She still didn’t trust him! After all these years, she still didn’t trust him, didn’t understand his temperament! Shi Fengju’s heart felt suddenly empty, indescribably disappointed. He persisted, saying, "Fang’er, I’m serious! We can think of a way together, I believe it’s possible! Three years from now, I will marry you as my wife!"
Gu Fangzi was unwilling to believe Shi Fengju’s words, assuming he was purposely stalling and appeasing her! Three years? She sneered inwardly, who knew what would happen in three years! The daylily would have long been cold!
If she had to observe mourning, she could only stay in this courtyard, not even allowed to go to the Shi Mansion! As the saying goes, once the person is gone, the tea turns cold; she feared that in three years, he wouldn’t even remember who she was.
Nothing compares to holding onto something firmly in your hand, keeping it by your side.
"Big cousin, I really never aspired to usurp the position of your lawful wife, truly! Being with you, even as a concubine, I’m already content! I will definitely get along well with your lawful wife, I absolutely won’t make things difficult for you!" Gu Fangzi said pitifully, "Big cousin, do you still worry that I, a mere orphan, would cause any trouble? I won’t! If I can be granted a place to shelter from the wind and rain, I, I would be completely satisfied!"
As she spoke, tears fell again.
Shi Fengju stared at her blankly, his heart filled with confusion.
She was satisfied, she said she would be content even as a concubine!
But he wasn’t. He loved her, and he didn’t want to wrong her; he wanted her to stand by his side as an equal, to grow old together, to be that person who walked with him through life! Even after death, to be worshipped together in the ancestral hall! Not as some "Aunt" with a half-slave title! He, Shi Fengju, was not short of slaves, nor was the Shi Mansion!
"Fang’er," Shi Fengju sighed softly, "There’s something I don’t know if you will believe, but I haven’t touched Sang Wan at all. I’ve agreed with her that we will divorce after one year, and have nothing to do with each other in marriage. If, if you are willing to wait for the three years of mourning, I really can marry you as my wife."
Gu Fangzi was stunned, staring at Shi Fengju as if she had seen a ghost.
No sooner had Shi Fengju finished speaking than he deeply regretted it! How could he have said it! If this were to spread, what kind of gossip would it stir up, and what would become of Sang Wan’s reputation? What about the honor of the Shi family?
"What? What did you say?" Gu Fangzi’s eyes were still wide open, her face still showing the same astonished expression.
She couldn’t be blamed for her reaction, as the news was too shocking for her! How could this be possible.
Shi Fengju coughed a bit unnaturally, avoiding her gaze and said awkwardly, "Well, it doesn’t matter, believe it or not!"
If Gu Fangzi truly understood Shi Fengju, his demeanor would have told her that what he had just said was absolutely true. But now, her mind was filled with thoughts of her own future, where would she have the mental space to think of anything else?
Seeing that Shi Fengju was evading and stuttering, not willing to confront the issue head-on, Gu Fangzi instantly decided that he was guilty—guilty from deceiving her!
Gu Fangzi couldn’t help feeling angry secretly; to postpone the matter, he even said such an unreliable thing! A man’s heart is indeed fickle! Gu Fangzi regretted; why had she insisted on being so reserved at the beginning? She should have tied the knot with him before Sang Wan entered the door.
"Big cousin, I’m serious, what I said is all true!" Gu Fangzi declared tearfully and earnestly, "I swear, I really just want to be by your side, even as a concubine I’m willing! I won’t fight with your lawful wife for anything, really won’t!"
"Fangzi, is this really what’s in your heart?" Shi Fengju’s voice, like him, was a bit vacant and drifting, his heart even more a mix of complex feelings!
This was the woman he had liked and admired for so many years, the woman he had yearned to spend a lifetime with! Turns out, she only wanted to be a concubine.
He didn’t think she was noble, he just felt deeply disappointed.
"Yes, it’s what’s in my heart! I can swear to it!" Gu Fangzi quickly nodded.
"Alright then!" Shi Fengju glanced at her indifferently, nodded and sighed, "I understand!"
"So, you agree?" Gu Fangzi’s eyes lit up.
"Mhm!" Shi Fengju nodded lightly. From this moment on, she was just his concubine, nothing more!
Gu Fangzi smiled happily, clutching Shi Fengju’s arm, "Big cousin, I knew you wouldn’t abandon me, wouldn’t leave me! Big cousin..."
Shi Fengju turned his head to look at her, his eyes and heart eerily calm. That throbbing feeling of the heart, vanished completely clean.