For long seconds, Neriah just held the note in her hands, silently sobbing. All she could think of was how she had been sleeping with another man when her lover was busy finding ways to reach her. It hurt her so bad to think of her betrayal. Remembering that she had done it with Barak again that very afternoon, and was now holding Lyle’s letter in her hands made her feel even more dirty.
"Forgive me." She whispered into the night air. "Forgive me my love." she cried, pressing the piece of paper upon her chest. A sudden sound echoed through the room and her eyes widened as she realized it was the sound of the door being opened. He had returned.
Quickly, she chased the bird who seemed reluctant to fly away without receiving any treats from her. She would have loved to read his letter and then send him one in return, but there was no time, she could already hear his footsteps.
Wiping her tears from her face, she folded the piece of paper into a smaller shape and clenched it in her palm.
"Neriah?" She heard him call for her and her breath shook as she feared greatly for the sake of her lover. She was terrified of what this husband of hers would do if he found out that she had been exchanging letters with her lover.
"What are you doing out here dressed in this?" He asked as he reached her back. Her heart was starting to beat faster and faster with fear. The closer he got the faster her heartbeat. "Do you plan to catch a cold and die?" He bluntly asked and she refused to respond.
She feared he’d detect something from the sound of her voice so she remained quiet.
Neriah shivered as a sudden warm tingle crept up her spine as she felt a soft fabric wrap around her shoulders. She soon realized that he had picked up her shawl and placed it round her body.
"Is the view so beautiful that you did not realize your shawl had flown away?" He asked and she was hoping he’d leave her alone, but contrary to that, his arms that wrapped her shawl around her remained around her body.
Gently pressing her back upon his chest, he shared his warmth with her. For seconds, they remained that way, she was too scared to say a thing and just firmly clenched her fist, praying that he did not notice that something was hidden in it.
"What do you think of Eliza? Are you okay with her?" He suddenly broke the silence that was starting to choke her.
"She’s fine." The words were barely even words. If the night wasn’t as silent as it was, he probably would not have heard a thing she said. But he did hear her, and another silence washed over them.
"It’s a pity the stars are not out tonight." He suddenly spoke up again and Neriah could not help but wonder why he was trying to talk to her. Yes she did not like the uncomfortable silence. But she also did not want to converse with him. All she wanted was to escape and hide the letter before he discovered it.
"The stars are really pretty at sea, but you refused to come out throughout our voyage." He continued. "You should see the Trago night sky when it’s full of stars, it’s really enchanting." He said and then fell silent.
Once again, only the wind passed between them... sounds of people chattering from a distance, the ticking and cooing of nocturnal insects and birds were the only things that passed between them.
But then he spoke again, "Someday," he paused, as though he was weighing his next words. Trying to choose the once to say and the once not to utter, "when the sky is beautifully stained with thousands of stars, and you hate me a little less, will you ride with me? And we shall relish in the glory of such an enchanting night together."
He lowered himself a little till his chin touched her head and his arms held her closer, while her fist clenched tighter to Lyle’s letter. She wanted to scream, wanted to tell him to get away from her, but she held it all in. She held it all back...
"Will you?" He asked again, "Tell me you will." His voice slipped to a whisper that blended beautifully with the wind. "Riah—"
"I am tired. I want to rest." She finally forced the words out of her mouth. She could not take it any longer. The feeling of his arms around her, the vibration that took hold of her body each time he spoke, the pleasant whispers and the tingle they caused... she could not take it anymore.
She shifted in his arms, "Release me. I want to go to bed." She said again, this time in a much firmer tone. It was a command. She felt disgusting the longer she was in his arms and she hated that feeling.
"Ri—"
"Let me go. It has been a long day, I am exhausted, so let go of me now." She did not raise her voice, but it was audible and clear enough for him to hear the distaste there.
He remained silent for some seconds, then he exhaled deeply and his arms around her loosened, falling to his side. And almost instantaneously, as if she had been set free from the chains that bound her, like those chains were held down by some kind of devil, she pushed past him and into the room.
Without any delay, she rushed into the walk-in closet and made her way to the pair of stockings where she had hidden the other letters she had received from Lyle.
She knew very well that trying to read the letter that night was a suicide mission so she kept it safe in her socks. She’d read it in the morning. She hid the stockings back where she had pulled it out from under some pile of her underwear.
She straightened up her nightdress and hair, cleared her throat and then stroked her hair again before taking a step out of the closet.
That night, like all the other nights, he held her close to himself and she let him do so because she was sad and cold and like it or not, he was big and comfortable... And most importantly...
He was warm... calmingly so.