Around a minute or two of deliberation or preparation, Kanzaki opened her mouth to answer my question.
“This is for practice…”
“Practice for what? Kanzaki, you can ignore this but if you’re doing this for that guy, then you shouldn’t be the only one making an effort. A relationship shouldn’t be one-sided.”
Well, I could easily say yes and just accept things as is. However, that would be no different than what I was doing before; taking advantage of the situation.
At least, I had to draw a line first that I may or may not trespass. And that depends on Kanzaki’s reason and conviction.
“That… That’s not important to you, Onoda-kun. Right?” She pulled herself up and drew a sharp gaze. With her eyes looking as though she’s about to go into a battlefield, I could only interpret that as her determination to go through with this.
Furthermore, by bringing me here and locking the door, she’s willing to go up another step and ask for a practical lesson.
Kissing her, huh? I had high hopes before but after everything that happened, not anymore. The way I see it, it’s another desperate move from her.
Just how much is she willing to sacrifice for that guy? I mean, that’s admirable of her but… it’s truly such a waste to do so if the other party wouldn’t even appreciate it. Especially if he found out that Kanzaki asked for another guy’s guidance. It would hurt his fragile ego and possibly lash out at this girl if that ever happened.
Before responding to her, I intentionally drew my face closer to her and observed carefully. Without breaking our gaze, I reached for her shaky hands and clasped them on mine.
As soon as I did that, Kanzaki’s shoulders jumped but instead of pulling it away from my grasp, she inhaled another deep breath and remained firm.
“Yes, it is not. But you’re asking me for help. I deserve to know why you still needed a lesson. And from how you set this up, you wanted a practical one.”
“Can I hold off on telling you the reason? Just after the lesson…”
“I see. By holding it, you’re probably afraid that I won’t give you a lesson based on whatever reason that made you do this.”
“Kanzaki, you’re a diligent student. I admire you for that. Especially when you’re always getting straight to the point. But recently, you started becoming a little wishy-washy. The prime example is what’s happening right now… This is so not like you...”
I shook my head and put on a slightly disappointed expression on my face.
Upon seeing that, Kanzaki looked frightened but her courage took over again. “People can change, can they not? You yourself know that.”
“That’s correct. However, if you’re telling me that it was a change in you, then let me honestly say that it’s a downgrade of your character… Where is the diligent Class President that caught my eye during the first day of school?”
“I… just want to do things right.”
Do things right? For who? Or for what? It’s no good. Without hearing everything from her, I wouldn’t be able to decide.
“Alright. Be that as it may. But you’re aware that I already have a girlfriend, right? Are you asking me to cheat on her?”
“It will be a lesson, Onoda-kun. After we leave this room, whatever happens will be buried and you can act as if nothing happened.”
“That’s a great plausible excuse, Kanzaki. However, I’m someone who values honesty. And I tell you, my girlfriend doesn’t need to ask. I will tell her what happened myself.”
Although I refer to ‘my girlfriend’ as singular, I was definitely talking about all of them. Not just Akane, Kana or Satsuki.
As we went deeper into this conversation, Kanzaki’s resolve or determination or whatever’s keeping up this pretense was gradually crumbling.
And now, the girl lowered her head. She’s in low spirits. A little more and she would probably give up and escape.
After contemplating for another half a minute, the light in her eyes had renewed vigor as she met my gaze. She dragged my hands up and pressed my palms on her cheeks, letting me hold her head in place.
As my fingers slowly crept towards the back of her ears and our faces gradually grew closer, Kanzaki uttered a question; half pleading, half inquiring.
“What do you want me to do, Onoda-kun?”
Honesty. I could make assumptions as to what’s driving her to do this but still, I wanted to hear her honest thoughts.
That was the case with Otsuka-senpai. That girl was coming onto me, barefaced and devoid of lies. Ishida-senpai was the same case last week. Although she failed to give a final answer back then, her actions yesterday translated to it. The most update n0vels are published on novel·fıre·net
Then there’s also Yue. The girl returned to me without hiding anything. Even though I expected her to resent me, her honest thoughts all pointed to wanting to be with me again.
And that’s why I managed to face them with the same level of honesty.
“D-do you really want to know?”
With our faces this close together, it’s an easy task for her to do it herself. But I guess the girl wanted me to give her a proper lesson. And perhaps, she’s afraid that if she took the initiative then I would pull away and everything would end.
I didn’t give her an answer to that question and just continued looking at her. This time, I’m the one who invoked the ‘silence means yes’.
A few seconds later, Kanzaki sighed. Her hot breath brushed over my face but with her fragrance filling up my nose, I could honestly say that the interest I had in her that I buried after that lesson in the library was resurfacing.
However, since we’re already at this point, I wouldn’t ruin what I did to bring her to this critical moment.
Will she tell me honestly or not? What reason does she have for asking for another lesson? Is it really for her ex who’s asking for another chance or there’s another reason?
I could list more questions that piled up in my mind but those were the most important things.
Kanzaki’s hand stopped pressing mine on her face and before my eyes, she reached for my shoulder. Lowering her head a bit, our foreheads touched.
Her glasses that were just clear earlier had already fogged up. A few breaths later, she closed her eyes and opened the dam containing what was really on her mind.
“I’m not doing this for him… This is entirely for myself. To make sure that when the time comes, I won’t be at a loss on what to do…” The girl started. Her eyes remained close but with our faces already close together, her lips were already slightly brushing on mine when she started speaking.
However, she probably hadn’t that as she continued letting everything flow out of her chest.
“… I cannot ask anyone but you, Onoda-kun. You’re experienced and already offered it to me once. Who’s the better teacher for it if not you? Furthermore, apart from you and my… ex, I’m not close to anyone. You can see this as me selfishly asking you to cheat but Onoda-kun, I won’t cling to you. The lesson will not have any meaning. Of course, as payment for it, you can ask me to do anything you want…”
After saying all those, Kanzaki started panting for breath. But it was at this point that she noticed. Her lips pressed on mine.