In Lai Shengxia’s memory——
As long as she showed vulnerability , Han Jifeng would always forgive her.
She tightened her embrace around Han Jifeng: "Your aunt called me; she said you had a car accident, and I was really scared, scared that I might never see you again. Despite you treating me with indifference, I still can’t help but think of you, think of our past."
Under the light, two embracing figures cast their shadows on the wall.
Lai Shengxia’s voice echoed in the hospital room: "You have every right to hate me. I shouldn’t have left you when you were at your lowest, shouldn’t have let my family arrange my marriage, shouldn’t have been with Qin Yansheng, and even more, shouldn’t have easily abandoned our relationship spanning several years."
"Can you please... stop punishing me?"
Han Jifeng stood still in place, while Lai Shengxia’s arms around his waist tightened: "That afternoon, Ah Li suddenly came back, and she told me that you never actually loved me, that she was the one you wanted to marry, and I was just a flavor enhancer during your boring college life. In front of me, she made that call."
There was a hint of bitterness in Lai Shengxia’s words: "But what does it matter, you are the man I love. Even having become someone else’s fiancée, my thoughts are still filled with you.
Do you understand what it feels like to sleep in the same bed yet dream different dreams? Lying next to another man, yet not thinking of him, afraid to toss and turn lest he notices, with hands and feet still cold beneath the covers, forcing a smile just to get through the day."
After a long time, Han Jifeng pushed her away.
Lai Shengxia looked up, with tears streaming down her face.
Realizing her own loss of composure, she hastily wiped the tears off her face and then forced a constrained smile: "We’ve already broken up, it’s been more than a year. Who you want to be with... ultimately, I have no right to interfere."
"Actually... Ah Li is quite good, she liked you before, and she’s still young, unlike me..."
Saying so, she laughed sarcastically at herself.
After a while, Lai Shengxia took a deep breath, met Han Jifeng’s deep eyes, and feigned a smile: "I heard what you said on the phone that day. If Ah Li is your choice, I will bless you."
Han Jifeng had seen a similar scene in his dreams.
It was after the relationship between Lai Shengxia and Qin Zhong was exposed by the media.
Regarding his relationship with Lai Shengxia, she had always been the dominant one, composed and elegant in front of him as if she could never commit outrageous acts. When she divorced and returned to the country, it seemed like he, step by step, made her become the universally despised third party.
The guiltier he felt towards her in his heart,
the more he wanted to break free from the marriage with Tang Li.
After learning she and Qin Zhong had a child together, the day after the election, he moved out of his home with nothing but the clothes on his back.
He didn’t talk about divorce, but he no longer wanted to face her.
Even less could he bear to continue sharing the same bed.
What he thought was unquestionable affection turned out to be a joke in the end.
Within a couple of days, Lai Shengxia found where he lived, and just like now, she employed a tactic of retreat as an advance, firmly believing in the feelings he had for her throughout those years, as if clinging to his lifeblood. While admitting her wrongdoings, she initiated the divorce, forcing a smile because she didn’t want him to suffer on her account anymore.
In fact, all she did was to "force" him to soften his heart.
In the dream of their life 20-odd years later, he and Lai Shengxia appeared as a couple in public, but at home, their relationship was no better than that of strangers.