Translator: Aristophaneso
It was said that on that night, Young Master Gu exploded.
That night, the Vice Headmaster posted a list of new rules, a list of a total of 188 points mainly targeting freshman.
That night, His Highness Prince Chu had been working all night in the Imperial Palace, tracking the guest list for Imperial Consort Chang’s birthday celebration. He sat for a long while staring at a single page as if willing the ink to change shape.
“Prince of Hu Zhuo Helian Zheng and his fiancée Feng Zhiwei.”
Let’s explain the walk climbing incident.
According to the freshman who had been caught on the wall, the weather had been so great and the stars so bright that his heart had stirred. The student claimed that a curfew at the night’s second watch was inhumane, and even on normal days he could never fall asleep before the third watch. Unable to sleep, he went out exploring and saw a flower so beautiful he just had to smell it, not noticing that the flower was growing on the Vice President’s residence wall. That was all.
According to the owner of the wall, there were no flowers on that wall.
According to Master Gu: Dark of night, raining, fourth watch, Qinggong1.
In the pouring rain and a night dark enough to hide one’s own fingers, someone had used Qinggong to climb the Vice Headmaster’s flowerless yard wall.
Which version was the truth? There was naturally no doubt.
For the truth was that the man climbing the wall was only halfway over when he met the eyes of someone waiting for him. The veiled figure’s eyes were bright like the polar stars, and after some unknown signal, the main hall window was pushed open. A head poked out, a faint smile on her lips as she called out: “So you came.”
Helian Zheng sat astride the wall, filled with disappointment. He had thought that even if he could not sneak into the house, if he made an uproar breaking in during the night, then the Vice Headmaster might rush out in a flustered moment, half-clothed and a feast for the eyes, but his target was even more clothed than he.
So he sat on the wet wall and called back a reply: “I’m here.”
“Is the view good from the top of the wall?”
“It’s good.”
“Have you admired it long enough?”
Helian Zheng lifted his eyes and turned in every direction before replying: “Not yet.”
“Oh.” Feng Zhiwei said as she slid the window shut. “Then you can stay there forever.”
The Helian Prince shook his head, paying no mind to this person’s words — this Vice Headmaster really was not cute at all, why would he speak so rudely? Who could keep him on this wall forever? A prince like him went wherever he wanted, and he could stay as long as he willed.
He glanced down at the ground as he moved to demount the wall, but he could not bear the indignity of clambering down in front of Gu Nanyi so he readied his feet against the wall, preparing to fly handsomely downwards like a glorious falcon.
But just as he was positioning his legs, Young Master Gu flicked his hand forward shooting out a glittering broken ray of silver lights.
Helian Zheng immediately froze —
The long and silvery nails pierced through Helian Zheng’s pants around his crotch, nailing him neatly against the wall.
Accurate and extraordinarily exquisite concealed weapon skills could not make Helian Zheng sweat.
But even he feared the silver nails surrounding his most important part, nailing the fabric around his organ tightly against the wall, seemingly close enough to spark flame.
If Young Master Gu’s aim had had been the slightest bit off, the heroic male falcon would have ended up a female falcon.
Helian Zheng’s limbs froze and he dared not exert any force to continue his leap. As his body followed its inertia, his taut trousers were quickly ripped apart and reduced to stripped shreds.
The prince could only cover his crotch and sit back against the wall, endeavoring to hide his privates behind the weeds and vines around him.
But then the wall beneath him moved.
For a moment, Helian Zheng thought he was imagining things, his fury cluttering his mind, but the tremors and shivers of the wall beneath him grew more and more intense and he could only watch as Young Master Gu wielded his jade sword to cut his section of the wall; the bodyguard slicing through the hard material like it was tofu before detaching his seat and carrying it away.
The stone slabs were joined together by a fine rice paste mortar and was of such expert construction that the surgical abscission left both wall and seat perfectly intact. Young Master Gu marched away with the chunk of wall on his shoulder, the noble Helian Prince cupping his privates as he sat astride the seat.
As the young master walked, he began to whistle.
Semi-conscious students rushed out of their dorms and began lining up on either side of the road.
As the whistling neared, the dreary eyed prisoners looked over, blinking and rubbing their eyes over and over.
But no matter how they rubbed, the reality never changed.
The gorgeous Young Master Gu was steadily walking forward with a chunk of wall on his shoulder, carrying Prince Helian and his shredded trousers through the early morning breeze.
The Hu Zhuo Prince could pay the surprised crowd any mind, busy as he was grabbing every which way for his unruly fluttering strips of pants to cover his family jewels.
He had no choice. He was seated so high that the crowd only needed to tilt their eyes upwards to see everything.
As more and more students assembled, Helian Zheng spotted a skulking Feng Hao, hurriedly calling out to him: “Little brother-in-law, toss me some pants...”
But then this little brother who had hugged his thighs and cried out so pitifully for help the day before immediately turned and ran away.
“Pah!” Helian Zheng spat, “You don’t even deserve to carry your sister’s sandals!”
He could no longer go on like this. Helian Zheng looked all around him — was he being paraded around like a shamed trophy? How could a dignified prince like him bear the loss of face?
So he grit his teeth, after all his nakedness meant nothing; they were all men here, what was he afraid of?
So he readied himself again, throwing caution to the wind and moving to leap forward, preparing his best lightness techniques to escape this encirclement.
But as he moved, he realized that the silver nails that had nailed his trousers to the wall had melted into a sticky liquid that stuck to his thighs and privates and the wall.
Now Helian Zheng really did not dare move — if he jumped away and forever left his little bird behind, his mind would collapse.
And so Helian Zheng obediently behaved, allowing Gu Nanyi to carry him through the main road and into the square, all the while high up in the air at the center of the crowd, admired by every gaze from the Politics Tower to the History College.
“No...” Helian Zheng muttered, his fading pride giving away to terror as he looked up at the tower in realization.
And as he expected, Young Master Gu began calmly climbing the tower.
When he reached the small platform on the roof, Young Master Gu put down the wall and found two stones to pin the wall in place. Finally, he used his sword to write a few characters on the stone beneath Helian Zheng’s feet, and then without a backwards glance, returned below.