After so long, I finally am faced with the opportunity to meet and put an end to my parents’ murderer and I cannot say I am thrilled.
Not that I feel any less rage, quite the opposite, I am burning with fury at this person but I hate the situation that led to this point. I was ready to wait for the exams to hold and be over, if I had to, to not witness a raid that almost got my woman killed.
I swallowed, eyes fixed on the lady sleeping on the hospital bed before me. I had her moved to a better room with more comfortable beds and everything. Hazel looks so peaceful but I know she’s in pain. I can’t sleep. I don’t even want my eyes to be off her for even a minute.
The only time I’ll put my eyes to rest is when she’s awake along with every body else in this hospital roaming about in broad daylight and even then, I doubt fatigue will wash over me.
I let out a sigh. I have anticipated this moment for so long. Dreamt of it even. Dined on it. My rage has been left untethered for years, building up every second and now, it will finally be unleashed on the person well deserving it.
My eyes darkened as I look at both my palms, a hateful gaze. These hands have shed so much blood in the past. It is more than ready to shed more. I dip my hands in my pocket, shifting my gaze outside the window. Despite the windows being closed to let the air conditioning spread, the curtains are spread apart to let in the moonlight.
Hazel wanted to gaze at the stars before falling asleep, that’s why the curtains are this way. I stand up from the comfortable sofa I’m sat on and walk to the window.
My gaze peers on the stars. When I was younger, months after that tragic moment, I lost myself but I found solace gazing at the stars. Part of me wanted to believe that my parents were somewhere up there, dancing in each other’s company while watching us, Liam and I, their children, with a smile.
It was only as I grew older that I realised how stupid that thought was and so did the burn of the truth hurt more. It bled my soul till there was nothing but darkness and nothingness left.
The only source of light I had was my brother and the few people who were left to take care of me, not as their master, but as a child who lost the parents and needed love. People like Natalie.
My chest heaves as I inhale deeply, letting the air sink inside my lungs before exhaling.
It’s one of the reasons why I love that woman. Her love, sometimes tough, kept me going. Now, I am well aware that Natalie is against my decision to take revenge on my parents’ killer but for the first time, that is something I do not agree with. Something I can’t agree on even if the safety of the world depended on it.
A groan slid in my ears, causing me to turn back. It’s Hazel. She looks disturbed. I walk to her.
Her body moves uncomfortably in the duvet covers and her brows are creased. The discomfort of having a sore shoulder can be hectic, not to talk of a gunshot, but I think she’s having a bad dream. I let my fingers sink into her hair, threading slowly as I softly pat her. I hum a calm song.
“Sh, shh, shh, shh, little one. It’s just dream.” I cooe in a tiny whisper. Sometimes, outward talks can aid people have a stable control of their emotions and interfere with how they react to certain things, I hope this helps here in this case. I resume humming the song, patting her head softly. I won’t stop till her body becomes still and she’s no longer restless.
As long as she’s still breathing, I’m good with that. A smile forms on my lips.
My rage is not gone but it sure is tamed. I find myself controlling it because of her. My very own world.