She was looking forward to seeing Su Muran establishing herself as the “Box Office Poison”, and how much the Su Family would have to pay to clean up her mess.
“Mom, I’m planning to make a trip back home,” Yan Huan said to Ye Shuyun as she drank a mouthful of soup.
“A trip back home, huh? Is it…that place?” asked Ye Shuyun, filling her another bowl of soup.
“Yes,” nodded Yan Huan, starting on the soup. “I want to pack some things, and bring someone over.” Though she didn’t plan on staying there, where Lu Yi’s shadows could be found everywhere. She feared she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not yet.
“Do you need any help?” ventured Ye Shuyun, hoping that Yan Huan would take someone along with her.
“It’s fine, Mom. I’ll be fine alone. There isn’t much stuff to carry,” Yan Huan wasn’t moving houses, so she didn’t actually need help. She wasn’t planning on touching anything there. She just wanted a look. Also, she needed to bring Aunt Gu over to her new place. Aunt Gu was the nanny hired by Yan Huan, who she had grown accustomed to addressing as Aunt Gu.
“Alright then,” said Ye Shuyun. Knowing that Yan Huan was willing to live properly was enough to put her at ease.
Yi Ling came over just after they finished dinner, which saved Yan Huan from the effort of driving herself. Ye Shuyun was worried about letting Yan Huan drive too, in fear that she might run into an accident if she felt ill halfway. Yi Ling’s arrival had allayed much of her worries, since the trip was bound to be safer with her as the driver.
“Not with Little Lei today?” asked Yan Huan as she fastened her seatbelt.
“He’s with Lei Qingyi’s mother. I’ll bring him over in a few days. He’s always asking about his Aunt Yan. Aunt Yan hasn’t come to see me in a long time! Aunt Yan hasn’t bought me tasty snacks in a long while! Aunt Yan hasn’t played with me in forever!”
Yan Huan had to smile. What a clever child. What he missed wasn’t his aunt, but the things his aunt brought along during her visits.
“Huanhuan, I…” Yi Ling’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. She didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. For the first time, she felt as though her mouth weren’t hers. There were some things that were harder to say than she ever imagined.
“I know what you are trying to say, so you don’t have to say it,” said Yan Huan, her eyelashes drooping as she turned the ring on her left ring finger. “It wasn’t your fault, or anyone’s. It was destiny.”
Yes, destiny. Her destiny. Lu Yi had shouldered all the consequences that were meant to befall on her. Lu Yi had lived to old age during her past life. She had spoken too much, revealed too much. It was all her fault. Lu Yi had died to save her.
“Huanhuan…” Yi Ling tried to say something, but Yan Huan shook her hand at her.
“I’m sorry, Yiyi, but can we not talk about this?”
She didn’t want any part in this conversation, because her wounds gaped and stung whenever someone mentioned that name.
It was more than she could endure, she had to admit.
Blinking away tears, Yi Ling stepped on the gas and drove on.
“How do I make it up to Yan Huan?” she remembered asking Lei Qingyi.
“There are some things you can never make up for. You can’t give her another Lu Yi.”
What they could do was live. Live and protect her with all they had.
That’s why Yi Ling returned to Lin Lang. Only the ones with power can protect the ones who they wanted to protect.
Yan Huan found her keys and opened the door. There wasn’t much dust in the room. Aunt Gu had been dutiful with her chores even during their absence, ridding the room of even a speck of dust.
Putting her things down, Yan Huan walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was nothing inside, apart from spoiled food.
“Yiyi, would you buy some prawns for me? I want to make dumplings,” she said to Yi Ling.
“Right away,” said Yi Ling, preparing to go out. Yan Huan rolled up her sleeves and began to work on the dumpling skins.
When Yi Ling returned with prawns, meat, and a variety of other ingredients, Yan Huan squat down to remove the intestines and shells from the prawns.
These had been Lu Yi’s favorite dumplings. A pity he would never get to taste them again.
When the dumplings were down, she set aside a plate for Yi Ling and put the rest in an insulated lunch box.
She then opened the door and headed out.
“Where are you going, Huanhuan?” Yi Ling got up quickly. Why was she leaving in such a hurry? Wasn’t she going to eat with her?
“I’m paying Lu Yi a visit,” said Yan Huan as she slipped into her shoes, holding the lunchbox in her arms.
“I’ll come with you,” Yi Ling quickly grabbed for the keys, leaving the dumplings untouched.
“It’s okay. I need some time alone,” said Yan Huan. The lunchbox wasn’t very heavy, but her skinny arms had trouble bearing its weight. She hadn’t gained much weight, and was at most 40kg at the moment. She was so pitifully thin it felt as if she was going to melt in the rain.
Yi Ling stood still with her car keys in hand, feeling awful. She then walked back to the table, sat down, and began eating the dumplings. They tasted the same as before, but somehow she found them hard to swallow.
Yan Huan alighted the bus, arriving at the place of Lu Yi’s eternal slumber. Eternal slumber wasn’t the most fitting words either, since this wasn’t the place where his body or ashes were buried, but some of his clothing and personal belongings instead.
There wasn’t anyone else in the cemetery. The wind that carried a macabre air rushed at her from every angle. Even on a sunny day, this place was always cold.
Everyone has visited this place before, and this was where they would have their eternal slumber someday. At first, there would be people coming to visit them, but eventually, the visitors would stop coming. People live, age, and die. When a person dies, it’s like a lamp going out.
She walked to Lu Yi’s gravestone and dusted it, before sitting down and setting the lunchbox on her lap.
“I have brought you hand-made dumplings. You used to love them, remember?”