Lily’s hands were clenched together as she perched on the side of Ethan’s bed. All day long, the weight in her chest had been increasing and pushing down on her like an unmoving boulder.
She believed that everything would be simpler when Carlisle was overthrown, the gunshots had subsided, and the world had finally calmed down.
Rather, though, she felt heavier.
The distance between them felt unnaturally large, even though Ethan had hardly left her side.
Decisions have to be made.
Furthermore, she wasn’t certain which would shatter her the most.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bathroom’s water switching off. After a short while, Ethan emerged with a towel over his neck. His muscles were strained from the stress that never seemed to go away, and his damp hair was ruffled. His piercing gaze instantly focused on her, a look of worry flashing across his face.
His voice was firm but low as he replied, "You’ve been quiet all day."
Lily forced herself to look into his eyes and gulped. "I’ve just been contemplating."
Ethan sat next to her, a reassuring yet unsettling presence. She didn’t step away as his shoulder touched hers. "What are you thinking about?"
Unsure of how to express it, she paused. "What’s going on now."
A shadow swept over his face. With a groan, he massaged his jaw. "That was what I was afraid of."
Lily scowled. "What are you afraid of?"
Ethan put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. "That you would understand that you still have a chance." that you are not required to remain.
His remarks were like a kick to the stomach.
She began, "Ethan," but he shook his head.
His voice was harsh as he continued, "I wouldn’t blame you." "I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave after everything I’ve done to you and everything that’s happened."
Anger and a deeper sensation in her chest caused Lily to tighten her fists. "You believe I’d simply go?"
He clenched his jaw. "Would you not?"
There was silence between them.
Would she?
She recalled the relief that had washed over her when Carlisle had been hauled away in handcuffs. However, alleviation did not equate to tranquility.
Although Carlisle was no longer with us, his wounds remained.
Ethan, too...
She wasn’t sure how to handle the maelstrom that was Ethan.
However, wasn’t that the issue?
The decision had already been made in her heart.
Whether she had the courage to pursue it was the true question.
Lily took a long breath and centered herself. "Ethan, I’m not sure what will happen next. I don’t know everything. However, I am certain that I no longer desire to run.
With his blue eyes searching hers, Ethan turned to face her. "What are you saying, then?"
She looked him in the eye, hoping he would comprehend. "I’m claiming to be here. I also have no intention of leaving.
Something inscrutable flickered over Ethan’s face as he breathed. Then he reached out and inserted his fingers through hers before she could respond.
He held on tight as if he was worried she would break free.
"Are you certain?" He whispered.
Lily squeezed his hand. "If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t say it."
Ethan let out a sigh that sounded like relaxation for the first time in days.
She was aware that this was just the beginning, despite the fact that their tension was decreasing.
Because remaining would require them to confront what they had been avoiding.
And that?
Of all the choices, that was the most difficult.
Later in the evening
With the city spread out below her like a sea of lights, Lily stood on the balcony. She closed her eyes and let the silence descend upon her. The air was clear and smelled like rain.
Before he could say anything, she felt Ethan take a step behind her.
"Are you alright?"
She let out a sigh. "I’m not sure."
Ethan watched her intently, leaning against the railing. "Speak to me."
She paused, gazing at the horizon. "Have you ever questioned whether we’re merely putting ourselves in danger?"
Ethan was silent for a while. "Daily as hell."
Lily turned to face him, taken aback by his candor.
With a hand through his hair, he let out a breath. "Lily, just because you love someone doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. It simply means you need to determine whether the risk is worth it.
Her throat constricted. "And you believe we’re worthwhile?"
Ethan didn’t think twice. "I am certain that we are."
Her spine tingled at the confidence in his words.
Due to her wanting to believe him.
She wished to trust him, God.
Lily’s heart was racing as she bit her lip. "Ethan... I’m afraid.
His face grew softer. "I understand."
She gave a headshake. "What if we break up once more?"
Reaching for her, Ethan tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. His hand was soft and comforting.
Then, he said, "We fight for it." "We defend one another."
Lily took a deep breath.
Because she secretly knew—
It was this.
This was the decision.
She had already arrived.
She moved forward slowly, bridging the gap between them.
Ethan remained still, staring into her eyes, and waited for her to go.
However, she didn’t.
Rather, she stood up on her toes, her lips brushing his in a tentative, gentle kiss.
Ethan’s hands tightened around her waist as he took a deep breath. Then, without warning—
There was no longer any hesitation.
Slowly but intensely, the kiss grew deeper, as though they were relearning how to kiss and attempting to make up for all the time they had lost.
Ethan pressed his forehead to hers when they eventually withdrew.
"Are you certain about this?" he muttered.
Lily exhaled nervously. "I’m positive."
Ethan kept his fingers around her waist, his warmth bringing her back to the present. Up here, it seemed as though they were alone, standing on the precipice of something delicate but indestructible, while the city below them was teeming with activity.
Lily touched his chest and felt his heartbeat, which was steady. "This time," she said, "we don’t let fear dictate our decisions."
With a kind grin, Ethan touched her face with his thumb. "No, we don’t."
And she wasn’t running for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
Where she was supposed to be, she was.