Mo Chi hugged Qin Ran tightly. He didn’t know what to say. He knew that any words were useless at this moment. He understood the pain of losing someone close to him. He had nightmares all day long, thinking that if he was stronger, he might be able to protect the people he cherished.
Qin Ran wiped her tears and forced a smile. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Mo Chi looked at Qin Ran’s forced smile and felt even sadder than seeing her cry. “Ranran, cry if you want to.”
“Cry?” Qin Ran blinked her eyes in confusion and forced a smile, “I can’t cry. I promised Tang Chi that I would be happy with Qiqi’s wishes. Qiqi definitely doesn’t want to see me cry…”
“No, Ranran, you’re also an ordinary person. You’ll also feel sad. You don’t have to be so strong in front of me. Qiqi won’t blame you.” Mo Chi finally understood that Qin Ran wasn’t as invincible as she appeared. She would actually be sad, but she wouldn’t tell anyone. In her heart, she didn’t even have the right to be sad.
“Why should I cry? I don’t have to risk my life to do missions now. I live a rich and happy life. I even found the person I love. What right do I have to be pretentious?”
Qin Ran looked at Mo Chi stubbornly, “But Qiqi doesn’t even have the chance to look at the sun again. She won’t be able to eat her favorite snacks anymore. Tang Chi is still on dangerous missions all over the world. I don’t even dare to receive news from him. I’m afraid that it’s bad news… I’m having the best life among them. What right do I have to cry?”
“Ranran!” Mo Chi shook Qin Ran’s shoulder, his eyes filled with anxiety. “Everyone has their own fate. Just because you got married and retired doesn’t mean that you’re not qualified to be an ordinary person. Qiqi’s death isn’t your fault!”
“It’s my fault!” Tears finally seeped out of Qin Ran’s eyes. Her voice trembled. “That time, she was carrying out the mission on my behalf. I was the one who should have died!”
The mission at that time was very difficult. However, Qin Ran was seriously injured in the previous mission and had yet to recover. Tang Qi said that he wanted to take her place to carry out the mission. Before she left, Tang Qi was still very happy. She said that everyone would eat hot pot together when she returned. Her face was filled with a bright smile as she said to Qin Ran, “Sister, I can protect you now. Don’t worry, I will definitely complete your mission perfectly and not embarrass you!”
Tears the size of beans rolled down from Qin Ran’s eyes. “Who cares about being embarrassed? I don’t care about anything as long as she comes back alive!” She shouted almost hysterically, “I only want her to live!”
Mo Chi hugged Qin Ran tightly in his arms. He could feel her tears wetting his shoulders. His heart ached so much that he couldn’t breathe. “Ranran, I know you feel guilty, but you understand that in our line of work, death is always by your side. We don’t know which will come first, the accident or tomorrow. Qiqi’s death isn’t your fault, and she definitely never blamed you. She definitely doesn’t want to see you under such pressure.”
Qin Ran’s shoulders twitched as she suppressed the painful sobs in her throat. Mo Chi knew that he definitely wouldn’t be able to resolve the obsession in Qin Ran’s heart with a few words. He could only gently pat her shoulder and give her some insignificant strength.
“I always felt that it was because I didn’t do well enough that I couldn’t protect the people I cared about.” Qin Ran’s voice was filled with despair. “After that, I trained desperately. I learned everything. Other than eating and sleeping, training was the only thing I did. I risked my life to do missions…”
In the end, she became the top agent with the highest level in the National Security Bureau. As long as she was willing, she could slowly be promoted to an agent instructor of the National Security Bureau and even enter the senior management level.
However, she was confused. So what if she got the highest position? The person she cared about would never come back. During that period of time, Qin Ran lived like a walking corpse. Tang Yan saw that her condition was really too poor and advised her to adjust before setting off again. Qin Ran had the thought of temporarily retreating, which was why the things that happened after she returned to the Qin family happened.
“I know, I know everything.” Mo Chi’s gentle voice sounded in Qin Ran’s ear. As if it had magic, Qin Ran’s anxious and panicked heart slowly calmed down.
“Mo Chi, thank goodness I have you. Otherwise, I really don’t know what’s the point of me living.” Qin Ran smiled bitterly.