The progression of feelings between the two of them, in some ways, is much faster than that between Lin Tian and Gan Yanyu.
It’s just a matter of breaking the thin layer of window paper.
Actually, up until now.
Before parting, if there’s any unfulfilled regret Lin Tian has concerning this deskmate.
It’s probably seeing Xu Yong end up with Su Ran.
"You really haven’t noticed at all?"
Lin Tian couldn’t help but ask.
At the moment Lin Tian said this.
The air suddenly fell into a brief silence.
Xu Yong put down the spoon in his hand.
A distant voice came through.
Lin Tian looked up and was surprised to find that.
This Xu Yong, who always seemed careless and spoke with a mocking tone.
Now, he looked serious, with a fleeting sadness in his eyes.
Xu Yong smiled self-deprecatingly.
Hearing this, Lin Tian paused for a moment.
He recalled what Xu Yong was referring to.
Despite Xu Yong’s current carefree, slick-talk persona, who frequently uses words like "useless," and showcases a misogynistic side when arguing with feminists online.
Lin Tian understands his true nature.
Deep down, he wishes to meet a simple and kind girl, who would treat him well wholeheartedly, who doesn’t play games, who is pure and gentle, and who, when he is sad, would give him a lap pillow, smiling and telling him it’s all right, saving him from the abyss of madness.
And in fact, he’s not without admirers.
It was the second half of sophomore year when a junior from the same school confessed to Xu Yong.
However, after a long silence, Xu Yong said this:
"Although someone likes me and it makes me happy, for someone like me, who feels worthless and doesn’t even like myself, your taste is really low."
"I am inherently insecure, sensitive, and can be very taxing to be around. If we really get together, you’ll eventually be unable to stand it and leave, so it’s better to end from the start. People like me should be alone forever."
In the end, the matter was left unresolved.
After a week of being emo, Xu Yong returned to his routine of exchanging banter with Lin Tian and engaging in online squabbles with feminists.
He’s just a small boy, insecure and cowardly, in his adolescent school days.
"I’ve thought about whether Su Ran might actually have feelings for me. Although she has a sharp tongue, she’s always been nice to me."
"During the winter vacation, she frequently found all sorts of reasons to hang out with me. On New Year’s Eve, she gave me a gift, and during college entrance exam preparations, she put a lot of effort into teaching me."
"I actually knew... But, Tian... you know, I’m just the type who can’t live up to others’ expectations."
Xu Yong looked up and gave Lin Tian a bitter smile,
" rat, I should just return to the sewer, live in my own world, browse forums, and play games. I’m already satisfied with this life."
"No matter what Su Ran thinks, whether she really likes me or not... it doesn’t matter. Because from the start, there’s no way I could have a story with her, and this time together was just a small memory left behind by two playful high school students."
It’s rare to see such a serious Xu Yong; the last time was when he was confessed to by the junior during sophomore year.
He wanted to say something, but felt it unnecessary.
Lin Tian was unsure whether any words of comfort he offered would be helpful or harmful.
"The better she treats me, the less I want to hurt her... Since it’ll all end up like that anyway, better to end the story right from the beginning..."
The air was silent for ten seconds.
Then, Xu Yong lifted his head and smiled again,
He stood up, punched Lin Tian’s shoulder,
"So, you are the one who should be damned!"
"Someone like you deserves to have stories during student days. I, on the other hand, am suited to play a supporting role in others’ youth."
"That’s an exaggeration." Lin Tian finally couldn’t help but speak.
"Stop worrying about me. My life is set, and we probably won’t have much opportunity to meet in the future anyway."
"You should focus on yourself, you’re the one who should be rushing!"
"Let me be honest — you don’t really plan to win some world championship before being with Gan Yan, do you?"