The news came as a huge shock to Neriah. The last time she had been so shocked was when her father had told her about her marriage to her husband. She had not expected it. When she hadn’t seen her period on the supposed date and week, she had waved it off as something normal.
Based on the fact that she had been used to having irregular menstrual circles, with her period showing up some months and sometimes skipping one month in the whole year.
She had waved it as one of the months when it decided to disappear. Her head had not even gone toward that direction to think of pregnancy as the cause of her lost period!
She had been taught that it was natural for pregnant women to have morning sickness, cravings, distaste, change in emotion and some other physical and emotional changes. But maybe it was because it was still early, she felt very normal. So normal that she was still finding it hard to believe it.
As soon as the joy she felt about her pregnancy came upon her, a new wave of shame and regret filled her. To think that she had gone to a dungeon with a child in her made her feel terribly awful. She could not believe she made her child see such a place.
She felt like a useless woman and mother. She had never felt more foolish in her life. To think that she did not know her own body to be able to notice the changes. It pained her deeply. Her head slowly journeyed back to when Barak had told her she was a bit more fleshy when he returned. Maybe he had noticed the changes that she didn’t even see.
Neriah thought, "No wonder. He must be even angrier. I took his unborn child into a dungeon." It made sense to think of his anger. What kind of man would be happy to hear that his wife and unborn child had been attacked in a dungeon. And the fact that she had gone into the dungeon on her own did not make matters any simpler.
However, Rakavi pointed out that she had previously said Barak would be less angry if he heard the good news, indicating that he was yet to be told about the matter.
According to Rakavi, in Trago, it was not a custom or tradition persay, but it had become something like a tradition that the wives were the ones to tell their husbands about the forthcoming of their child directly. Unless the wife was in a position where she could not relay the message.
So Barak was yet to find out. In fact to make sure he wasn’t told, the physician had called Rakavi alone into the room and told her about it and Rakavi had kept the information to herself, telling the priest and physician to do the same.
Not even the king, who was her husband, knew about the child. Rakavi wanted to give Neriah the privilege to announce their first child by herself.
After Rakavi shared the news with Neriah, they had spoken for a while longer before Neriah was left alone in the room. Aria and Riri then came to her, telling her all about how much they were glad she was okay, how they were going to make offerings to bother the goddess Aveliana and the god Narcissus for keeping her safe.
But all Neriah could think of was how she was supposed to deliver the news to her angry husband that he was going to be a father and she a mother. Time and time again, while Aria and Riri rambled on, her hand would wrap around her belly. It was fascinating and scary. A child... Barak’s child.
The more she thought about it, the more it felt unreal. Five months ago she wouldn’t have even had a nightmare of marrying a barbarian more or less having his baby.
However she had married him, and though the thought of having his baby would have been disgusting in the beginning of their marriage, now... now she could not help but wonder if the child would have a head full of dazzling black hair like his father or red like hers. Would the child have its father’s gait? Would its eyes sparkle a brilliant gold or green? Or would it be a mixture of both colors?
Her eyes wandered to the portrait of the very young Barak and she thought to herself, "If the child looks like him, he would be so cute." It was a pleasant thought, a boy like the little Barak in the portrait and if it were a girl, then she could look like Rakavi, Neriah reasoned with a sad smile.
She wondered, ’what would he say when I tell him?’ One thing was certain, she could not tell him this while he was still angry. She feared his anger would only escalate if she told him about it at that moment. Because even she was angry with herself for risking the life of her unborn child.
Her child... The words felt so foreign and yet so filling. Hers and Barak’s.
Although Aria stayed with her all through the day, Neriah did not tell her. She wanted to see Barak first before saying anything.
So she waited... She bathed and waited. She had no idea how to appease an angry man. She had never really tried doing so before. She thought about it over and over again, but nothing came to her head.
So she bathed with the help of Aria and personally picked out a nightdress. One that was quite translucent. It had a shawl but she chose to forego it. Even though the night was cold, she chose to remain like that, without covering. She just had a chair moved closer to the hearth and sat in front of the burning flames.
She had them serve dinner for two, she was going to wait for him.
When everything was set, the maids, Aria included, left Neriah alone in the room.