"Whitey, how about this one? Isn't this look great? I'm sure that your sister will definitely love it!"
Once again, its another day and night time of the ongoing Festival in the Town, and Shao Cheng are currently rooming around from vendor to vendor as he checks an items to buy, after all, it's almost New Year time which the present Festival has finally remind Shao Cheng that he definitely need to at least buy some gifts to his biological family which he hasn't even done in the previous life before because he just didn't even dare and tried to care about them at all.
And as he just thinks about his cold and ruthless self in the previous life, like always, Shao Cheng's heart felt like its twisting and breaking down from the overwhelming pain and remorse that he will endlessly feel as it completely becomes extremely familiar now.
Since Shao Cheng will always appear normal from the outside, cold and indifferent, while the real truth is that inside him, the inner demon, dark thoughts and swirling emotions of extreme guilt, shame, regret, and remorse are continuously drowning and eating him inside the entire time.
Which he was alright with, knowing that this is the price of the chosen path he has walked over in the previous life.
However, what he cared more about is the fact that there is this extremely important memory that he just couldn't figure out off.
Because Shao Cheng can determine that everything are all about a certain matter that has happened in the previous life, unfortunately though, all his memories are entirely more focused and based from the time of making Chang Pei the Emperor, which was all the complicated planning and his fight in which inwardly and outwardly to the people that he was against with, while keeping his two most important people safe and sound.
And the entire time, uncaring and indifferent from the Shao family problems.
Right now, Shao Cheng is utterly regretting his indifference to his family that it's extremely a bit hard to easily remember every situation that has happened to them, he was completely sure that there are important circumstances that he needed to remember, causing his head to throb in heaviness from trying to remember his previous life memories.
It doesn't matter that every time recalls and relives what he has done in the previous life that it felt like he was being buried deeply from the heavy shame, regret, mistakes, guilt, and utter remorse of everything he did, which Shao Cheng continues to do so because it was something that he absolutely deserves while needing to keep going on as it is all related to the safety of the people that he once failed.
Shao Cheng just wished that those memories that he coldly tucked in the corner of his mind as a mere useless space and a waste of time to even remember will soon recover itself.
Although he is extremely smart and intelligent in this world, however, there is something that a person will always forget in their memories and the Shao Family matter was one of those that he couldn't recall so easily.
So, please to the power being out there to make him remember the important information that he has carelessly thrown away without a single thought in the past.
Shao Cheng doesn't mind the suffering, hardship, and misery he will experience because he has absolutely known that his new life wouldn't be easy and full of sunshine, so he really hopes that he will remember the memories that will keep his family that he will treat as his love one this time to be safe and away from danger for as long as he can.
However, for now, though, Shao Cheng just remains the same and normal as always as he focuses on the currently gaudy and showy hair accessories that Ren Yuan is currently showing which is supposed to be a gift to Shao Cheng older and younger sister.
He dreaded that the man will become scarily sharp about what is really going on within him once again, and Shao Cheng isn't really willing to reveal and explain his moody and dark thought to Ren Yuan, since of all people, the person before him is someone that he prefers to be left alone in the dark.
Good decision or not, but Shao Cheng doesn't want to burden the older man about any of his problems.
He was able to survive to face all those troublesome and difficulty in his previous life, so Shao Cheng was sure that he can also do it again in this life.
"Big Brother Yu Yu just be quiet and let me do the picking."
"What's wrong with the item I choose?"
Ren Yuan couldn't help but raise his eyebrows which thankfully has quickly made his attention to focus more at the Little Chen Yu that has suddenly moved inside his inner robe on his chest that has caused it to almost fall off.
"Nothing wrong with it."
Shao Cheng lied with a straight face, not wanting the man to become bothersome because of hurting his manly pride of choosing something bad since you know he was a well-known ladies man which he is beginning to understand that is absolutely a lie.
Before a frown appears on Shao Cheng face as he glances at the accessories before him, it is probably not the right place to be choosing such a gift but there might be something good that will take his attention, Shao Cheng will never reject anyone because of their mere status of life, he has been like them once upon a time, normal, poor and struggling.
"It's just that I need to be the one to choose the item I have never given anything to my family for the past few years now"
Shao Cheng couldn't hide the shame which has managed to leak into his voice and has instantly cause the older man to slowly blink his eyes on what he just heard, his mind running ideas quickly about the young man's mysterious identity that Whitey still refuses to speak about.
Before his features softening up while raising his hand to pat on the young man's head while making a mess of the smooth hair that has quickly been slapped away from the young man causing his grin to widen not really minding on Whitey actions.
"Well, its time to finally get them gifts right?"
At least, you're reaching out and trying now, right?
Hearing the hidden meaning of understanding from Ren Yuan words, Shao Cheng heavy feeling lessen a bit, although it probably will never disappear but he appreciates it, so he nodded his head gently while allowing the older man to mess his hairs once again, completely being obedient this time that Ren Yuan has let out a pleasant chuckle.
Well, getting his family gifts for New Year which can also be interpreted as a new beginning is a good thing to do, which is going to be a good start to show his present new self and the slight change of trying to live once again, after all, the original Shao Cheng has just stopped caring about everything at a very young age.
After experiencing that traumatic violence and tragedy early on and losing his favorite and exceedingly love great grandmother in his life that the original Shao Cheng has just close off.
Fearing of loving another person, fearing of losing a loved one, fearing of violence, fearing everything about life that has to offer.
Entirely and absolutely fearful that he has shut off everyone in his life, choosing to live like a dead person, because it was easier that way of just not caring about everyone and everything.
It just too bad that in this world, there is no traumatic counseling, which the young Shao Cheng wasn't saved from his own inner demon despite having a loving family.
But since Shao Cheng has been given another chance that he still believes that he deserves one bit about it, going home to the Capital and celebrating the New Year with his family is a good start to do.
After all, in the previous life, Shao Cheng didn't go back to the Capital, choosing to make himself get used to his life in this new world after transmigrating, while only caring his promise to Huang Ya that has been his savior to meet up in the Capital after he was ready.
Huang Ya huh Shao Cheng still felt confused and suspicious of what really happened in the previous life since everything is completely different from what he thought that he knows as the truth.
Inwardly sighing, while seeing as there is nothing good in this one, Shao Cheng has once more went to the next vendor and checking what it got when he sensed a familiar presence in the corner of his mind which is about to get close to him before he was suddenly grabbed and pulled away before he can react.
"Ah!"
Suddenly Shao Cheng has slowly turned his head around toward the young childish voice that he heard, so extremely familiar, someone that he will never forget on his entire life, someone that has been one of the focus of his chosen wrong path in his previous life.
"Young Lady Ya! Are you alright?"