The atmosphere in the room was somewhat strange, as if time had frozen. After a tense moment, Shen Mianmian suddenly looked up, her face serious, as she said, "He Nan, the gap between us... it’s truly too vast, so vast that I can’t help but think about those issues, and I find it impossible to give my whole heart without reservation. I’m afraid that when the time comes to part, I might not be able to handle it, I might not be as magnanimous as I imagined, and I could end up like a lunatic, clinging to you, not letting you go. That would cause you a lot of trouble, and that’s something I don’t want to see, so I can only make myself stay clear-headed. It’s somewhat selfish of me, I’m sorry."
Hearing her words, He Nan felt both heartache for her and an indescribable pain. They had been together for so long, yet he had never brought up this issue, hoping she would see some things for herself.
But now, she was still concerned about these matters.
He rubbed her cheek with his thumb, his eyes complex, "So, you still don’t believe in my feelings for you?"
Shen Mianmian pursed her lips and explained, "He Nan, it’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that people can change. I believe that you are completely devoted now, but what if Grandpa and Aunt Fu oppose us? Would you confront them for my sake? They are your closest family; you would find it very difficult to be caught in the middle."
She couldn’t bear to see him in such a difficult position; he was meant for greater things, not to waste his time and energy on a mere romantic entanglement.
"The words I said before, you didn’t take them to heart, huh?" He Nan’s eyes darkened, seemingly holding back something. Fınd the newest release on 𝗻𝗼𝘷𝗲𝗹•𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓮•𝕟𝕖𝕥
"It’s not that I didn’t take them to heart, it’s just that the better you treat me, the more I hate to put you in a difficult position." Especially after all sorts of ridicule from Ruan Lingyu, Shen Mianmian became even more certain of the impact their being together would have on He Nan.
He Nan let out a cold laugh, "Impact? What impact? Do you think I would fear the opinions of those people? I want to marry you; who has the right to stop me?"
Listening to his words, Shen Mianmian said, "He Nan, I’m still in school, it will be at least three to four years before I face those issues. A lot can happen in a few years; maybe during that time, you’ll suddenly discover that it’s not me you like, but that you thought you liked me because of someone else’s influence. Isn’t it better for us to be just fine as we are now? You expect me to fully, unwaveringly believe and depend on you, but what if you realize you don’t like me anymore? What would you have me do then?"
She knew she wouldn’t hate him, but her heart would still ache.
"So, you’ve decided to keep the mindset of always being ready to leave, and stay with me?" He Nan slightly narrowed his eyes, clearly nearing the limit of his patience.
Reason told Shen Mianmian that she should now say something pleasant to appease him, to tell him that she didn’t really think this way, but this man was He Nan!
He Nan, who had always wholeheartedly treated her well, who had led her out of misery; how could she deceive him?
"He Nan, I can’t help being somewhat selfish."
She could love him wholeheartedly now, but subconsciously, she also kept a mindset of being ready to withdraw at any moment, reminding herself to love him with clarity.
During the time in Licheng, she genuinely wanted to improve and stay by his side forever, but ever since she learned that he liked her because he saw the shadow of Ruan Mianmian in her, she couldn’t help but make preparations to withdraw at any moment.