"Love? What is love? Is Yinchu’s love for Gu Nanxi love? Or is your love for Lu Yinyue love?"
Han Qing sneered, "If Yinchu loved Gu Nanxi, wouldn’t he marry her and give her the rightful status she deserves? If you loved Lu Yinyue, would you have done what you did to her in the past?"
Han Shaojing’s color changed, "What did you say?"
"What did I say? You should know better than I do! Nine years ago, when Lu Yinyue got engaged to Mo Yan, you were angry and saddened... What did you do to Lu Yinyue then?"
"Shut up!" Han Shaojing bit his lip, his body slightly trembling with anger.
Han Qing sneered again, "Look, you can’t even face your past. You too feel the shame of your past lust for Lu Yinyue. If that’s the case, what right do you have to lecture me now! Cousin, admit it, you and I are the same. No one is more noble than the other. As for this love you speak of, honestly, there’s no difference between it and possession..."
"Enough!" Han Shaojing rubbed his temples as fragments of his past flickered through his mind, making his head spin.
"You were drunk once and told me everything!" Han Qing confessed her source of information.
Han Shaojing took a deep breath and faintly chuckled, "Alright! I admit, I almost did something disgraceful to her. But if I could go back in time, I would never do such a thing. It is only now that I understand that to love someone is not to possess them, but let them love who they love! Han Qing, I’m no saint, but unfortunately, I’m not ’disgraceful’ either!"
"Really?" Han Qing sneers, "Cousin, just because you don’t think you’re disgraceful doesn’t mean others feel the same way. Even Yinchu might not think so. If he found out..."
"No..." Han Shaojing purses his lips, a hint of sadness flashing in his dark eyes, "Yinchu wouldn’t think that way ... because he knew about this incident nine years ago!"
That year, Han Shaojing was thirteen, and Lu Yinyue was eight.
She asked him, "What do you like about me?"
He replied, "I like you because I just do. There doesn’t need to be a reason."
She thought for a moment and said, "Actually, I like you too, but I just see you as my brother because you’re so good to me! That’s the reason!"
He was unconvinced, "That might just be because you’re too young. I’ll wait until you grow up a little and then ask you again!"
She nodded, "Okay, I’ll explain it to you when you grow up a bit more!"
In the ensuing years, whenever he thought back to this episode, Han Shaojing couldn’t help but chuckle!
Then, gradually, over the passing years, that moment of amusement evolved into a recurring joke between them during their conversations!
But he alone knew that every word he said was no joke at all!
Han Shaojing had to admit that during high school and college, he was rather playful, occasionally flirting and proclaiming love with different girls.
But for him, it was just a game.
His body was clean, his soul as pure, and this purity was reserved for a girl named Lu Yinyue!
He was waiting for the moment she turned eighteen!
But he didn’t get to see it, because when she was seventeen, Lu Yinyue fell in love with someone else. That person was not him.
He tried to express his feelings and was rejected. At that time, seeing her brilliant smile, he was extremely unwilling to let her go.
He couldn’t bear to give her up!
Even though he had clearly promised to wish her happiness and try to find his own happiness.
He believed he was patient, and that he could wait!
It didn’t matter, she was just experiencing something called love ahead of him. He would give her time, and once she got hurt, she would come back to him.
But unexpectedly, on Yinyue’s eighteenth birthday, she got engaged to Mo Yan!
Engagement, he knew very well what that meant!
He had to admit, he lost control that time. He didn’t attend her birthday party, or rather, engagement ceremony, instead getting drunk in a bar and feeling like his life had lost all color!
It was then that he harbored an evil thought. He wanted to snatch her away, even if it meant using ignominious means. As long as he could have her, he didn’t care!
Several days later, he pretexted to take her out for a meal, drugged her drink and took her to a hotel.
At that moment, when he held her soft body in his arms, and saw her half-closed eyes and trembling eyelashes, his heart felt like it was being stabbed, it hurt so much!
He laid her on the bed, and sat by it smoking a whole half-pack of cigarettes. After finishing, he got up, took a bath and then walked over to the bed!
And that’s when Lu Yinchu arrived. Without saying a word, he punched him to the ground, hitting him hard!
When he was lying on the ground, after tasting the bloody flavor in his mouth, he let out a sudden chuckle!
How nice, he thought!
That Lu Yinchu had managed to arrive just in time was such a relief!
How good it was that he hadn’t committed the mistake! How truly wonderful!
This incident became a secret between him and Lu Yinchu, Yinyue herself wasn’t even aware of it!
She assumed that she had gotten drunk and been taken home by Lu Yinchu!
He still remembered the words that Yinchu had said to him at that time, "Shaojing, why do you think I allowed Mo Yan and Yinyue to get engaged? You’ve known me all these years, don’t you know what kind of person I am? Do you really believe that I would just hand my sister to any man? Are you pretending or are you really clueless?"
He continued, "Shaojing, this is the last time I’m helping you. If this happens again, I will show no mercy!"
Han Shaojing sat in his car, staring at the sparse stars in the sky and chuckled faintly, "Yinchu, you once told me that we were both trapped in a love quagmire without any hope for rescue!"
And here we are today, you’ve found your way out while I’m still struggling in the dark, bemusedly lost. Your luck and my misfortune both come down to a single word, ’dare’."
You dared to, and I didn’t. That’s all there is to it.