"How can you even walk around with these on your chest?" Naruto complained, stumbling after Prince Michiru and Prince Hikaru as he jumped down from the carriage. "My back hurts— and I've been sitting this whole time, y'know!"
In the original timeline, Naruto's Sexy Transformation featured a generously large bust, but after spending so much time around Sakura, his standards for what counted as "sexy" had risen dramatically!
"Arch your back, but that's not important," whispered Sakura, giving him a nudge with her elbow. "Look sharp— that must be her!"
Upon hearing Naruto's loud voice, the beautiful woman tending to the cherry tomatoes in her garden looked up. She had long dark hair, and she was wearing a light green summer dress which revealed quite a bit of cleavage. Sakura could see why Prince Michiru was so taken with this gold-digger— she had the charm of a mature woman.
'Come to think of it, we should have asked Prince Michiru why they even broke up in the first place,' said Inner Sakura. 'Ah well, too late now…'
"Long time no see, Amayo," said Prince Michiru confidently. "I was in the neighbourhood, and I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing. By the way, this is my new girlfriend, er… er…"
"It's Naruko, you dummy~" chanted Naruto in a cutesy sing-song voice. "Don't tell me you forgot already, you big meanie, mou~"
Yes, Naruto thought to himself, this was the sort of thing men liked. He should know, he was one!
"Hikaru? Is that you, Hikaru?" gasped Amayo, dropping her basket of tomatoes and rushing over to embrace her son. "Oh, Hikaru… My, how you've grown… Hikaru, Hikaru…"
Prince Michiru's plan hadn't even started yet, but it had already failed. His ex-wife seemed more concerned with the son she hadn't seen since he was a baby, rather than her beloved ex-husband taking up a new girlfriend…
"Hem, hem!" coughed Prince Michiru.
Amayo's mind finally registered the presence of the fat man who had brought her son to her.
"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously, bringing a hand over her chest to prevent this stranger from staring down her cleavage. "I've never seen you before in my life."
"How could you be so cruel, Amayo?" whined Prince Michiru. "It's me, me!"
Was this the so-called 'ore, ore,' scam that was popular among swindlers in her homeland? They would call elderly folks on the telephone and say, "it's me, it's me!" and claim they were in trouble, so the confused old people would send money to the scammers impersonating their children or grandchildren.
"…it can't be… Michiru? But you're so fat," said Amayo, peering at him. "You couldn't be him!"
"I ate to fill the void you left when you went away," sniffled Prince Michiru. "It's your fault I became , you know!"
After that, having completely forgotten about his own plan, Prince Michiru followed his ex-wife Amayo into the house, leaving Team Kakashi and Hikaru outside on the doorstep.
"But… what about me!?" shouted Naruto, stamping his foot cutely. "You'd better pay up, you bastard!"
"I think it's safe for you to change back," said Sakura in a comforting tone. "It must be tiring holding a Transformation that's bigger than your normal size, right?"
The Transformation Jutsu was relatively cost effective, but the greater the difference between one's original size and the assumed form, the greater the chakra expenditure. Taking the shape of an adult would be tiring in the long run, and morphing into something the size of a pinhead would probably drain a regular shinobi's chakra so fast they'd die within seconds. Exceptions existed for other Jutsu, but that was generally how things worked with size changing.
Sakura, for one, couldn't get off to any porn that violated the law of conservation of mass. It was too unrealistic, and it was totally immersion breaking… Just kidding! As long as there were two breasts, she would be a happy camper.
"Establish a security perimeter," said Kakashi, startling Sakura out of her lewd daydreams. "Pick a cardinal direction and keep out of sight."
Sakura went to hide in Amayo's rosebush, which definitely wasn't an euphemism. From her hiding spot on the side of the house, she could clearly hear Prince Michiru and Amayo loudly arguing, so with nothing else better to do, she pricked up her ears and listened.
They were arguing over the custody of Hikaru— because of the difference in their statuses, Amayo had been forced to sign a disadvantageous prenuptial agreement, so when she had broken things off with her husband, because of his tendency to use money to solve all of his problems, she had been forced abandon her son overseas.
'So, she wasn't a gold-digger after all,' said Inner Sakura pensively. 'She's the opposite… but how on earth did these two ever get married in the first place, then?'
"Come home with us, Amayo," said Prince Michiru soothingly. "I'd give you everything you could ever want— why, I'd even give you the Land of Moon…"
Any other woman would have taken that last phrase as a hyperbole, but Amayo knew for a fact her ex-husband was deadly serious. She raised her hand to slap him, but…
"Whoa there!" exclaimed Sakura, flickering in between the two and catching Amayo's arm by the wrist. "Sorry, but I can't let you do that."
"Let me go!" hissed Amayo.
Sakura let go as she wished, and Amayo turned to Prince Michiru with a disappointed expression.
"You haven't changed a bit where it counts, Michiru," Amayo said coldly. "You still think money is all that matters— you have no idea what's truly precious..."
'Says the woman living in her parents' house doing nothing at home on a workday,' said Inner Sakura snidely. 'You two idiots belong together; you have no idea what it's like to bleed to earn money!'
And with that, Prince Michiru was promptly ejected from the premises, and he was forced to return to town with his tail between his legs…