Gavriel's heart melted at the feel of her gentle hand caressing him softly. But dread also rose within him at her question, like a serpent rising from the depths of its nest in fear. It also made his heart freeze and as though it were encased in ice at the same time. He could not help but feel worried and appalled, knowing that in telling her more about his secrets and revealing the truths that he wanted kept hidden would probably… but did not she already see it all and yet she is still here with him, holding him even closer than ever before! She even fully accepted him and gave her body to him!
The realization of these facts brought his guard down and the fire was melting him again. She did not fear him after all that she had seen, she did not run away in disgust by him, instead, she actually embraced him closer. When Evie was unconscious, Gavriel was plagued with the thought of how her reactions to him would be once she opened her eyes. Would she fear him again now that she saw that he was not just a bloodsucker but was also a monster? He had dreaded the outcome so badly, but surprisingly the opposite had happened. And that was why he was now drowning in a pool of pleasure and gladness and thanking every god there was in the heavens.
He had never talked about his inner monster to anyone else before. Not even to the late empress. But with her, Gavriel just felt that he could open up and bare his innermost self. Moreover, with all the things that had happened, and the absolute trust and faith that she had in him, Gavriel could no longer withhold anything from her.
His gaze fell to the window and stared unseeingly towards the breaking dawn.
"Yes." He finally answered.
He glanced at Evie, and she did not look surprised at all. But there was curiosity shining brightly in her eyes and the seemingly million questions that were in them.
"Was that some kind of…" Evie carefully said, "bad spirit possessing you?" she blinked. She tried to be as careful as possible when phrasing her words.
"Mother said it's a power bestowed to the royal family. All direct sons of the king possess it upon birth but only very few could awaken it. She said I was the first royal in the last three millennia who had successfully awakened this power. Though I personally wouldn't call it a power –" Gavriel's voice hardened, "for me, it's a monster. A monster who tries to control me and swallow me whole the moment I let my guard down."
"Does the poison work like a trigger to awaken it?" Evie asked patiently and Gavriel stared into her eyes, scrutinizing every expression on her face.
Gavriel shook his head and looked away again. "It sometimes happens when…" he cleared his throat, "when I am unfortunately caught in a desperate situation too. It sometimes just takes over before I even realize it has done it. I despise the fact that it has such power and control over me. But gladly, as I grew stronger, I was able to cage it down and now, it could only break free when I'm poisoned."
"When was the first time you awakened it? Was it when you were poisoned before?"
Gavriel's eyes went a little large at her question. How was it possible that she knew about this matter? It was not known even to those around him except for his loyal knights. "Zolan told me about it." Evie said and Gavriel sighed.
He hesitated to answer but when Evie resumed her gentle caresses across his back, Gavriel found himself speaking again.
"No." he answered. It nearly made him laugh, how easy it is to actually pull secrets out of him. All it takes was just a warm and gentle caress from his little wife and there he was, confessing everything as though the locks on his lips were broken. He was appalled and surprised at the same time to realize that Evie's power over him was even stronger than his monster. The reason being, Evie did not even need to force anything. One touch from her was all it took, and he would be a lost case.
"It happened when I was much younger. When I…" he paused in his recollection and Evie did not know why but she felt him turn a little rigid. No matter how he tried to act normal, Evie knew that a memory had disturbed him, and just the feel of his subconscious reactions made Evie understood that it might be some horrors that she could never even imagine. "It was when I was escaping out of the dungeon." He managed to say it in a calm voice.
Evie waited for a long while, silently stroking him with her angel touch until Gavriel relaxed in her arms again. While waiting, she braced herself to listen and accept what he would tell her no matter on how gory the facts were. She needed to be there for him. She now needed to be his pillar of strength as how he was for her.
"What happened?" she asked with a nearly inaudible voice. She knew it was hard for him to talk about it, but Evie wanted to know everything about him now. She wanted to listen to his secrets, everything that made him the wonderful person he is today. That made him into this individual that she had now fallen for and loves more than her life itself.
Gavriel shook his head, and she felt a shiver across his back. "Evie… I'm not certain if I should tell you… my past…" he shook his head again, "I don't want you to…" he trailed off at the sight of her gentle smile.
"I want to know…" she told him as she slipped her hand around his neck and slowly drew his head down to her shoulder. "I want to know everything about you Gavriel… no matter what kind of past you have, I want to understand you."
And he lost again, even though he knew what he was about to reveal to her would most probably disturb and revolt her.
"I was born and grew up under the earth Evie…"