As the sun sank below the horizon, Lily sat on the balcony of Ethan’s apartment and gazed at the metropolitan cityscape. She hardly saw the sky painted in warm shades of orange and purple. The maelstrom of emotions that had been building inside her since that night at the warehouse had become far too entangled in her head.
Carlisle had left. He was losing his kingdom. Everyone kept insisting the battle was done.
Lily, however, was wiser.
The injuries were more than merely physical. The scars were deeper than shattered bones or bruises. She had lost faith in herself as well as in other people.
She felt the warmth creep into her skin as she brushed her fingertips over the lip of her coffee mug. It was a minor solace, one of the few she had recently given herself.
The glass door behind her swung open, and before she saw Ethan, she heard his footfall. Although he was still in pain from his wounds, he walked cautiously and his presence was unwavering.
He came to a halt next to her and put his hands on the railing. "You’ve been silent," he said.
Without glancing at him, Lily sighed. "I’m thinking a lot right now."
Ethan gave a hesitant nod. "I assumed."
The distant bustle of the city below was the only sound to break the lengthy quiet between them.
Then, a bit later, Ethan spoke once more. "Do you feel bad about it?"
Lily’s fingers gripped her cup more tightly. "What do you regret?"
"Everything." There was something wounded behind the quietness of his voice. "Retaliating with combat." Remaining with us
At last, Lily looked up at him. His azure eyes were fixed on hers, looking, anticipating.
Was that anything she regretted?
She had been on the verge of death. She had almost lost him. She wasn’t certain she could ever reverse the decisions she had been compelled to make.
Did she regret it, though?
Lily let out a slow breath. At last, she responded, "No." "I have no regrets about fighting. I have no regrets about remaining.
Ethan’s mouth tightened. "And us?"
Lily paused.
She was afraid of the answer, not because she didn’t know it.
In the past, it had been simple to trust Ethan. When she felt protected and that she wasn’t alone in the world because of the way he looked at her.
Then, however, secrets were exposed. The lies had been revealed. They had been battling more than just Carlisle.
She had been struggling with herself.
She remarked softly, "Trust cannot be restored overnight."
She noticed the glimmer of emotion in Ethan’s eyes, but his face remained unchanged. "I understand."
She looked down at her hands and said, "I want to trust you." "I genuinely do. I don’t know how to just ignore it, though, since I can’t stop thinking about all that happened and the times I questioned you.
Ethan breathed out slowly. "You need not forget."
Lily gave him a quick look.
He went on, "You don’t have to forget what happened." "You’re not even required to pardon me immediately. However, I want you to know that I truly mean it when I say I will never allow anything to happen to you again.
Lily took a deep breath. "What happens if I choose not to be protected?"
Ethan’s mouth moved a little. "That’s terrible."
Lily gave a little giggle, but it was gone as fast as it appeared.
Ethan stepped closer and continued, "Jokes aside, I know I made mistakes." I am aware that I disappointed you. However, I want you to know that I did everything I did—even the things I wish I could go back and change—in order to protect you.
Lily looked at him for a long time, looking for any sign of dishonesty.
However, there was none.
It had never been Ethan’s style to say things to cheer her up. Now, if he was saying this, it was with genuine intent.
Even still, previous wounds were difficult to repair.
She said, "I want to believe you." "But I need time,"
As though he had anticipated it, Ethan nodded. "Take as much time as you require."
They were silent for a little longer, but this time there was less strain. It was lighter, containing an unstated but pleasant substance.
Then Ethan said again as Lily turned back to the vista of the city.
"Are you still in love with me?"
She felt a shock of surprise at the inquiry.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Did she?
Everything between them was too damaged to mend, she had convinced herself. That their love had been stolen along with the trust they had lost.
However, sitting here with him so near, his eyes full of silent vulnerability—
She came to a realization.
Just because it hurt didn’t mean that love vanished.
It had been the simplest thing in the world to love Ethan.
Perhaps it was the reason it frightened her so much.
She said, "I don’t know how to stop."
Ethan took a deep breath.
Then he grabbed her hand before she could utter another word. He didn’t try to push anything or hold on to it strongly. He just held it, making soft circles with his thumb on her skin.
Lily felt pain in her chest.
Perhaps confidence could not be restored in a single instant.
However, this?
This was a beginning.
Later in the evening
Lily was lying in bed, gazing up at the ceiling as she could hear Ethan breathing steadily next to her. Even though they weren’t in contact, she felt grounded by his presence.
She wasn’t thinking about the past for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. The ghosts that still lurked in the dark and the wars they had waged were not on her mind.
Tomorrow was on her mind.
She had the future on her mind.
And perhaps, just possibly, she was willing to accept that they could have one.