THE SOFT feeling of the cushions under me is so heavenly. It’s making me want to sleep some more but my morning breath is beginning to tell a different story.
I open my eyes, immediately feeling the unnatural sense of difference. What happened last night? I don’t remember a thing except for the panic attack and Lucas driving us to his place but this doesn’t look like his room. I’ve never been here before.
Everything feels different. No, everything is different. My vision is restored to normal the moment I brush my eyes and I pause taking in the scenery of the room I was sleeping in all night long without knowing where I am.
Its minimalistic design is so...strange. Everything looks distorted and odd as if they made the design to not be aligned in any way, and yet, it still makes sense like that. Not to mention the peacefulness the bits of green and grey are bringing into this room. I can’t help but inhale the breath of fresh flowery scents surrounding us.
"Wabi-sabi."
I almost scream when Lucas hugs me from under the blankets. I hadn’t noticed him because he was covered by the duvet, though it’s a bit strange considering his size. I should have noticed the large bump the moment focus returned to my eyes.
"I’m sorry what did you say?"
"Wabi-sabi," he repeats, scooping me from my side of the bed and placing me on his lap so I straddle it. Then he covers me with the blanket and wraps his arms around me again.
"It’s a Japanese aesthetic characterized by finding beauty in authenticity, simplicity, and imperfection, welcoming the charm of life’s natural wear and tear," he explains to me running his hands up and down my back.
Wabi-sabi as Lucas described it makes the room look curious and relaxing even though the designs are made to look far from perfection on purpose. Like the flower pot right next to the side, I was sleeping on. It looks like it was cracked before and they used gold to mend it before planting a small flower about the size of a dandelion in it—alone.
"My mother was a woman who believed in the positive and growth through meditation and relaxation. She loved yoga and planting natural herbs all over this place. And she loved using scented candles whilst getting a massage in the open house outside."
"She sounds like a goddess," I blurt out half imagining what she looked like. Maybe like Lucas but more feminine?
"Yeah. It seemed that way to me too. That’s why I brought you here, so you can feel the calm and tranquility this place brings to your mind."
"I’m already feeling the effect but what about work today? Aren’t you supposed to attend meetings?" I deviate from the topic but he clasps my mouth before I go any further.
"Are you sure you should be asking me that instead of enjoying your short-lived vacation? I know a hundred, no, a thousand people who would die to get what you have right now," Lucas arches a perfect brow and shrugs.
Letting out a sigh and lying on his chest, I do as I’m told and relax. But even as I try to do that, last night’s events keep running in my head like a whirlpool and only one person keeps coming to mind.
My Dad.
I don’t remember his face clearly, but I’m sure my grandparents do. My curiosity keeps telling me to ask them to tell me what he was like, but my gut knows I can’t handle it. Last night was a disaster thanks to him. I had to recollect the worst of memories at the worst of times and risk getting Lucas in trouble.
And here I thought I had finally healed from all that. Seems like I’ll have to do more therapy sessions before I can finally stop worrying every time I’m in a dark space. The only question left is when? When will I be able to live in the dark freely? I’m tired of this worrying and shaking in front of Lucas.
"I’m sorry about last night," Lucas hugs me tighter, adjusting his head on my shoulder before kissing the bottom of my neck. "I shouldn’t have forced you to go public with me. We should have gone ahead with your idea."
"No, I’m sorry for making this tough for you."
"You didn’t make things tough, babe. If there’s someone to blame for what happened last night then it would be me. I’m the one who complicated everything for you and I’m the one who took you into that dark room. So...that’s why I’m apologizing. I’m sorry Iris."
I pull away from his head, grabbing his face so I can have a close look at it. As always, he looks so sincere when he’s apologizing. It makes me wonder what I did to deserve him, a man who knows how to please a distraught woman in the right ways.
"See, you always apologize first. Let me be the star of the show for once."
"You will be if you’re the one who wrongs me first."
Ah, this brings back memories.
Kissing his forehead, I move from his lap and crawl out of bed. "I’ll try and outshine you once."
Putting on the first shoes I see by the edge of his bed, I make my way to the bathroom. Wait. Where is the bathroom?
"Luke."
"Yes?"
"Where is the bathroom?" I scan my eyes around. The room is clean to the touch. It’s not clustered with furniture or designs, neither are the colors mingling like rainbows. I can’t wrap my head around all this wabi-sabi theme but it looks good.
Lucas lets out a low husky laugh as he leaves the bed, taking my hand whilst wearing his morning shoes. "Follow me."
We walk to the far right end of the room where there’s a grey door with a strange handle that looks more or less like a coat hanger. He pulls it open and we walk in, my jaw dropping on the floor the moment I lay my eyes on it.
The tree bark carved soap holders, the sky blue tiles that have just the right amount of white to make them look cloudy, making the bathroom look more or less like heaven, and the mirror on the wall adorned with what looks like flowers on a curved branch circling around it. It’s a mixture of earth and heaven in here. Mother Nature’s man cave.
"Do you like it?"
I raise my head to face Lucas. "I love it. I wouldn’t mind sitting in here all day writing. It’s magnificent."
He laughs. "That’s good. Now let’s go and get you some toiletries first before touring around the place."
I beam at him, my eyes lingering to the bathroom as we leave it behind. Lucas still has my hand in his and he’s leading the way outside when he abruptly stops on the door.
"Is she awake?"
"Yes," Lucas stands aside. Doctor Williams comes into view.
"Ah, there you are. Long time no see, Iris."
I smile at him, glancing between him and Lucas as bits of my hazy last night’s memory return to me.
What exactly happened last night for him to pop up here first thing in the morning like this?
★★★★★