Chapter 29 - 29: I’ll Beat Them Into a Different Anime
Zeldris stared at the barely-standing Obito, who looked like he'd just lost a fight with a blender.
Cloak shredded, mask cracked, chakra flickering like a dying candle.
Zeldris didn't look angry. Or worried.
If anything... amused.
Sasori landed beside him, taking one look at Obito's sorry state and muttering under his breath,
"Bro, did he trip into a tailed beast on the way here?"
Zeldris took a step forward, cape fluttering like he was in a shampoo commercial.
"All right, enough cosplay. What do you want?" he asked, tone light, but every word hit like a kunai to the pride.
Obito's shoulders twitched. He was trying to maintain his villain aura, but it was hard when you looked like you'd just been dragged across Konoha by your ankles.
"I underestimated you," Obito muttered, voice strained. "You win."
Zeldris raised a brow. "That was fast. I expected a dramatic monologue or a tragic backstory. You're really off your game today."
Sasori tried not to laugh. Failed.
Obito straightened, trying to pull his dignity together like loose change in his pockets.
"You're stronger than I expected. That makes things... easier," he said, switching from 'villain mode' to 'business mode' faster than a Jonin switching targets.
"As a mercenary, you've proven your worth."
Zeldris gave a little mock bow. "Thanks. I try to ruin reputations with style."
Then Obito stared at him—hard. Sharingan flaring like a warning light.
For a second, Zeldris thought the guy might actually attack again.
So he leaned in, deadpan. "Relax. I just remembered a meme."
The tension deflated. Even Obito looked momentarily confused.
Then Zeldris folded his arms. "Let's talk business."
He stepped forward, smirking.
"My track record's clean—I don't ghost on jobs. But if you want results that break canon, you'd better cough up the ryo."
"If I hit hard enough, they won't wake up in the Naruto universe," he added. "Might find themselves in Attack on Titan with a new trauma arc."
Obito didn't flinch.
"Ten million ryo."
Sasori raised a brow. "That's... generous."
Zeldris tapped his chin like he was pondering the fate of the world.
"Hmm. Tempting. But sounds like an intro price."
Obito narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong? You scared?"
Sasori blinked. "You? Scared? The guy just suplexed a S-rank shinobi into the sand."
Zeldris chuckled. "There's no such word as 'fear' in my dictionary."
He paused, shrugged.
"But I do need to hear the mission before I sign up to throw hands with reality again."
Obito's voice dropped. "The target is the One-Tail Jinchūriki."
Zeldris blinked. "Ohhh. You want that smoke."
Sasori, meanwhile, froze. "You mean... the sand demon with anger issues?"
Zeldris gave a slow nod. "So basically, you want to kick a hornet's nest, then hand me the stick."
Obito remained calm. "You're the right person for the job."
Zeldris raised a hand, fingers splayed.
"Then you'd better pay the right price."
He smiled, eyes gleaming.
"Fifty million. Flat rate. No coupons, no IOUs."
Obito stared.
Zeldris shrugged.
"Hey, if I'm gonna beat someone so hard they get animated by a different studio, I expect to be very well compensated."
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