Bei Sangyun was staring out of the window at the changing scenery, her face expressionless and her aura suffocating.
It was obvious she was angry.
Just a moment ago, she had been the happiest person in the world, believing that Fei Chuan had opened his heart to her and accepted her feelings.
All night, all she could think about was how their relationship would change from now on. She had been eagerly anticipating meeting Fei Chuan to talk about their feelings. She had imagined them becoming a couple like the lovers she saw on TV, getting closer to Fei Chuan as much as she desired.
But she hadn’t expected Fei Chuan to pretend that he didn’t remember any of it.
It would have been better if he had said he didn’t like the kiss. At least then she would know the problem was just the kiss. But for him to pretend it hadn’t happened meant that Fei Chuan regretted it.
He regretted kissing her.
That reality was so ruthless that it ignited Bei Sangyun’s temper.
She saw her frowning face reflected in the window.
Even when she was frowning like this, she was pretty. So why couldn’t Fei Chuan accept her?
Was she not pretty enough for his eyes?
"No," Bei Sangyun shook her head, dismissing that thought. Her looks were the best part of her, the part that had once tempted the young Fei Chuan. She should have confidence in them.
Bei Sangyun let out a heavy sigh.
After getting angry, she calmed down a little. She watched the greenery through the window and suddenly chuckled out of respite.
Just the night before, she had been willing to wait for Fei Chuan to like her, even if it took ten more years. She had been so determined that she was willing to keep her distance from him and be content with watching him from afar.
How had she gone from being patient, understanding, and non-pushy to getting angry because Fei Chuan regretted the kiss?
What had happened to her resolve?
Bei Sangyun slapped her own forehead, "I’m not a normal eighteen-year-old. How could I be so inconsistent and get angry so easily? Fei Chuan is eighteen, and it’s normal for him to be impulsive and change his mind."
She tried to convince the upset little heart in her chest to forgive Fei Chuan and stop being angry at him.
She should stop expressing her anger and return to her previous laid-back nature.
The bus journey finally ended.
On the plane, Bei Sangyun finally sat beside Fei Chuan, but her face remained cold.
Fei Chuan glanced at her briefly and then sat back stiffly. Both remained quiet, neither speaking.
The silence was deafening.
Fei Chuan sat next to the window, his mind constantly replaying scenes of what he should have said to make up for his mistake. He understood why Bei Sangyun was angry because he too was angry at himself.
He was the one who kissed her and said those shameless things. But he didn’t have the guts or conviction to face the consequences.
Fei Chuan had never acted so cowardly before. He could face any challenge and was confident in overcoming it. But in this situation, he didn’t know what to do.
Could he have said he remembered it? Then what would have happened afterwards? Was he prepared to be in a relationship with Bei Sangyun? Could he handle her?
Would he be okay once Bei Sangyun had finished having her fun and left him?
What if he was jumping into another hellish hole?
Fei Chuan’s mind was busy thinking, and he only snapped out of his daze when the pilot announced that the plane had landed.
They were already here? But he hadn’t spoken a word to Bei Sangyun yet.
Fei Chuan opened his mouth, but no words came out. He could only watch in regret as Bei Sangyun stood up from her seat and left.
*****
Fei Chuan arrived at the Fei mansion. Grandma Pei had been waiting for him and looked behind his back.
"You didn’t bring your friends? I told you to bring them here after the trip so they could have a hearty meal. I’ve prepared a lot of delicious food,"
Grandpa Pei was disappointed. She reminded Fei Chuan to bring his friends before he left.
It was very rare for the Young Master to spend his free time with his peers. The young master had never done such an activity before, and Grandma Pei was so happy for him that he finally had friends.
Actually, Grandma Pei wanted to bake a lot of snacks for Fei Chuan to bring on the trip and share with his friends, but Fei Chuan was against it. So Grandma Pei could only resort to inviting the Young Master’s friends to the house and treating them to a meal.
"They already ate."
"You did not tell them that a feast was waiting for them? Then how can we finish all this?" Grandma Pei sighed. She wanted to meet the Young Master’s friends, but this was also within her expectations.
The Young Master was withdrawn, and it would be a miracle for him to initiate an invitation. Still...
"You should have at least invited Bei Sangyun, that little girl."
Fei Chuan did not respond.
Grandma Pei finally noticed that something was wrong. The Young Master was always quiet with a nonchalant attitude, but this time, he looked so down and tired.
Something seemed to be weighing him down.
"What’s wrong?"
Fei Chuan shook his head, "...I am just tired. I will rest first. I will come down to eat later. You guys eat first."
Grandma Pei looked at him worriedly.
Fei Chuan was walking upstairs when he suddenly paused and asked, "Grandma, do you think someone like me can marry?"
Grandma Pei did not expect such a question, but she gave an enthusiastic reply, "Of course. Young Master is very handsome and popular. You’re smart, talented, and capable. I am sure there is a long line of women who will be willing to marry you."
"But I am someone who shouldn’t live past adulthood and die at a young age. Although I am healthier than before, you never know what might happen."
"Please don’t think that way, Young Master! The doctor said that there are no traces of illness in your system and that you miraculously healed on your own. It’s all in the past now. You have a long life ahead of you."
Fei Chuan was silent for a moment, then spoke in a weak voice, "But grandma, I don’t know how to love someone. What if I become like my father? Or my mother? All the people I met who loved and trusted other people more than themselves did not have a good ending."
Grandma Pei was stunned. For all the years she had been taking care of Fei Chuan, this was the first time that Fei Chuan had talked about his father and mother.
Grandma Pei thought of the past, and her eyes turned red. "They are not you. You won’t be like them. Nor will you turn out like them. Don’t make them an example or be the reason why you fear to trust and love other people."
Fei Chuan lowered his head and did not speak for a long time.
Grandma Pei looked at the Young Master, whom she had raised like her own son. This child rarely expresses his feelings or his thoughts.
For him to open up like this, he must be going through a hard time.
But this was something that he needed to overcome on his own. She could only guide him and give him support.
However, seeing him like this still breaks her heart.
She walked up to him upstairs and hugged him. "It’s normal to be afraid, Young Master. But I hope you won’t let your fear control you. I wish for you to be happy and not regret things because you have never tried."
Fei Chuan blinked, and his long lashes were slightly wet.
Bei Sangyun’s hurt expression was etched in his mind, and he felt like he had hurt her. It was actually more tormenting to see her that way than to see her angry.
He did not want to hurt her in that way but he did.
He felt bad, but he couldn’t do anything and let the fear consume him. Grandma’s words were what he needed at that moment.
Right, if he was regretting it because he never tried due to his fear, this might scar him forever.
So why not face it despite the possibility that it might end up badly?