Jeremy was speechless.
I took a deep breath. "Seeing you guys together like that, happy, it makes me a little jealous. I want the same thing."
"I thought you were okay with it. You have the Atkins." He said.
I nodded. "I do have the Atkins. Now. I thought I could brush it off, but you got so many years with them." I looked him in the eye. "I'm jealous that they took you away. You didn't have to worry where your next meal was going to come from. Or worry if today was going to be a bad day, just because that woman was slightly sober. You had people you could talk to. A family after dad's death. Me? I legitimately almost died."
"So what am I supposed to do?" Jeremy was distressed. "Just let you guys keep ignoring one another?"
I looked to Dr. Moore. He would know better than me.
"Let's just wait this one out." Dr. Moore suggested. "Jake isn't ready and from the sound of it, your uncle's family might not be ready either. Maybe you can start slowly. Like your cousins." Dr. Moore looked at me. "You have nothing against them, right?"
I shrugged. "I have no opinion."
Dr. Moore gave me a look. "There's no way you don't have any opinion."
I sighed. "Can I claim that it's a mostly neutral opinion?"
"What does that mean?" Jeremy asked, worried.
I hesitated. "I don't know them. They could be super nice and great to you, but maybe they resent me. They don't know me either. I'm just not good with strangers, okay?"
"Of course that's okay." Jeremy told me. "But...they're not strangers. They're our family."
I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. I didn't want to make him upset, but I didn't consider them my family.
"Just give it time." Dr. Moore stated again. "You feel guilty and uncomfortable around the Atkins. Jake probably feels awkward and uncomfortable around your cousins. You got to grow up with them, and them with you. It's hard to enter in any kind of situation where you know you're the odd one out."
Jeremy started to nod. "Oh. Okay. Like being a new student in school or like when I was traded to the A's."
"Yes, right." Dr. Moore answered. "How did you feel being traded to the A's?"
"I was relieved." He smiled. "My family is up here. A lot of my friends. I spent the majority of my life in this area. It was like coming home. But walking into that new dugout for the first time, I was nervous."
"You?" I asked, not believing it.
He nodded. "I knew some of the guys since we play against one another occasionally, but it was already a team that was put together." He smiled. "When you joined your high school team, you already knew the Atkins, but not the rest, right?"
I nodded.
"That's what it was like for me. I knew some better than others, but overall, I'm still new to the MLB. There are a lot of guys I don't know. It's also tough coming to a situation where you're replacing someone who got hurt. Especially when that injured player is expected to come back."
"But you guys can play together. Noah talks about it all the time." I frowned.
He showed a sad smile. "We could, but that means someone else will lose their spot on the roster."
"Oh."
"It's all part of the game." Jeremy shrugged.
"Sounds like you two don't need me anymore." Dr. Moore let out a laugh. "I know some baseball, but I don't think I can sort out all the complexities that surround it."
I stood as did Jeremy. It sounded like Dr. Moore was dismissing us. "Thanks, Dr. Moore."
"No problem." He got up from behind his desk and walked us to his door, opening it so we could leave.
We walked out and I waved goodbye. "See ya."
He smiled and waved back. "Have some fun. Come see me whenever you want."
We walked through the waiting room and out the door. Got into Jeremy's car.
I glanced at him. "You okay?"
"Yea." He started the car. "I am. It felt good to get all of that off my chest. Kind of like a mental cleanse."
My lips twitched. "Yea, something like that. I like Dr. Moore. He always makes me feel better by the time I leave his office."
"He seems pretty decent." Jeremy drove through the neighborhood, heading to the park that Zeke told him about during lunch.
When we arrived, it looked like the game had just started. Jeremy put on some sunglasses and followed me to an open bench area. We sat together and I started to introduce everyone I knew. Noah and Zeke were easy. Julian and his little brother, Andy. Mr. Miller and Stu. Then the girls: Alisha, Kaylee, and KJ.
"And Alisha is the one that likes Noah." I finished explaining what I knew about everyone.
"Wow. Is it weird between them?" He asked.
I shook my head. "No. Noah doesn't know so it's pretty much the same."
"You haven't told him yet?"
"Nah. It's not something that needs my input." I told him what Dad had said to me before. "It's better if I just leave it to them. But I doubt anything will happen even if he knew. He likes baseball too much."
We spent some more time talking about Noah. Then about Zeke. And it just kept going. The conversation was smooth and wasn't as emotional as when we were at Dr. Moore's. In fact, I think getting all that turmoil out beforehand made Jeremy easier to talk to. I knew a little more about him, and he knew a little more about me.
After the game, Noah sprinted over, pulling Andy along. "Andy, this is Jeremy Patterson. Cool, right?"
"Hello." Jeremy greeted him.
Andy blinked. "Wow." He couldn't say anything else.
Lucky for him, the rest of the team came over to see too.
"This is Jeremy." I told everyone.
"You guys really do look alike." Alisha said, drawing a chorus of agreements from everyone else.
"Do you know if Maberry will play tomorrow?" Julian asked. "I need to know for my fantasy team."
Jeremy laughed. "Well, I'm not the manager, but I believe so. He's been ready for quite awhile now."
"The A's are about to dominate the second half of this season." Noah declared.
"As long as they make the playoffs and win there. That's what matters." Mr. Miller added on.