John stretched his arms above his head, enjoying the gentle spring breeze as he made his way through the grassland surrounding his villa. He decided to take a few days off from training. His Pokémon deserved the rest before advancing toward the Tower of Mastery.
"What a beautiful day," he said to no one in particular as he approached a serene meadow. Perfect for a quick lunch break.
John released his Pokémon from their Pokeballs one by one. Haxorus immediately began looking around for snacks, while Aerodactyl perched on a nearby rock, and Gardevoir gracefully helped set up their picnic. As John reached for his sandwich, a strange shimmer appeared in the air before him.
The shimmer intensified, warping the very fabric of reality. The meadow grass swayed without wind, and the sky seemed to bend inward. John's Pokémon stopped what they were doing, instinctively gathering around their trainer.
With a flash of golden light that nearly blinded John, a magnificent white figure materialized in the center of the meadow. A golden ring encircled its midsection, and its eyes held the wisdom of eons.
"A-Arceus?" John stammered, recognizing the Alpha Pokémon instantly. "THE Arceus? Creator of the Pokémon universe?"
The legendary Pokémon nodded slowly, its movement dignified and deliberate.
"John Pokemon," Arceus spoke, its voice somehow resonating directly in John's mind rather than through the air. "I have been watching your journey with great interest."
John's mouth fell open. His Gardevoir moved protectively to his side while Garchomp growled softly, unsure whether to prepare for battle against a literal god.
"I... thank you?" John managed, heart pounding in his chest. "This is quite an honor."
Arceus's eyes twinkled with something that might have been amusement. "Indeed. Your battle prowess has impressed many. Your bond with your Pokémon is commendable."
John straightened his posture, a swell of pride cutting through his shock. "Thank you. We've worked hard to get where we are."
"Yes," Arceus continued. "You have demonstrated remarkable skill. Which is why I have come to offer you... a position."
"A position?" John blinked. "Like... a Legendary Pokémon Trainer position? Guardian of some ancient artifact? Chosen One for a world-saving quest?" His mind raced with possibilities, each more exciting than the last.
"Not exactly," Arceus replied, pawing at the ground almost... nervously? "I would like to offer you a job in the Celestial Administrative Department."
John stared. "The... what?"
"The Celestial Administrative Department. CAD, for short." Arceus gestured with its head, and a glowing business card materialized in front of John. He plucked it from the air hesitantly.
The card read: "CELESTIAL ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENT - Maintaining Cosmic Balance Since The Beginning Of Time" in elegant gold lettering.
"I don't understand," John said.
"It's quite simple," Arceus explained. "CAD manages the day-to-day operations of the Pokémon universe. Someone has to file the paperwork when a new legendary is born, process transfer requests when Pokémon migrate between regions, handle the retirement benefits for Pokémon Center staff, and so on."
John blinked again. "And you want me to..."
"Data entry, mostly," Arceus said brightly. "Some filing. Occasional phone duty. Standard 9-to-5 hours, with a generous benefits package including dental—which, trust me, with all the Hyper Beams you trainers command Pokémon to use, you'll appreciate good dental. Two weeks paid vacation after the first year, company Rapidash for commuting, and a competitive salary."
John's Pokémon looked as confused as he felt. Gardevoir tilted her head skeptically.
"But... what about my journey? Becoming a Pokémon Master? The championship?"
Arceus sighed, a sound like distant thunder. "John, John, John. Do you have any idea how many aspiring 'Pokémon Masters' there are? Thousands upon thousands, all battling their way through tournaments, all convinced they're special. But you know what's really special? A reliable administrative assistant who can properly alphabetize interdimensional incident reports."
"I... I don't know what to say."
"Say yes!" Arceus's eyes lit up. "We have casual Fridays where you can wear jeans instead of slacks. The break room has an espresso machine—Dialga insisted. And you'll get to see parts of the universe no human has ever witnessed."
"From behind a desk," John pointed out.
"Well, yes," Arceus conceded. "But it's a very nice desk. Mahogany."
John looked at his Pokémon, who all seemed equally baffled. Garchomp made a dismissive gesture with its claws.
"I... I think I need to continue my journey," John said carefully. "I've worked too hard to give up now."
Arceus's expression—insofar as a divine quadrupedal being could have expressions—fell. "I see. Well, the offer stands. Should you change your mind, simply fold that card in half three times while standing under a full moon."
John nodded awkwardly. "Thanks. I'll, uh, keep that in mind."
Arceus turned to leave, then paused. "Oh, I almost forgot. Happy April Fool's Day, John."
With another flash of golden light, Arceus vanished, leaving behind only a gentle breeze and the lingering scent of divine paperwork.
Where the legendary Pokémon had stood, there was now only a small note card. John picked it up:
"Got you! – Saul Badman"
John groaned, looking around for hidden cameras. His Pokémon started laughing—even stoic Garchomp was rumbling with amusement. In the distance, he could hear familiar laughter.
Saul Badman stepped out from behind some nearby trees, holding a smartphone with a projector attachment.
"April Fools, kid!" the older trainer called out, grinning broadly. "You should have seen your face! 'A-Arceus?'" he mimicked John's shocked expression perfectly.
"Very funny," John grumbled, though a smile was tugging at his lips. "How did you manage that hologram? It looked so real!"
Badman patted his smartphone affectionately. "New tech from Silph Co. Couldn't resist trying it out on my star pupil. The 'casual Friday' bit was a nice touch, don't you think?"
John shook his head, laughing despite himself. "Next time I see a legendary Pokémon, I'm going to assume it's one of your pranks."
"That's the spirit!" Badman clapped him on the shoulder. "Now come on, I brought actual lunch. We can discuss your real future—which definitely involves more battles and fewer administrative duties."
As they sat down to eat, John couldn't help but chuckle. A 9-to-5 desk job offered by Arceus. What would he think of next?
Still, he carefully tucked the business card into his wallet. Just in case.
(AN: April Fool everybody hoped you liked my fake Chapter. The is the true one ;)