It was just straight up the most serious silence and standoff that James ever had in his life.
Charlotte’s blue eyes just fucking swallowed him whole, not like a void but like waves that just hit you in the face, you just drown in it... it was suffacting, just like how Lucian’s eyes were... but there was nothing on her face emotion-wise.
She just stared up at James, with her big eyes, not even blinking, just staring deep, not a single tear, not a single smile, nor anything that could imply what she was feeling like... she just looked emotionless.
But oh man, she was up there, her heart was beating fast just like back in the time when he was still at the Augustus house, when she witnessed things... she felt like she was going to explode at any moment, but she inherited what Lucian had, that poker face, without any emotion on it... at least when he was still sane, and not a paranoid fucker.
And now she was putting it on, because all her emotions were just swirling in her, just pumping her up, but to be truth, all this emotion was in her but still she didn’t know what to feel... about it at all nor did she understand it at all.
She was angry, she was sad, furious, but at the same time she was also happy, full of joy that he stood in front of her... but all of this was pushed down by one single thought in her, that she was abandoned by him, just like how he was abandoned by Lucian.
For a child it was something deep, something that rooted itself in her heart, in her being... and something that will be hard to get rid of and James understood it well. He knew what she went through back in the Augustus house, and moreover he knew what she went through with him.
Everything started off so well, they clicked together, they started to look like a family, joy and happiness, shopping, ice cream... and everything just turned into a fucking hole swirling in all the bullshit that can happen with them one by one.
She too witnessed the things that James did, that Bella and Erica did... Rafael and Hans’ death, she was there where the shooting happened at the house, she almost died, she was saved by the guard who shielded her... she witnessed the reality of their world, of the world she lives in.
That’s why James shattered with a simple question.
"How are you, darling?" It wasn’t just a simple question to be true... it was the only question he could ask that could come out of his mouth.
"I hate you." Charlotte said it firmly but at the same time light, no hesitation, no stuttering.
And it hit deep, it was a heavy blow from a fragile little girl. So much so that James didn’t know what to say in response, because there weren’t any words that could help at all. So he slowly knelt down, really slowly putting his weight on the cane to do it, while Charlotte just watched him as he finally got down to her level.
Though she didn’t move or say anything for a long moment.
"I know I hurt you, Charlotte." James finally spoke after the silence between them, a silence of a father and a daughter... the type of silence that is just heavy... the type of silence that you don’t need to explain.
She tried to be strong, but she couldn’t keep it up, couldn’t keep the poker face as her ter started to drip from her eyes. "Why do you love me if you hurt me?" she asked, her voice small and shaky. "I-I don’t want to be hurt anymore."
That was it, the moment that James almost broke... he was so close to it that he needed to bite down hard to not let anything come out, to not let any emotion take control of him, to not let any tear out of his eyes... because for Charlotte he needed to be strong right now, he needed to show that he is powerful, he is someone she can trust, she can rely on, she can love.
A father who do not show weaknesses... because he had already shown too many before.
"I can’t promise that, Charlotte." He said softly as he reached out and took her little hand in his. "Life is full of pain, and what matters is how we deal with it. You may be a child, but you already know what I do and where I have to be. But if I’m not with you, never think that I don’t love you or that I have abandoned you." He pulled her close to himself as he hugged her tightly, holding her small body against his. "I will always love you, and I will always think about you, no matter what."
It was enough for her... no, it was what she needed the most, the warm hug from somebody she truly loves, that’s the feeling of being protected... his dad, that’s what she needed all along to be close to him, to have this bond together... to feel loved by him.
Tears just came without stopping, and with them came her voice as she was crying, hugging James so tightly that it was just screaming how alone she felt without him... how much he means to her.
But for James too, this tight hug, the tears, and her cries were just warmth to him that someone still loved him unconditionally, that she had truly become a member of the family without even being with them for so long. She adapted and saw him as a father, a child who only wanted to be loved all his life.
There weren’t a lot of words, no back and forth, just the truth and a hug... and even if it wasn’t enough to fix everything, it was the only thing he had to give.