"Then why aren’t you explaining?"
Riley’s face scrunched up, which only served to frustrate the dragon lord. Why was it that this human could not open his mouth when it was necessary, yet had no problem filling the air with useless chatter at every other occasion when silence would have been bliss?
"Because that’s just it," Riley muttered at last. "If I tell you about it, it’ll likely be pointless. So if I want to make use of it, then I should use it really well."
Kael’s brow rose, suspicion flickering, but Riley wasn’t lying. Even so, the golden dragon lord could sense his aide was skirting around something. And as much as Riley’s mind toyed with the idea, he really, really didn’t want to use that method.
So instead he asked, almost meekly, "Sir, what if I use a weapon first?"
"Sure. You can try stabbing."
"What?! Really?!"
"Yes," Kael replied smoothly. "But I don’t know what will happen to you once you do."
Ah. Hell. There it was again.
"If it were just stabbing, I could do it myself," Kael added, his tone flat. "And then just heal myself after. But the kind of injury to you, one that couldn’t even be seen. Would you survive?"
Riley gnashed his teeth. Hearing it framed like that made him realize, once again, that it kind of sucked to be him.
"So, you wanted me to inflict tolerable injury..."
But how?
Think. Riley, think.
"Hm."
"Hmmm."
"Hmmmmm... Good Sir, could you please stop staring like that because it’s not easy to think when someone is staring daggers at you, thank you very much." His smile was all teeth, the kind meant for business meetings and corporate nightmares.
"A week off."
"Huh?"
"I said a week off."
Riley blinked. He’d heard it clearly the first time, but his brain refused to process why such words would be coming from that particular mouth.
"Have you gone deaf?"
The aide wanted to say no. In fact, he wanted to scream that it was his boss who had clearly gone insane. But of course, he wouldn’t. Even mouths could be bought for the right price, and in this case, the price was exactly that, a week off.
"No, Sir. I just wanted to make sure I heard right. So are you saying..." Riley slowed down deliberately, savoring the possibility. "I’ll get a week off work if I successfully inflict a tolerable injury on you?"
"Yes. So now figure something out."
The words hit differently in Riley’s mind. They didn’t sound like a challenge. They sounded like the heavens splitting open. Like trumpets. Like angels were singing his name.
He could almost see it—himself ascending into paradise.
Then, as if injected with something that clearly started with a "v" and ended with a glorious "acation," Riley’s eyes went glassy. Crazed.
Oh, this was on.
Now, Riley’s mind was much clearer than his eyes. His brain was firing off in all directions, calmly processing information while his eyes were locked on the dragon lord’s face—which, unfortunately, was staring back at him with the weirdest expression imaginable.
Who cared if Kael found him weird? He could be the weirdest there ever was, provided he managed to get a whole week off.
Therefore, without blinking, Riley narrowed down a few things he knew.
"Hmmm... that place most definitely wouldn’t be a good target," he muttered to himself, chin tilted in thought. "The next one would’ve been promising but then—just how was I supposed to do that? Then there’s that place but he already said no, tsk. And the other spot? Yeah, no. Doesn’t seem like something I’d like to concern myself with..."
He rubbed his jaw, muttering away like he was doing some sort of elimination game show in his head. A scientific list existed up there, complete with rankings, numbers, and potential outcomes, but for obvious reasons—namely his personal survival—there was really only one spot left to consider.
The one spot.
But won’t he die like that?
That was when his inner voices showed up.
The angelic Riley popped in first, with a voice dripping in exasperated reason. "Don’t you dare! You’ll die. You’ll actually die. Think about your safety!"
Demonic Riley snorted. "Safety? When exactly has he ever been safe?"
Angelic Riley flailed. "That’s different! This is dangerous!"
"Dangerous? The boss asked for this himself." Demonic Riley leaned smugly against the corner of his imagination. "He wants to test it, so what’s the harm?"
"He asked because he was concerned!" Angel Riley stomped his little glowing foot. "So won’t it be bad to do something so scandalous in return?"
"Scandalous? At this point, what even counts as scandalous?" Demon Riley shot back.
"Plenty of things! There are definitely more scandalous things!" Angel Riley squeaked, sounding like even he wasn’t convinced.
"Really? More scandalous than straddling the dragon lord for who knows how long? With no one present to witness it? Tell me, halo-boy, what could possibly be worse than that?"
Angelic Riley froze, wings drooping. It was a knockout blow.
Even the real Riley faltered, cheeks heating as reality slammed back into him.
Right. He was straddling the dragon lord. Still. Still. And somehow, his tiny demonic self had a point.
How bad could it really get when it was already this bad?
And as for safety... well. Didn’t the dragon lord himself ask for this?
So maybe he’d ask for a guarantee.
"My Lord." Riley’s face turned unnervingly serious.
"What?" Kael’s brow twitched. Something was off.
"Do you promise I won’t get into trouble if I actually try something? Especially if I actually succeed?" Riley leaned closer, his eyes a little too bright, and Kael found himself instinctively reclining back as if from a wild animal.
"Yes. We’ve already established that before we even started." Kael looked exasperated, because hadn’t they already gone through this?
"Then, Sir, is there a way to prevent instinctual reactions?" Riley asked, tone cautious. It was a long shot, but maybe dragons had a way of... pausing themselves? If they could pretend to be dignified adults, then surely there was a way to stop them from reflexively punching back.
Kael narrowed his eyes. "What? Are you trying to tie me up?"
"!!!"
Riley froze, then lit up. Great idea.
His eyes all but sparkled with enthusiasm as Kael’s expression darkened in grim suspicion. But Riley was already moving, tugging at the tie around his own neck. He’d worn suits for years, always with spares because you never knew when the boss might drag him somewhere at midnight. So even when he switched clothes for resting, provided he was with this guy, he would still be in one. But only now did he see the true functionality of the humble tie.
Sure, it couldn’t possibly restrain the dragon lord. But just having some flimsy bit of restraint—symbolic as it was—sounded like a bargain compared to nothing. He was gaslighting himself like this.
Kael deadpanned. "Are you seriously using that? What would that even do?"
"For my peace of mind, sir." Riley cinched the tie taut, then "politely" instructed, "Arms behind your back, please."
"???" Kael tilted his head at the absurdity of it all. So this was the plan? Using Kael’s own body against him, banking on the idea that, if his arms were tucked away, he wouldn’t retaliate? Did this twig really forget he still had legs?
But the great golden dragon had no chance to point this out.
Because the human before him suddenly declared, "Sir, if you ever think of wanting to retaliate, please remember you could just fire me on the spot. Thank you."
"What—"
"Mnff—"