Thats all I have to say.
After she was done talking, she gave out a long sigh and smiled a little using her pale red lips.
It must have been a painful story to recall but perhaps there is satisfaction in finally being able to tell a secret that you cant tell anyone.
Okay, so, can you listen to me next?
Of course, what is it?
Ill ask you once again, will you marry me?
Were you even listening, Takeru-dono!
Sensei is seriously agitated for the first time in a long time.
I dont want her to get angry.
Then, let me ask you something, do you actually consider yourself as a man?
No, I dont think that Im a man given my body.
Then, why dont we get married?
No no no no! Thats not what I mean!
Even I will get hurt if you reject me like that.
No, I mean, I didnt reject you..before talking about that, Takeru-dono, have you ever heard of the furukisha called androgynous?
Ah, I have.
I dont know if its the same as my world or not but its a creature with two heads, four arms, and four legs. It is basically a man and a woman attached to each other back to back.
Supposed someone were to see my body, I would be treated as a demon. I say Im a man even though my body looks like a womans because I dont want to be courted. However, my gender cant be said to be a man or a woman. I cant even be categorized as a human. What am I even saying..ugh
Sensei wiped away the tears in her eyes with her tender hands.
Youve been sighing a lot since a while ago. Well, this is probably the first time she has shown me so much honest emotion so this is also precious.
Then, sensei, lets me ask you another thing, when you pee, do you do it while standing up, or sitting down?
Peeing?....sitting down.
Then, theres no problem.
No no no no no no no! You dont understand!
I dont care if Lyle-sensei is a man, a woman, a demon or something else. Ill court you, thats it.
I am often surprised by what Takeru-dono says but this time, I dont even know what to say!
Sensei is pouting repeatedly. She doesnt even know if shes going to be angry or sad.
What should I say?
Sensei, Ive already done it.with a demon. Im also familiar with a furukisha whose lower body is a number of tentacles. You said youre a monster because you have both but that wont stop me from courting you.
Takeru-dono, even if you say that, you will never know how much I suffered because of this body of mine.
I wont know that until you tell me. Im willing to spend my lifetime trying to figure it out.
I was somewhat satisfied because I saw something very unusual. Sensei wasnt able to come up with a response.
Sensei is a knowledge cheat when it comes to public matters but when it comes to private matters, she can be very weak.
I firmly looked into senseis brown eyes and never removed my gaze from her.
Finally, I was able to deeply touch sensei. I held her hand and I dont plan on letting it go.
Even so, you shouldnt like me.
So, I shouldnt like you? Isnt your body the only problem? Maybe we can do something about it using magic or something.
Do you think I never thought of that!? You can cut it or remove it but if you use a healing potion, it will be restored. Theres also forbidden magic that recombines the factors themselves but thats too dangerous. I was born broken from the start so I dont want to break my body anymore!
Sensei said that in a single breath as if she was letting out something that had built up and then, she turned her face down.
I thought for a moment then, carefully chose my words, and replied.
In other words, you hate yourself but you also accept yourself.
Im just giving up. There are some things we have to accept in order to survive. There will be more or less of that in all humanity and Im not the only one suffering. Its just that I have to bear the karma even if its unreasonable.
Then, let me accept it too. Let me embrace all of you.
Takeru-dono, youre taking it too lightly. Not only my body but my mind is also distorted so you shouldnt embrace it.
Im not straightforward myself so Ill use any means necessary.
Then, lets use my trump card.