Chapter Warning: This Chapter contains heavy themes. You may choose to skip this Chapter if you feel uncomfortable.
"You don’t trust me, Dirsan... that hurt me. I am your boss, and we are in a mafia family."
"I mean, trust has different meanings, perspectives, and interpretations for each person. I trust you in the family, as a mafia member, a boss, but I don’t trust you outside of the family. And it’s not just because you are a cannibal, but because I don’t trust anybody. My life was horrible, terrifying, to say, so yeah."
"So you don’t trust James outside of the mafia either?"
"He is the exception. I trust him, even if he kills me." Dirsan chuckled. "It’s simple. He gave me a new life, and I gave him my life, a good deal. But you did the same, didn’t you?"
"Yeah, but likewise I don’t trust you either. And to be honest, I have this feeling that I want to kill you, but now I can’t... so from this moment on, just stay silent and drive, Dirsan." Finn said as he leaned back and just thought and thought about this whole situation... or at least wanted.
One thing about an introvert is that they can switch up fast, from talkative to completely silent... but if there’s an extrovert with them, then they’re fucked.
"Or what, you’re going to rip out my heart?" Dirsan laughed as another stop came. "Why the heart, though?" he asked, but then saw Finn’s eyes staring into the mirror with killing intent. "Of course, I’m not pressuring you into it."
"You want to hear my fucked-up story, don’t you? Huh? Why did I turn out , what was so traumatic?" Finn asked, his voice slightly lower now, but not as serious as his eyes. It was calm, his usual tone, as if nothing traumatic had ever happened to him.
"Exactly. And I finally had the courage to ask for it." Dirsan said honestly, but shit, he wasn’t prepared for what Finn was about to tell him.
To be honest, there isn’t a single person who would be prepared for something .
"My father sexually harassed my two sisters, sometimes even my mother did. And when I tried to stop them, they always said, ’Move, I will rip your heart out,’ and then continued to do the thing with my sisters. Then something just cracked in me after hearing the screams, the things he said while doing it. Yeah, my reality snapped, more like broken."
Dirsan immediately knew he had asked something he was better off not knowing. It would have been much wiser to just guess why Finn had turned out . Not juts that but Finn was smiling... that same ear to ear smile once again, looking like a fucking demon.
It was obvious he was fucking insane.
You don’t need to be sorry," Finn interrupted, still smiling as he shook his head. "Nobody needs to feel sorry for me, because they can’t understand what I felt, what I experienced, what I did..."
Silence, as Finn just still smiled, and Dirsan, as he drove, knew he needed to ask what he did, because that was what Finn wanted, what he waited for to be asked. He didn’t even blink, just waited for the question.
"What you... did?" Chapters first released on NovєlFіre.net
He fucking giggled as Dirsan asked it, still just staring at the mirror, giggling like a maniac and it was actually the first time Dirsan himself saw Finn ... like the real Finn, not the one that’s always composed the one that looks like somebody who is innocent.
"Ahh, I tortured my father and mother for weeks, and I ripped their hearts out and ate it." His smile faded as he said it. "It had meaning in it... for me." He continued, but he looked like he was reliving the moment, but then he snapped back to reality. "Then I did it, I lifted my sisters from the suffering. It was quick; they didn’t suffer, or more like I didn’t let them suffer." He looked up to the mirror. "I know they couldn’t have lived a good life after what happened to them. And secondly, they developed this feeling for my parents because their minds broke too, their reality shattered, so I lifted them up by... doing it, killing them."
Once again, silence for a bit, but then he continued.
"I know it sounds... wrong. But it felt right. I lifted them from everything. From this cruel world. They deserved better... they deserved a chance to live, but they couldn’t. And I... I gave them freedom. I freed them from pain, and in that I found something too."
A laugh, once again came from him. Now it was different, it was deeper, filled with emotion.
"Something twisted... yes... but it’s mine. Mine to hold. No one else can take it. No one can see what I saw, the relief... the silence after the screams stopped. It wasn’t just killing, it was salvation. For them... for me. My sisters... they’re free, they are safe. I took it, all the pain, the fear... the hate."
His voice dropped, almost like a confession to himself alone.
"I should, I should hate myself, I should feel it... the guilt... the loss... but I don’t. What I feel is something else. Relief. Peace. And... love. Sick as it sounds... love."
Drisan was... just frozen as he drove. Everything up until now that Finn told him, he couldn’t process, couldn’t think, couldn’t imagine it... it was just too much. He felt like he was being swallowed by the whole story, like a black hole... a story that he would never forget, a story that is a curse on its own... and the man sitting behind him, who did it all, who lived through it... who killed them.
"And I wonder." Finn laughed once again, no, it was more like a little giggle with a smile on his face. "... would anyone understand that? Could anyone ever... see what I saw? The world doesn’t let you save people like that. It doesn’t allow mercy... only cruelty. But I... I gave them mercy anyway. I gave them release. And that... that makes me alive... even if it kills everything else inside me. I killed them... to save them." He looked up at the mirror, taking a deep breath but did not look shaken by how he told it, reliving the past. "So that, my story Dirsan, that is the story of Finn the cannibal. Was it a good story?"
He asked it genuinely, like he was waiting for a fucking review on it form him.
"Uhh... I don’t know what the fuck to say, Finn," He answered, but didn’t glance at the mirror now, something just told him not to.. just look at the road and drive, because if he glanced at it, he would see something terrible, something horrifying.
"Hmm, It’s okay... nobody knows what to say, except James... you know what he told me?" Dirsan shook his head. "He said one simple word that stuck with me. He said... ’Live.’"
"Live... just... live?" He asked back, because shit just seemed meaningless, like who the fuck would say that when hearing a situation ...
"Yeah a simple word... but somehow... it hit me. Like, like a punch to the chest, but also... like a hand reaching out. He... he doesn’t want me to drown in it. He wants me... to survive it. To carry it... but not let it carry me, to use it to have meaning in life... and the meaning of life is to... live it, Dirsan."
Yeah, the only one word that James said to him... when he was fucking drunk and didn’t even understand half the story that Finn told him.
Though it worked... he tamed another beast... with one single fucking word... that is who James Bellini is.