai…
'Tutturuu,' sang Inner Sakura. 'We should slash him now, just in case we get the opportunity to send a message to his mum in the past telling her to eat more vegetables during her pregnancy. That way, we'll get Haku's breasts when the timeline changes!'
"If we could go to the past," Sakura grumbled, "wouldn't it be simpler to just grab his mum's breasts while we're there?"
Tenten appeared at Sakura's side, and she laid a hand on her shoulder— the world shifted around them, and suddenly, their surroundings had changed to the Curry of Life Shop's.
Which was fine, except that… Haku had come along for the ride.
And obviously, Sakura immediately noticed, he hadn't been the only one to hitch a ride with Tenten— in a corner of the dining area, Naruto was vengefully stuffing spoonfuls of bright red curry down Ranmaru's gullet. The poor boy could barely breathe— his face was turning a rather radioactive shade of scarlet.
"I'll be right back," Tenten added.
And a few seconds later, she reappeared with Rock Lee and a certain Kurosuki family thug under her arm…
"Could it be?" gasped the old lady Sanshō, as she came trotting into the restaurant's main area from the kitchen. "Karashi, is that you?"
"Please don't hurt me!" Karashi whimpered. "Wait… mum!?"
Tenten unceremoniously dumped Karashi on the ground, who remained there with a dumbfounded look on his face— he still couldn't understand what had happened to him! One moment, he'd been whipping his fellow villagers with gay abandon, and the next, he was getting his ass beaten with a slipper by his dear old mum.
"You foolish child!" cried old lady Sanshō, shedding tears of happiness. "Don't you ever worry me again, you hear?"
She then turned to her son's saviours, who were all in pitiful states.
"I don't know that I could ever repay you," she said in a trembling voice, wiping a tear from her eye. "So, I'll help you the only way I know— by making you my special Curry of Life!"
'Hopefully, it'll help us get better soon,' said Inner Sakura. 'I hate gooning with my non-dominant hand…'