She blinked a few times because of what he said.
"Meilin, promise me that you will listen to me until the end." He said as he squeezed her hands a bit.
Seeing how worried he looked at her, Xia Meilin could only nod. "Okay... I promise. What do you want to tell me?"
He took a deep breath before he answered, "Back then... you were confused when I told you that I have committed great sins against you... You couldn't understand what I was trying to say... it was all because you didn't have memories of our past at that time."
It wasn't hard for Xia Meilin to understand what he was trying to say that's why she couldn't help be surprised when she came into realization. "Don't tell me... you're... you're him...?"
For some reason, Lu Yifeng found it funny when Xia Meilin said that. He wasn't a different person, he was the same man no matter what.
"You're him?"
He reached out and touched her cheek lovingly. "I know that I have done terrible things to you in the past and I am honestly regretting them, Meilin."
Flashes of her past started appearing in front of her as if she was watching a movie and because of this, she took a step back, her face full of horror. "No... no... this can't be... you can't be him..."
Lu Yifeng lowered his head, he doesn't want to see the look she was giving him since it was starting to make his heart heavy. "I am sorry, Meilin... I'm sorry for the terrible things that I've done to you in the past..."
Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she continued staring at him. This was the last thing that she wanted. She thought that the Lu Yifeng in this world was a different man but who would have thought that he was the same devil that haunted her for so many years?
She didn't want to believe his words but now, she couldn't help but think that everything makes sense... Lu Yifeng kept on saying things before that would confuse her and now, she understands why... it was really him.
All the clues were there but she ignored them, she kept on convincing herself that he can't be the same man. How can a man like him change? That was impossible!
Just at the thought of how cruel Lu Yifeng was in their previous life, her body started trembling. Why? Why does he have to be here?
"You... all this time... You deceived me.... how could you deceive me?"
Hearing those words from her, Lu Yifeng felt suffocated. "I'm sorry if I didn't tell you the truth... you were pregnant, I didn't want to stress you out. The sins I have done to you are only mine, our children are innocent... I don't want them to be affected because of it."
Aside from that, he was afraid that she would leave him. He knows how much she hated him but he didn't have enough guts to hear it from her that's why before she can say the words that he feared the most, he looked at her with a sad smile and said, "That's all I want you to know."
He stared at her for a short while. It was those eyes... the same eyes that showed fear to him, he can even see how her body shake, he can clearly see how she wanted to run away and hide from him.
Lu Yifeng never wanted to see those from her again and yet... he's seeing them now. It brought more pain to him knowing that he was the one who caused her to be like this.
Even if he was afraid that she would leave him, he didn't want to hold her back and force her to his side if in the end... he would only destroy her again. He had enough of bringing pain to her.
He was cruel; a monster in their past. He doesn't want to be the devil of her past anymore that's why if he can make her happy by disappearing from her side then... he would let go of her.
He was a man not capable of being loved.
He can still protect her even if he was not by her side... he can protect her from the dark.
Xia Meilin watched Lu Yifeng leave the room. When he did, she felt her body lose it's strength, making her kneel on the ground.
She hugged her body close as she felt her heart being torn. It was hard for her to accept that they were the same man... Lu Yifeng was a prideful man who refused to even admit his mistakes so... how can the man that was in front of her earlier be the same?
She loves him, yes, she does but... she couldn't help but feel scared after she learned that he was the man of her past. Her doubts were tearing her apart.
Why him? Why does it have to be him? Now it was making everything hard to her.
----
Lu Yifeng went to a guest room to lie down as he suddenly felt his head throbbing in pain. It wasn't just his chest that was aching, even his head was joining in.
When he closed his eyes, he suddenly heard the voices that haunted him whenever he was dreaming of his previous life. From whispers, it became louder and louder.
"You killed her."
"It's your fault..."
"Do you think she will forgive you?"
"She will always hate you!"
"She will never forgive you..."
"Rapist!"
"Murderer!"
"Your crimes will never be forgiven!"
"See? I told you... she will never forgive us."