"Zhilan, I’m not angry." He Teng’s tone was very serious, constantly emphasizing that he was not angry. "Just like you said, this is your life. I have no right to overstep and do what I think is best for you. It’s unfair to you, after all, you’ve grown up, you’re not a child, and you have your own reasons for your choices. Zhilan, since we’re divorced now, you should start your own life, after all, you’re still young."
"What do you mean by starting my own life? He Teng, do you just can’t wait to get out of my life, or you don’t want me in your life anymore?" He Zhilan changed her tone, questioning him with the identity of a wife, a woman.
"Is it because ever since we were little, I was always causing trouble in the He Family, always making you all angry, always disappointing you, so you feel tired and don’t want to tolerate me anymore?" He Zhilan shook her head lightly, "But I can change. I’ve been trying to change. He Teng, I know you doubt all my changes, so I’ve been extremely careful around you, trying my best to demonstrate my sincerity. I even carefully avoid making any jokes with you, fearing that it might spark your doubts."
"Are you tired? Are you constantly suppressing your true self when you’re with me?" The ’truest self’ that He Teng referred to wasn’t He Zhilan’s oblivion or mischief, rather her cautiousness that almost made her lose herself. She tread lightly with her laughter, every word she spoke, and even when they were intimate, fearing that any unintentional movement might give him a misunderstanding.
He Teng thought, He Zhilan was the most genuine when she was with her classmates, with Lin Chan and others.
A girl who could freely joke around with her classmates, calling other girls ’beauty’ at their age of reckless vigor, with him, was always prudently like...
Like, she was with him, only needing to follow his likes and dislikes.
Her compliance, her carefulness, he noticed and it hurt his heart.
"Compared to the fact that I loved you but you wouldn’t give me any response, that was nothing. Compared to now, when I want to be with you and you want to push me out of your world, that was simply a kind of happiness. At least, even though I was suppressing myself, I could still be with you."
He Zhilan asked herself in her heart about the answer to this question.
How could she be tired?
God knows, she treasured every minute, every second she could spend with He Teng. She didn’t want to make him angry or suspicious, so she tried her best to be the He Zhilan he liked, trying so hard until she thought that she was naturally a person who was accommodating and had no temper at all. She tried so hard that she even forgot that she once had a temper too.
"Therefore, we are not suitable."
After a while, He Teng finally spoke, sighing heavily, "Whether you’re He Zhilan or Gu Zhilan, our marriage was a mistake from the start. Be obedient, go home, and stop coming to the army to find me."
He Teng raised his hand and patted He Zhilan’s head, "Take good care of yourself in the capital. If Gu En bothers you again, call me. I’m your brother, I will definitely protect you with all my ability."
"What I want is not a brother, but you, as a husband." He Zhilan sobbed uncontrollably, "He Teng, after being married for so long, have you ever had feelings for me? Even a little?"