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Chapter 81 Arrive at Yanping (1)
“Eat…”
Zhao Zimu reached out and handed the buns to the siblings huddled at the corner of the wall. Perhaps, they were siblings or maybe not. They were two little beggars, a boy and a girl.
The clothes on their bodies were pitifully broken. It was like the rags used by the servants in Qiansui’s residence. Also, they were so tattered and dirty that one couldn’t see their original appearance anymore.
Both of them seemed about eight or nine-year-old. They were dirty, messy and thin as a match. Seeing that someone handed them buns, but they didn’t dare to take it. They only stared at the two bright white buns with a pair of dark and longing eyes, but when they saw that the person who was handing them the buns was wearing a brocade robe of officials, their eyes froze instantly. They hugged each other more tightly and their whole body couldn’t help but exude alertness.
Because they didn’t know if the kindness of the person in front of them harbored evil designs.
Zhao Zimu didn’t wait for their change of heart. She put the buns down, turned and walked away. She didn’t stay there too long because it was useless.
Pulling Lin Qing’s hand, they walked back to the two horses. Zhang Xin had already stopped and waited for them. Lin Qing held her hand tightly and stared at her with long and narrow eyes. He asked, “Are you pitying them?”
Zhao Zimu didn’t speak and only looked at him calmly. Lin Qing hated this kind of pity and hated this kind of compassion from her even more. If she could feel compassion towards unrelated people, would she take pity on more people like this? Did she care about them? But if she cared about so many people, was there still place in his heart for him? Where would she put him?
Lin Qing suppressed himself to not think about it because he also knew that sometimes he was too insecure in front of her. These insecurities may be ridiculous to her, but he couldn’t help but stare at her fixedly.
Zhao Zimu looked at the nervous him and asked puzzled, “What’s the matter?”
Lin Qing pursed his lips for a while and said, “How much is your compassion worth? What is the point of doing this?”
To what extent can your compassion make you contribute to one thing? How much can you help the two little beggars by treating them like that?
Zhao Zimu looked at him silently for a moment. Then, she reached out to touch his face and smiled helplessly, “Didn’t I tell you, I’m a selfish person. Everything a selfish person does is for himself. I don’t deny my compassion. Sometimes, it would also overflow inexplicably because of the so-called pitiful people. However, everything I do is for myself.”
Looking at Lin Qing’s incomprehensive expression, Zhao Zimu pointed at the wild goose that flew across the sky and said, “Everyone has compassion. So do I. this kind of compassion often drove people to be kind. If they don’t, they would feel uneasy. However, people often fail to achieve the goal required by this kind of compassion. Therefore, they often looked for all kind of excuses to make their heart feel at ease and achieve their goal by comforting themselves. They would look for an excuse for this kind of compassion to make their heart at ease. It is like when people shoot animals to death. It is obviously a massacre, but they found an excuse that it was to fill the stomach. This excuse was only to make them feel at ease. A massacre is a massacre. No matter how many excuses were made, it wouldn’t be able to change the essence. Although, I gave the two little beggars a few buns because of temporarily pity, but in fact, I didn’t truly help them. After this meal, they would still beg. Living from hand to mouth will still be living from hand to mouth. I didn’t truly help them, but I was able to satisfy my compassion. So, I am not as great as you made me to be. Not to mention…”
Zhao Zimu sighed and said, “It is not them that I have pity for. The thing I pity is this northwest that had been ravaged and crushed by the Xiongnu.”
What is the big deal with giving a few buns to two little beggars?
Lin Qing was dumbstruck for a moment. So, did she mean that she was still selfish in nature?
“Then, are you now disturbed because of the situation of the northwest?”
Zhao Zimu held his waist and whispered, “You don’t like it?”
Lin Qing clenched his hand into a fist. Suppression flashed through his grim and effeminate eyes. His voice was low and authentic when he said, “I won’t stop you from doing anything you want to do as long as you like it, but…”
Zhao Zimu looked at him puzzled. But what? Lin Qing’s cold voice was like a knife cutting through ice. With a cold and hard aura, he said, “Except for yourself, your life must be mine!”
Aside from yourself, the most important person to you must be me!
Aside from yourself, I must be in the first place in your heart!
Lin Qing’s love was biased and insecure to the extent that he couldn’t even hide his weakness.
Zhao Zimu pulled his hand. With calm and gentle eyes like water, she looked at him and said, “Okay.”
She would never refuse his requests. It was like that in the past, it is like that now and it will be like that in the future.
Not long after, the group of people reached the border of Yanping. General Pingxi personally welcomed them at the city gate.
Naturally, the father and son, Chen Jin and Chen Jing were happy to see each other again. Not to mention that Chen Jing brought fifty thousand soldiers, which was a good thing for the entire northwest. However, everyone wasn’t as welcome with Lin Qing’s arrival like they were with Situ Yuanxiao’s and Chen Jing’s.
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