Yin Xingyue initially didn’t like Grandma.
That was when her father had just passed away and her mother sent her back to the countryside.
She thought Grandma was old and ugly, and even disliked her for being a girl.
She clearly remembered that back then Grandma often sighed and said, "If only you were a boy..."
But she didn’t know from when she started to like Grandma.
Maybe it was when she wanted to eat chicken, in the deep winter when it was bitterly cold, and Grandma got up early to kill a chicken for her...
Maybe it was when she wanted a ballpoint pen, and on a rainy day, struggling through the muddy path, Grandma went to town to buy her a pen, even though she brought back a pencil instead...
Maybe it was when she was crying and making a fuss, Grandma never got angry but just used her coarse hands to gently caress her cheeks while smiling...
Maybe it was in the summer, lying next to her, Grandma closed her eyes and gently fanned her with a hand fan...
Yin Xingyue did not answer Grandma’s question, and Grandma did not ask again.
They went to the town together, and as usual, Grandma went to sell stuff at the recycling station.
But, unlike usual, she did not hurriedly drag the small cart back home.
Instead, she went to a shop in the town and bought a hair accessory.
It was an old-fashioned hairband, black, twisted out of wire, with no decorations whatsoever.
Grandma put the hairband on her head and asked Yin Xingyue while smiling,
"Does this look neat?"
"Grandma looks beautiful," Yin Xingyue happily said.
Grandma chuckled and said, "An old woman like me, what’s there to look beautiful for?"
Then, she took Yin Xingyue’s hand and went to the neighboring toy store, where she bought her butterfly wings that could be worn on her back.
She chose the biggest and most beautiful ones, which naturally were also the most expensive.
She pulled out an old handkerchief from her pocket, counted the scattered coins for several minutes, then finally paid the money.
"Grandma, do you remember?" Yin Xingyue holding the butterfly wings, felt a sourness in her eyes.
Besides stationery and food, Grandma rarely bought her toys, thinking they were useless and would ultimately be thrown away, just a waste of money. Follow current novᴇls on 𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹~𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓮~𝚗𝚎𝚝
Her favorite saying was, what’s eaten into the stomach, that’s truly yours.
The last time, she wanted Grandma to buy her butterfly wings because she saw a village child with a beautiful pair.
But Grandma always said next time, next time I’ll buy it for you...
And then there was no next time.
Yin Xingyue really wanted to tell Grandma that she did not like it anymore, that she had grown up, no longer a little girl.
But— but for some reason, she was still a bit happy.
On the way back, Grandma helped her put it on her back.
"Very beautiful, like a little fairy," Grandma said cheerfully.
"Grandma, I’m dead now, I’m a ghost, not a fairy," Yin Xinyue said.
Grandma fell silent upon hearing this, and it took a while before she said, "But I feel like you are still alive, there’s no sign of being dead, did your mom lie to me?"
Yin Xingyue shook her head, then started to tell her about Shen Siyuan.
"So, you’ve met a master."
Grandma was very happy for Yin Xingyue.
"Then you should really thank him properly," Grandma upon hearing, further inquired about the master’s name and where he lived.
Yin Xingyue treated it as a casual chat with Grandma, so she told her.
About two weeks later, one day when Shen Siyuan came home from work, he saw a note on the door, saying someone was looking for him at the community guardhouse.
So he met the old woman, who had arrived in the morning and waited until he got off work. She was carrying a cleanly slaughtered chicken, a basket of eggs, and some loose change wrapped in a handkerchief, along with butterfly wings.
It’s unclear how she managed to find these items or how she carried them over...
But that’s a story for another time, let’s leave it at that.
Throughout, Grandma never asked Yin Xingyue why she tried to commit suicide.
Instead, it was Yin Xingyue who couldn’t help herself and asked Grandma why she didn’t ask?
Grandma said, "When people are alive, they often encounter obstacles that are hard to overcome. When I was young, I often thought about dying too, but as an adult, I just gritted my teeth and got through it. But you are still a child, it’s normal to feel unable to get past it..."
Upon hearing this, Yin Xingyue burst into uncontrollable tears.
She hadn’t cried in a very long time.
Grandma caressed her cheeks with rough hands, wiping away her tears.
With tears blurring her eyes, she said, "What I regret most is handing you over to your mom. She’s your mom; she should have helped you get through it..."
"I didn’t want to either..."
"Mom, was my dad really in the underworld before?"
Seeing her dad had gone into the kitchen, Zhu Tingting quietly asked her mom.
Du Xiuzhi pulled her daughter into her arms and stroked her hair, softly saying, "Don’t listen to outsiders talking nonsense, your dad was very honest when he was young."
"Are you talking about the tattoos on your dad’s arm?"
Du Xiuzhi turned her daughter around, looking her in the eyes.
Zhu Tingting obediently nodded her head.
"That was to protect me, he intentionally got those tattoos. I guess he must have been crying a lot at the time, your dad used to cry a lot when he was young, crying at the drop of a hat..."
Zhu Tingting’s eyes widened in disbelief.
Du Xiuzhi started recounting past events with a smile.
"It was me, I was your dad’s neighbor, and I did well in school, while your dad was a bit of a dolt, dropped out in middle school to work..."
"He earned money from work and often bought me stuff..."
"Then later, some accidents happened in my family, your grandparents passed away, and when the relatives saw I was just a little girl, they thought I was easy to bully, they came one by one, making trouble at my doorstep..."
"Your dad protected me, argued with them, made a scene with them..."
"To make them scared, he got tattoos, dyed his hair, wielded a knife, cried and slashed, scaring all those relatives away..."
"Later your dad was arrested by the police, spent a few months in custody, but before being caught, he threatened those relatives that if they ever bullied me again, he’d come out and kill their whole family..."
"After that, no one dared to come bother me again..."
"Wow, dad is so awesome."
Zhu Tingting’s eyes widened, never feeling so admiring of her father.
"So, you see, you can’t be too weak, or you’ll be bullied. First, you need to learn to be strong yourself, some things, don’t hide them from the people closest to you, face them together, solve the problems, you’re still a child..."
Du Xiuzhi lightly tapped on her nose, hinting at something.
"What... what happened later?"
"Later... your dad kept working, I continued my schooling, and after I graduated, we got married, then we had you..."
Du Xiuzhi’s lips curled into a smile, lost in memories.
Zhu Guangfa came out from the kitchen and saw the mother and daughter laughing happily.
Suspiciously, he said, "Hope you’re not talking bad about me?"
"Mom said you were a crybaby when you were young."
"How could you say that to her? Don’t I have any dignity?" Zhu Guangfa complained.
The laughter of mother and daughter grew even louder.