I trudged home, thoroughly dejected, and Selina just laughed. Surprise, surprise.
“You thought you’d be able to use magic in just one day! Zoe, aren’t you being a bit stupid?”
It’s infuriating, but I still prepare our meal—because Selina’s cooking is absolutely revolting.
When I was a baby, I was perfectly content with just Mary’s milk. During my toddler years... there was that disgusting barley porridge... Ugh, I don’t even want to remember.
Back then, I dreaded mealtimes. My stomach would be growling, but the watery porridge would be full of lumps... Sometimes it was barely cooked through...
So when I finally became capable of cooking for myself, I was amazed—porridge can actually taste this good!
Selina wouldn’t get up one day, so I tried making porridge by watching and copying what I’d seen. There were still embers in the fireplace, so I managed it.
Ever since then, I’ve been doing all the cooking. Selina, who was terrible at it to begin with, was more than happy to step back and let me take over.
Making a six-year-old do housework would be considered child abuse back in my past life, you know!
I push down those protesting thoughts and get to work on dinner.
Tonight we’re having the Big Boar that Selina took down!
I imagined butchering something that big must be a real challenge... But Selina uses storage magic to efficiently separate her prey into meat, bones, hide, and most profitably, magic stones.
That’s definitely a magic I want to learn too! Though, honestly, I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to use magic at all.
“Selina, what if the magic seal you put on me as a baby hasn’t been properly released?” While asking this, I slice the chunk of Big Boar meat from the pantry into thin pieces.
“That’s impossible! I’m a great witch, after all. You’re just being slow.” She insults me while sprawled on the couch reading a book.
Sigh. I want to complain to whoever abandoned me on this doorstep—couldn’t you have left me with someone more decent?
But Selina is the one who raised an abandoned baby. So I dutifully sprinkle the appropriate amount of salt and heat the frying pan over the fireplace before cooking.
Dinner is Big Boar steak and the porridge I made this morning, reheated.
Usually, when I make porridge in the morning, we have porridge for lunch and dinner too.
Sometimes I add Mary’s milk to it, or instead of salt, I’ll use honey from the Killer Bees that Selina brings back. The honey is incredibly sweet and a rare treat that we hardly ever get.
“You’ll practice magic again tomorrow.” Selina tells me this while I’m cleaning up after dinner.
I actually have something to say about that. Just chanting magic spells blindly doesn’t seem like it’ll make me able to use magic.
“Selina, please teach me how to use magic properly.” I stand squarely in front of Selina and bow my head as I ask.
Selina just lays sprawled on the couch and snorts with laughter.
“Magic is something you learn through your own effort. Work hard for at least a month before you start complaining.”
Ugh... I bowed my head and asked because I don’t feel like I’ll ever be able to use magic at all!
“Selina’s being mean!”
I throw out that parting shot and dive into my bed. I was too angry to sleep, but somehow I fell sound asleep anyway.
✳︎
In my dream, I was back in my past life. I seem to be older than seven.
I’m surrounded by family, going to school every day.
How nice.
I long for a family. Selina raised me, but... she’s not my mother.
Mary gave me her milk... but of course I know a goat can’t be my mother. But she was warmer than Selina, and she never scolded me when I hugged her... When I was very young, she was like a substitute mother.
I think that’s a pretty tragic early childhood.
In my past life, I had parents and siblings—an older sister and a younger brother. And every single day, I spent my time singing.
Is that really okay?
Studying at school was supposed to be my job… but I wanted to live my life singing.
Maybe I’ll become a traveling bard?
The seal on my memories has only been released up to about age ten, so I don’t know if my past-life self managed to become what they called an “idol”—which seems to be some kind of traveling bard.
But I could tell that I was much more alive when playing an instrument called a piano at home, singing, and dancing than when studying at school.
There are so many songs over there!
The language is different from this world, but I’m happy there are so many songs.
I love singing too—songs I picked up from Selina’s humming.
Maybe it’s the influence of my sealed past life? I don’t really understand what an “idol” is, but... Selina mentioned that traveling bards exist in this world too, so maybe that would be good if I can’t become a witch.
Someday, I wanna go to a big town and hear a bard’s songs.
I want to gather medicinal herbs and use the money to buy an instrument! I want to hear a bard's songs!
Anyway… It probably wasn’t because I was distracted by unrelated thoughts in my dream, but I still couldn’t use magic.
What should I do? I chant magic every day, but not even a single twig will come to me.