They didn’t reply. Rowan just smirked, and Kael leaned over to whisper something to Belinda, making her giggle again.
I turned and walked out before my rage consumed me completely.
I walked back to Lisa’s room slowly. My chest felt heavy, like something was pressing me down. I wanted to talk to her again. I wanted her to look at me, even if it was with anger. But when I got to her door, I froze. I couldn’t bring myself to knock, not after how she had yelled at me earlier.
So instead, I leaned against the wall and slid down, sitting on the cold floor. My back pressed against the wood of her door. I knew she was in there. I could feel her presence.
I let out a shaky breath and spoke in a low voice.
"Lisa... I know you don’t want to hear me right now," I whispered, almost ashamed. "I know you probably hate me. Maybe you should. Maybe I deserve it. But I just want to say something... something I should have said long ago."
I rested my head back against the door.
"I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want to force myself into your space. I just... I just want to be your friend."
My throat tightened as the words slipped out.
"Not just a friend. Not just your mate. Your best friend, if you’d let me."
I gave a small, bitter laugh at myself. "I know how stupid that sounds, after everything. After the way we treated you. But that’s the truth. That’s what I want."
I waited. I thought maybe I’d hear movement, or her voice, or even her angry words telling me to shut up. But there was nothing.
Still, I kept talking.
"Lisa, do you know what shocked me the most about you? It’s not your looks. It’s not the way you talk. It’s not even the way you fight us when you’re angry. It’s... It’s the way you don’t break. You’re not irritable. You’re not bitter, even when you should be. You don’t snap at us the way we’ve snapped at you. You’re not violent, even though you’ve had every reason to be."
I rubbed my hands over my face, my voice rough.
"That’s what kills me. You’re stronger than us. Stronger than me. Stronger than Kael and Rowan. Stronger than the monsters we’ve become."
I swallowed hard, my voice trembling.
"Do you know why we’re ? Why do we act like monsters?"
"It started long before you came. Long before any of this. It started with him. Our father."
The word tasted like poison in my mouth.
"He tortured us, Lisa. From the time we were babies. We weren’t his children. We were his tools. His experiments. His punching bags. We didn’t get hugs, or warmth, or love. We got pain. Every single day. And when we cried, he laughed. When we bled, he told us we were weak. When we tried to comfort each other, he tore us apart. So we grew hard. We grew cruel. Because that’s all we knew."
My eyes stung, but I forced myself to keep talking.
"I didn’t even know what kindness looked like until you showed up. And you..." My voice cracked. "You confused the hell out of me. You should have been broken. You should have begged. You should have cursed us and clawed at us. But you didn’t. You stood tall. You were quiet when we expected screams. You were calm when we expected fury. And somehow, you still look at the world like it’s not all bad. That... that messed with my head."
I exhaled deeply, pressing my palm against the door.
"You made me reflect, Lisa. On myself. On Kael. On Rowan. On the way we’ve lived. On the way we’ve treated you. You made me realize that we’re not just victims of our father anymore. We’ve become him. We became monsters. And that... that disgusts me."
I laughed bitterly under my breath.
"You know, I always thought there was no way out. That this was who I was. Who we were. But then I look at you, and I see something else. I see someone who’s been through hell, but hasn’t let it turn her into a monster. You don’t even realize how strong that makes you."
I leaned my head against the door, my eyes shut.
"Lisa... I don’t want to be my father anymore. I don’t want to be that monster. I want to change. I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if it’s even possible for me. But if I try, it’s because of you."
I let the silence stretch again, my chest rising and falling heavily.
"I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t expect you to like me. I just... I just want you to know the truth. That I don’t see you as weak. I see you as the strongest person I’ve ever met. And I want..." my voice broke, and I clenched my fists. "I want to be near that strength. Even if it’s only as your friend. Even if it’s only outside your door, talking to myself like an idiot."
I laughed quietly, shaking my head.
"I don’t know if you can hear me. Maybe you’re ignoring me. Maybe you’re asleep. But I’ll stay here. Just for a while."
I closed my eyes and leaned back, listening to the silence from the other side of the door, hoping for any sound, any sign that she heard me.
Her door creaked open slowly. I froze, my back still leaning against the wall.
Lisa stood there, her hair messy, her eyes swollen and red. She looked so small... so tired. My chest tightened seeing her like that.
"Come inside," she whispered, her voice shaky.
For a second, I thought I misheard her. I blinked. "Lisa..."
"I said Come inside," she repeated, moving aside a little.
I stood, nervous, and stepped into her room. It smelled faintly of lavender, though the air felt heavy from all the crying she must have done. She shut the door softly, not looking at me.
"Lisa..." I said again, but stopped when she turned her back, wrapping her arms around herself.
"Why are you here?" she asked in a low tone.
I swallowed. "Because I can’t stay away from you."
Her shoulders stiffened. "You should. You and your brothers should all stay away from me. You’ve all done enough damage."
"I know," I whispered. My throat hurt. "I know, Lisa. I’ve been horrible. We’ve all been horrible. But I don’t want to be like that anymore. Not with you."
She turned halfway, her eyes meeting mine for a second. They were so red, so full of pain. "Why?" she asked bitterly. "Why now? After everything?"