Penelope walked with Tyrion to the centre of the room and positioned herself for the start of the dance.
Tyrion appeared to be even more handsome tonight, and it certainly wasn’t missed by others. Was it because he wore a palace uniform which was greatly decorated, or was there some other reason behind the dashing look he had now?
Was it because she had to let go of him soon that he appeared so handsome?
Did Tyrion look so handsome tonight to sway her decision?
"You look lovely," Tyrion said, disturbing the silence that fell upon them.
"Thank you. You are also very dashing tonight. You’ve dressed up more than usual. Is it your parents doing, or is there something special about this ball?" Penelope asked.
"It was my parents’ doing. I have to look the part of a man getting ready to become king. I thought it was all for nothing, but I am pleased to hear that I look dashing. Did you like my gift?" Tyrion asked, curious what she thought of it.
Who was the other man so foolish as to send her a carriage?
"It was grand. Thank you for thinking so highly of me as to send a carriage, but you must stop this. You shall be named king soon, and you are expected to name a woman to marry before then. Please, don’t try to sway me," said Penelope.
It was already hard to stick with her decision to not accept his advances so his gifts and the things he said were coming close to having her change her mind.
Penelope looked down at their feet as they danced so she could avoid his gaze.
"I already told you that I would not give up. Why are you torturing yourself? You know very well that you love me too. Why keep yourself from happiness that I will give you?" Tyrion asked.
Penelope closed her eyes for a moment before raising her head to meet Tyrion’s eyes. "I have already given you my reason why you must stop. I will never enter the palace. No matter what I feel for you, I shall never be happy with you there. You must move on."
Penelope smiled despite the ache she felt in her chest. She had never felt anything before.
"I have loved you for a very long time," Penelope confessed.
It wasn’t something she denied, but held in since nothing would come out of them loving each other.
"In another world, perhaps we would be together, but right now, you are the crown prince, and I don’t want to be trapped in a palace. I want the freedom to roam and to be myself. We cannot be together," Penelope said, hoping this would be the very last time she said this.
Of all the other social events Penelope had to attend, the one she did not want to go to was to see Tyrion name his future wife.
Penelope looked beyond Tyrion to the crowd watching them. "They are not all bad. I’m sure you can find a young lady who will love you and be a wonderful queen. You only need to forget me and look."
Penelope didn’t dare look at Tyrion since she knew what she said was upsetting him. She didn’t want to see the expression he wore now as she said what he didn’t want to hear.
To make him feel better, Penelope added, "I shall continue to be your friend. I don’t know how long I will remain in Lockwood, but as long as I am here, I shall care for you, and when I am away, I shall wish you well."
"Is what you truly want?" Tyrion asked in a low tone. "We cannot be together because of the palace."
Penelope nodded her head. "It is like I said before. We can remain friends."
"We both know that it is not possible. That is why you cannot meet my eyes. Very well," Tyrion said, deciding to give Penelope what she wanted. "I will not court you anymore. I won’t do what sways you anymore. It was good while it lasted."
Penelope lowered her head. It was finally over, yet it didn’t feel good.
Among all the women dancing at the moment, Penelope had to be the only one who wished the dance would be over with sooner.
When the music came to an end, Penelope stepped away from Tyrion and curtsied. Unlike other times, Tyrion didn’t linger near her and left to speak to someone else.
Penelope remained with her head up high as she returned to her mother’s side.
"You danced so beautifully," Alessandra said as she took hold of Penelope’s hand.
"Thank you, mother," Penelope replied.
Penelope remained by her mother’s side as more couples, including Lily and Elijah, who were asked to dance, went to the centre of the room.
Among this group was Tyrion, who acted fast to move on to another young woman.
Penelope picked at her nails. It was a habit she shouldn’t do, especially when so much attention was on her family, but it helped to calm her nerves.
Penelope held onto her mother for support as she watched the pairs get ready to dance. She had a moment to prepare herself to see Tyrion with someone else as the musicians prepped for the next song.
Time seemed to have moved fast for the next song to play, and all the pairs started to move in unison.
It was either that the music had become overwhelmingly loud, or it was all the chatter around her that made her feel nauseous.
Despite not wanting to look at Tyrion doing as she said he should, Penelope couldn’t look away from him. The longer she looked at him, the more Penelope felt someone was nipping her in the chest with many needles.
Feeling water settling in the corner of her eyes, Penelope looked down at the floor before anyone noticed her state.
"It has become crowded. Can we step outside for a moment, mother? I don’t wish to go far, I just," Penelope trailed off, accidentally meeting her mother’s eyes after she briefly looked up. "I find it hard to breathe."
Alessandra was both confused and startled by Penelope’s teary eyes. "Penelope," she said, touching her daughter’s face. "Come with me."
Alessandra pulled Penelope close to shield her from prying eyes. Before stepping outside, Alessandra approached Edgar to say, "We are going outside for a moment. I must talk with her alone."
Alessandra then led Penelope outside, where Edgar should be able to get to them quickly if they needed help.
Once outside, Penelope let go of her mother’s hand and fidgeted with the dress, which suddenly felt tight. Unable to bring herself comfort by loosening the dress, Penelope paced back and forth.
’You must tell me what troubles you," Alessandra said, concerned about Penelope’s state. "What is wrong?"
Penelope stopped pacing to look at her mother. "I am what is wrong. My decisions are all wrong, and I am torturing myself. I asked him to turn to someone else, and he has, but now I cannot stop myself from wanting to cry."
Penelope touched her chest where most of the pain seemed to settle. "There is an unbearable pain I need to end so I can move on, but it will not go away."
Penelope clutched the front of her dress where she felt the pain continuing to build up. Why did letting go need to be this painful?