"Alright, since you asked me to speak, you better listen well."
Lu Xiaobu picked up the microphone, sneering.
Hearing Lu Xiaobu’s words, everyone pricked up their ears.
They thought they had won.
They forced Lu Xiaobu to do as they wished.
"Young people should not fear failure, for failure is the mother of success."
Lu Xiaobu started with a classic opening.
Netizens scoffed at it.
"Old tricks, I thought there would be something new."
The audience also rolled their eyes.
Although Lu Xiaobu is unique in many ways, in this regard it’s all the same!
Lu Xiaobu followed with the rest of the sentence: "But success doesn’t acknowledge even its own kin!"
With that, those who thought it was the same old trope felt a stab in their heart.
"Damn! Thought it was just some soothing soup, turns out the soup is poisoned!"
"Holy shit, that’s ruthless!"
"If success doesn’t acknowledge kin, why tell us not to fear failure?"
Wen Family Hall slapped their foreheads.
Is this how you play the game?
Broadcasting toxic motivational speeches live?
Lu Xiaobu waved his hand: "What’s there to be sad about? Isn’t life all about ups and downs..."
"It’s only real when there are ups and downs."
"Looks like he was joking just now."
Lu Xiaobu paused: "Then, continue to fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall?"
Each mention of "fall" was a stab to the heart, bleeding profusely!
"Holy shit, only downfall left, right?"
"Are we falling all the way to the Mariana Trench?"
"It’s over, my life is in darkness!"
Lu Xiaobu sighed: "Well, you only see others thriving on the surface..."
Netizens shook their heads and smiled bitterly.
They knew what was coming wasn’t going to be any ordinary motivational talk.
Lu Xiaobu smiled smugly: "But you don’t know that behind the scenes, they also live a life of flourishing success."
Countless netizens clutched their hearts, wailing.
"My heart can’t take this!"
"It’s so damn heartbreaking!"
"I’m wrong, I’m wrong, stop talking."
Lu Xiaobu sneered, Do you think you can ask me to speak and then tell me to stop at your whim!?
Full firepower, continue!
"Pay attention to details, start with the little things."
"Because you can’t handle big tasks."
Netizens wailed in agony.
"Too blunt! Too heartbreaking!"
"Young Master Bu, I beg you, can we stop talking now?!"
Lu Xiaobu waved his hand, pointing off into the distance: "Life is more than just scraping by..."
Then, changing his tone, he spread his hands: "After all, there are invitations from exes."
"Pfft! Who has fast-acting heart-saving pills?"
"Please call 120 for me, thank you!"
"That’s deadly poison! Highly toxic!"
Lu Xiaobu sighed: "Actually, even so, we still need to keep trying..."
Netizens were stunned. Were we getting back on the right track?
"After all, if you don’t try hard, you won’t know what desperation is!" Lu Xiaobu spread his hands again!
They were struck down one by one, lying on the couch like salted fish, not wanting to move!
Their hearts were stabbed through, they were already cold!
Don’t call their names, please call them salted fish!
Drink this bowl of toxic chicken soup!
Of course, Lu Xiaobu would continue.
His toxic chicken soup came one after another.
He himself loved drinking toxic chicken soup the most; after finishing, he felt extremely refreshed.
"Don’t complain that you can’t find the right person among a billion people, after all, when you only had four multiple choices, you never got it right either."
Salted fish netizens flipped over, holding their chests, continuing to listen.
"The bosses who talk about ideals only do so to avoid giving you a raise."
Salted fish netizens clutched their hair, continuing to listen.
"There’s nothing difficult in the world, only fearsome wealthy people."
Salted fish netizens slumped on the sofa, speechlessly listening.
"Birds of a feather flock together, people are separated by poverty. Wealthy people end up together."
Salted fish netizens announced they had evolved, they are not salted fish anymore, please call them dead fish!
"If you’re still persevering, it means you aren’t desperate enough."
Dead fish said they weren’t desperate before, but now, they are!
"The best you can do with all your effort may still not compare to someone else’s casual attempt."
Dead fish netizens said they don’t want to turn over, and agreed with you.
"You should thank those who knocked you down. Because lying down is very comfortable."
Dead fish netizens agreed, only after being knocked down by you, they discovered how comfortable it is to sprawl on the sofa.
"Young people, so what if you don’t have money now? You’ll have plenty of days without money in the future."
Dead fish netizens ultra-evolved, mud netizens.
"The ugly duckling didn’t become a swan from its own effort but because its parents were swans."
Mud said, we can’t evolve into swans, but we can devolve!
"You think just by being pretty, boys will like you? You think just having money pretty girls will throw themselves at you? You think a top student can find a good job? Let me tell you, all of these are true!"
Mud said you’re right, but they don’t feel like talking.
"Apart from rich people, there are two other types of people in the world: one saves to buy luxury goods to show off, and the other, even with savings, can’t afford luxury goods."
Mud: Please call me the latter, thank you!
"Life will never courteously wave at you and say, ’Come here, let’s reason this out.’ Life will only slap you down to the ground and say: ’Idiot, learn something!’"
Mud: I know you are the one who knocked me down, I’ve already laid down! Ready to take a nap here!
Lu Xiaobu snapped his fingers: "So, are you full yet?"
Comments were slow to respond.
Mud stated, they don’t want to respond, they just want to die!
Wen Family Hall chuckled bitterly on the side.
He was truly convinced.
This was definitely someone who could bring toxic chicken soup to television.
Every word targeting the heart!
Netizens are probably heartbroken right now, all wanting to die.
"Lastly, let me give you another piece, don’t keep thinking about copying success stories. First, think about whether your memory is enough to copy. If not, aren’t you going to earn money to increase your memory? Even if you manage to copy successfully, tell me, do you have a place to paste it?"
"So, don’t daydream all the time, unless, like me, you don’t care about spending money!"
After Lu Xiaobu finished his last sentence, he threw the microphone down and strode away from the conference venue!
You asked me to speak, so I spoke.
Hope you find it comfortable, hope you enjoy it!