It’s like the act of plagiarism— I stole your work and wrote my name over it. Once you found out about it and you wanted to publicise the fact, I ended up yelling at you for not being ’empathetic and understanding’. You gave in and terminated our friendship, but you didn’t want to reclaim your work from me either.
After a while, I fell out with the publishing house because of you. Now that I plan to make things public,you should forgive me because I’m making sacrifices. You’ve been through the hurt, the pain and the sadness already, so are they trying to make you shed a few tears of gratitude now that they’re ‘trying’?”
Xu Xinduo kind of wanted to cry. She felt her eyes starting to heat up and murmured in a particularly soft voice, “If I hadn’t returned, would they have not turned out like this? Would they have been happy? I feel like a broomstick star(1)…”
(T/N: refers to someone who brings about bad luck. Brooms are used to clean and collect the dust, so likewise, the term refers to someone being the ‘broom’ and causing misfortune)
“Why are you feeling guilty? Don’t you think it’s better if that kind of marriage ends?”
“In the eyes of others, I’m the one who’s always weary and brooding right? I’m the one who can’t forget the negative things that happened right? Maybe I can make a move to push things in the right direction?”
“They weren’t the ones who experienced this pain. Every single one of them is better at speaking slanderous words than the other, but maybe they should try to experience the same damn things before trying to convince others to be slightly more empathetic.”
Xu Xinduo was caught in a dilemma, “Should I go to see her?”
“Since you came here to ask me that, I’m guessing that you’re getting soft-hearted?”
She didn’t answer him and submitted to the loud silence.
Tong Yan looked at Xu Xinduo and sighed before he walked over and hugged her. He stated, “I’m very angry because I saw you go through all those horrendous experiences and I know what sort of pain you’re dealing with— that’s the reason why I’m angry. I don’t want you to forgive them, nor do I want you to have any sort of relation with them. But you’re different— you have always lacked this sort of harsh expression, after all. If… if you think that there is a sliver of a chance in forgiving them, then maybe you can try it once.”
Xu Xinduo leaned into Tong Yan’s arms and hugged him tightly.
Tong Yan continued to comfort her, “It’s okay. At any rate, there’s me and Grandma with you. I’ll always be by your side— whatever they cannot give you, I will provide.”
Xu Xinduo felt a lot better, calming down efficiently after Tong Yan’s encouragement and consoling.
She decided to give her a visit and take it as her final attempt at getting along with her real family. That way, she wouldn’t feel burdened by it in the future had she not tried.
After making her decision, she pushed Tong Yan away and was preparing to leave. However, she was stopped by him, “What are you doing?”
“I’m going home.”
“It’s this late and you’re going home now? Just stay here with me.”
Xu Xinduo looked at his bed that had a width of no more than 1.5 metres. It was kind of cramped for two, wasn’t it?
Moreover, staying overnight with Tong Yan?
How could that be possible?
Tong Yan suddenly whispered, “It’s my first time living in the dormitory, so I’m kind of scared…”
Xu Xinduo watched Tong Yan for a while before she took out her mobile phone and sent a voice message to Wei Lan,”Wei Lan, Tong Yan said he’s afraid of living in the dormitory alone. Can you come and stay with him for a few days?”