Lyla
I'm sure if Nathan had told me he was an alien, a vampire, or even some wizard and had magically produced a wand and was waving it at me, it wouldn't have been as shocking as what he was asking me to do.
I stared at him, with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. The words he'd just spoken suspended between us like bad breath.
"You're asking me to do WHAT?" I demanded, my voice rising with the sheer ridiculousness.
He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "We would do anything to be with each other right? Isn't that what this is all about? I want to be with you and I'm trying to suggest…"
"To suggest?" I repeated staring at him. "What exactly do you take me for, Nathan? Some kind of baby-making machine? Is that all I am you? Do you think the solution to all our problems is for me to get pregnant? I don't even know who I am anymore, Nathan. My identity is in a mess, it's jumbled…"
"Lyla, just listen…"
"NO!" I thundered pointing my index finger at him. "You listen! One minute, my mother – the woman whom I've called mother all my life was rejecting me telling me that I destroyed her family and her home and I was a child born out of wedlock. The next, another group of deranged men or Alphas or whatever it is telling me that I am a murderer and you're here asking me to get pregnant? Are you okay?"
"Stop being sentimental for once in your life, Lyla. You're an adult…"
"And so, I get an automatic pass into swallowing down surprises like this? Realizing that everybody around me has lied and has been lying to me all my life. Do you think this is the way I've envisioned my future? To be stopped from getting married on my supposed wedding day?"
"Lyla, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING…" Nathan growled. His eyes were flashing with irritation and anger.
"Oh, I'm listening, perfectly well!" I cut him off, I was shouting now. "What I can't understand you is why you're dragging an innocent child into this mess. Have you completely lost it?"
He took in a deep breath, waving his hand placatingly at me. "If you'd just let me explain," he sighed. There was desperation and exhaustion on his face. "If there's a baby – our baby before the coronation, I can reject Clarissa. I can marry you instead. No one will question it and we can be together. It's the perfect solution…"
For a moment, the room became quiet except for the rapid beat of my pounding heart in my ears and then Nathan's filled with agitation. Then, I doubled as laughter bubbled up my throat. It was loud and bitter echoing off the walls of the room. I laughed until tears gathered in the corners of my eyes but there was no atom of humor in the sound.
Nathan just stood there staring at me in exasperation.
"Perfect solution?" I repeatedly mockingly. "So, I just pop out a child and boom, all our problems disappear."
His jaw tightened with frustration. "It's not like that, Lyla. I am not trying to use the baby as a means to an end but I love you that much and this is the only way to fix everything. This is the only way we can be together, please my love."
"To fix your problems," I spat. "You want me to take responsibility for your decisions and carry it on my shoulders because I want to be your mate? Your Luna? And for what? To be your loophole? I won't repeat Nanny's mistakes, Nathan. I refuse to become just another Alpha's baby mama."
He flinched but continued. "This isn't just about me! It's about us. About protecting what we have."
"What do we have, Nathan?" I snapped. "I agree you've been a good friend, you even stayed in the dungeon for four years for me and I am eternally grateful for this. But have you thought about all the people that might be hurt if we make that decision?"
"How about you put yourself first, Lyla? Everyone does that and has been doing it. You're not a messiah?"
"Clarissa is my sister!" I yelled. "We might not see eye to eye on a lot of things but I know pretty well that this would mean so much to her. Besides, your dad doesn't like me, no one is in support of our joining. I've had enough drama in my life already, I'm too old to start being in another one."
"For Moon's sake, Lyla!" he cried with anguish. "Why can't you see reason? Clarissa is a beautiful woman, I'm sure a lot of men would die to have her. I am trying to protect what we have. This is the only way…"
I shook my head. "No, Nathan. This isn't right. This isn't about us and this is not the only way. This is about you. You're slowly morphing into Ramsey and you don't even see it."
His brows clouded with annoyance. "No, I'm not!"
"Yes, you are. You've turned into the very thing you once swore you'd never become. I am not property to be owned. You're treating me like a pawn in your grand Alpha game. If you can't have me then no one else should. I won't stand for it."
He quietened for a few seconds before he came to me, reaching for my hand. "Lyla, don't do this. I'm trying to protect you, to give us a chance. Please my darling."
"Protect me?" I scoffed as tears burned in my eyes. "By trapping me? By reducing me to nothing more than the mother of your child? People will remember me as the woman who trapped her sister's mate with a baby. I can kill all the Ferals in the world for all they care but that's the only thing I would be known for."
"We can tell the back story. We were meant to be together at first…"
"NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT BACKSTORIES!" I yelled, louder than I intended. "I am not a desperate woman, willing to trap a man with a baby. I will not become another Nanny. I deserve better. I deserve respect and it's about time you all started respecting me for who I am not what you want me to be!"
Nathan opened his mouth to argue, but I raised my hand to stop him.
"Whatever we had, it's over. I'm done."
With trembling fingers, I pulled off my engagement ring. The diamond caught the light one last time. I tried handing it to him but he won't take it. So, I walked towards him and shoved the ring into the breast pocket of his ceremonial attire for the wedding.