She felt very uncomfortable not washing her hair.
So, with her hair still wet, Chiang Xiao would occasionally catch a glimpse of someone’s eyes flashing with mirth as she sat in the yard to air-dry.
As for the engagement celebration, whether it would happen or not, everything was ready. Three tables had been set up, meat, wine, and cigarettes had been bought, and Chiang Songhai and Ge Liutao had gone separately to invite the Patriarchal Great Uncle and Secretary Yao. Chiang Xiao’s objections were ignored by everyone.
Feeling utterly powerless, she sat under a tree, idly teasing ants with a small twig while reflecting on herself.
Had her previous lack of opposition to playacting and her wanting this fake fiancé led them all to misunderstand?
But she wanted the fake, not the real deal.
Why did no one listen to her?
What happened to her being in charge?
Whose household was this, really, and why did Tyrant Meng’s words hold more sway than hers?
"Little, your clothes are ready. Come and try them on to see how they fit," Ge Xiaotong’s voice carried excitement greater than when she herself had gotten engaged.
Chiang Xiao felt too listless to want to move.
Ge Liutao walked over, grabbed her, and pulled her into the house.
"Little," she began, her eyes reddening, "this is a good thing, yet you still can’t see it? You have no idea, but your great-aunt really went to the clan elder’s house the day before yesterday and said such nasty things about you. She insisted on having you expelled from the clan. Now that you’re engaged, we don’t have to worry. The clan elder has even agreed to come to the feast."
"Grandma, so what if I’m expelled? That’s nothing," said Chiang Xiao nonchalantly.
But Liu Pei couldn’t help but slap her lightly.
"You silly child, what are you saying? Think being expelled from the clan is a trifle? You would be looked down upon by everyone in the village, no, by everyone in G Province! If anyone hears that you were expelled and driven out by your own clan, they would all look down on you! And for a woman, it’s even harder. You’d struggle to find a husband’s family, and even if you did, they’d look down on you, giving you no status. Your future children would be despised as well."
Liu Pei glanced at Ge Liutao, holding back words she dared not say, but Ge Liutao herself spoke up, "Your mother... was expelled from the clan."
She bowed her head to wipe away tears, her voice choked up, "The reason she ran away back then was that she couldn’t stay in the village. Every time she left the house, people would curse her, throw rotten leaves, mud, and stones at her. Some said she should be expelled from the clan; she was even more scared, and so she ran. For years after she left, people still warned your grandfather and me, saying that if Chiang Qingzhu ever came back, we were not to keep her at home, that it would bring shame to the whole village."
Chiang Xiao pursed her lips and said nothing.
She couldn’t imagine how chaotic things were ten years ago.
But now, she could hear the hardship and pain her family had endured back then.
Chiang Songhai and Ge Liutao’s personalities might also have been shaped by that era, which was not a time when you could change your fate by rebelling. In fact, rebellion might have led to even greater tragedy.
"Even if we were able to leave," said Ge Liutao, "just like your mother, running for so many years, what if something happened to her out there and our village needed to write a referral letter, to vouch for her or something? Could that be done? The villagers wouldn’t care about her. If someone asked her why she, a woman, had run away from her home, what could she say? She could only swallow her tears."
As Ge Liutao spoke, she continued to wipe her tears.
She rarely mentioned Chiang Qingzhu in front of Chiang Xiao, but today she couldn’t help herself.
In her eyes, Chiang Xiao finally having someone to rely on signified not just a sense of security, but also an additional meaning.
It meant someone didn’t mind that her father was a mystery and her mother’s fate unknown, that she would have a place to belong.