The next morning, Ellen woke up with the memory of Mason’s kiss lingering in her mind like a dream she couldn’t quite shake. As she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, she replayed the moment over and over again, each time feeling a fresh wave of confusion and unease wash over her. She touched her lips softly, remembering the warmth of his mouth against hers, the unexpected tenderness in the way he’d kissed her.
It was her first kiss, and she still didn’t know how to feel about it.
She sighed deeply, rubbing her eyes as she tried to shake off the thoughts. It was strange, how something that had felt so significant to her seemed to mean nothing to Mason.
Ellen couldn’t help but wonder if it had all been in her head. Had the kiss really been nothing more than a way for him to shut her up? A tactic to silence her endless apologies and bring an end to a conversation he didn’t want to have? She swallowed hard, the realization sinking in with a dull ache. She had wanted the kiss to mean something, but maybe it was just another part of Mason’s unspoken rules—another reminder that they were married in name only.
"Was it really nothing?" she whispered to herself, her voice barely audible in the quiet room. The question hung in the air, heavy and unanswered, as she tried to make sense of her feelings. On one hand, it was her first kiss, something she had always imagined would be special, magical even. But on the other hand, it had been with a man who didn’t even love her, who barely acknowledged her beyond what was necessary.
She bit her lower lip, feeling the sting of disappointment and frustration. Shouldn’t she be happy that her first kiss was with her husband? Wasn’t that what every girl dreamed of? Yet, there was no joy in the memory, only confusion and a deep sense of loss for something she had never really had. Mason was her husband, yes, but he was also a stranger in many ways. A man who held her at arm’s length, even when they were as close as two people could be.
Ellen pushed herself out of bed, her movements sluggish as she made her way to the bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes searching her own face for answers she knew she wouldn’t find. "Get a grip, Ellen," she muttered, splashing cold water on her face as if that could wash away the thoughts swirling in her head.
As she dressed and headed downstairs, she found herself dreading the thought of seeing Mason again. Would he continue to act like nothing had happened? Would he just go about his day, indifferent to the fact that he had turned her world upside down with a single kiss?
When she entered the kitchen, Mason was already there, reading the newspaper and sipping his coffee. He looked up briefly when she walked in, giving her a small nod before returning to his paper. There was no trace of the kiss in his expression, no sign that he had even thought about it since last night. Ellen forced a smile, trying to keep her own emotions in check as she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down across from him.
Ellen’s mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them. What could she possibly say that wouldn’t sound ridiculous? That wouldn’t make her seem even more foolish than she already felt?
She took a sip of her coffee, the bitterness matching the taste of her own uncertainty. Maybe it was better this way, she told herself. Maybe it was better to pretend that nothing had happened, to go on with their lives as if that kiss hadn’t meant anything. But deep down, she knew that wasn’t true. It had meant something to her, whether Mason acknowledged it or not.
As the morning wore on, Mason continued to act completely normal, as if last night had never happened. When Mason finally stood up to leave, she watched him go with a heavy heart. She wanted to ask him, wanted to know what that kiss had meant to him, if anything at all. But the words wouldn’t come, trapped in her throat by the fear of hearing an answer she didn’t want. Instead, she just smiled and wished him a good day, her voice hollow in her own ears.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Ellen let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. She sank back into her chair, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over her. This was all too much, too confusing. She had never experienced anything like this before, and it made her feel quite unsettled.
Damn Mason and his kiss.
But rather than dwell on it, rather than sit there and let the confusion consume her, Ellen decided she needed to do something, anything, to clear her head. Grocery shopping seemed like a good distraction. With that plan in mind, she pushed herself up from the chair, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door.
**
After checking out, Ellen decided she wasn’t quite ready to go home. The thought of being alone with her thoughts again made her anxious, so she headed to a nearby café.
She walked with a grocery bag in each hand, the weight of them light compared to the trays of drinks she was used to carrying at the café where she worked. Her steps were steady, her mind clearer now that she had something else to think about.
As she neared the café, something caused her to stop. She turned back to the restaurant she had just passed and, peering through its large front window,, she saw a familiar figure. Ellen blinked, her heart skipping a beat as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. Isn’t that... Mason? With Aubrey?!