After taking the medicine, Wang Xiangxiang still did not speak; Xiaoxiao’s eyes were filled with heartache. "Sister Wang, you should go back to bed and lie down. After a good sleep, you won’t have a fever when you wake up tomorrow."
Wang Xiangxiang followed Xiaoxiao’s instructions and returned to bed. Lifting the covers, she saw the bloodstains she had left, a stark reminder of her lost virginity.
She lay down, turning her back to Xiaoxiao, and closed her eyes.
Seeing that she was resting again, Xiaoxiao tidied up the bowls and chopsticks and left the room.
Once Xiaoxiao was gone, Wang Xiangxiang couldn’t control herself any longer. She covered her mouth with both hands, fearing that Xiaoxiao would hear her crying. Alone under the covers, she wept silently, her body trembling from time to time.
When Xiaoxiao returned to the room, the silent Wang Xiangxiang finally spoke, "Xiaoxiao, I want to take a bath."
"Sister Wang, you still have a high fever?"
"I want to wash off all this filth from my body."
"..." So Wang Xiangxiang knew everything. Xiaoxiao thought it was impossible to keep such a thing hidden. Now understanding her distress, Xiaoxiao, unable to bear the sight of her curled up back in the bed, agreed, "Sister Wang, I’ll go prepare."
Soon, Xiaoxiao readied the bathwater, thankful that Yang Ming had refilled the water tank; otherwise, there wouldn’t have been any water to heat.
After Xiaoxiao entered the room, she asked, "Sister Wang, can you manage on your own? Do you want me to stay with you?"
"No need, I want to be alone."
After preparing the change of clothes and bathing necessities for Wang Xiangxiang, Xiaoxiao went back into the house.
Wang Xiangxiang undressed and sat in the bathtub, furiously scrubbing every part of her body with her hands.
But no matter how much she cleaned, the marks remained, a constant reminder that she was no longer a virgin.
Once again, she covered her mouth with both hands, crying silently upon realizing a terrible truth.
While engaged in that act, she had imagined the man as the brazen Yang Ming. She could almost hear him whispering her nickname, Xiangxiang, by her ear. He said he liked her, wanted to marry her, and in her confusion, she had wanted to be with him; he was all she ever thought about.
She realized that she had fallen for him unconsciously. She despised herself; why hadn’t she accepted his family’s proposal? Now it was all too late.
Now that she was sober, she knew she must have been ravaged by the nobleman who had appeared from nowhere to save her. Yet, she could not harbor resentment because she understood that everything had happened because she had been drugged with an aphrodisiac by thugs. Ultimately, he had intended to rescue her.
At that moment, she was crying so hard she could no longer make a sound. She poured water over her face, wanting to forget everything, but she couldn’t; she wanted to wash it all away, but she couldn’t. She was no longer pure.
Unworthy of the brazen Yang Ming now that she was impure, he was too outstanding. Even if she had been pure, he would not have liked her, because his affections were for Xiaoxiao. They were not meant to be in this lifetime.
Wang Xiangxiang, the more she thought about it, the more desperate she became, eventually entertaining the option of suicide.
She got up, dressed, and took the kitchen knife from Xiaoxiao’s outer room. She slashed her wrist, then calmly placed the knife down, sat beside the bathtub, and dipped her hand into the water.
Resting her head on the edge of the bathtub, she slowly closed her eyes, thinking, "If only that person was really you."