I've finally, FINALLY finished re-editing the second volume, and the updated chapters are already up on the site.
Here are the changes in a nutshell:
* I reduced Judy's general grumpiness in the first half of the volume. It's still part of her character arc, so she's still calling Leo out when necessary, but now hopefully she'll no longer come off as belligerent and needlessly catty.
* I made the nature of the relationship between Leo and the girls more clear-cut, and ditched the "one true threesome" term, as it led to some confusion due to the letter of the trope implying actual threesomes, including overt attraction between the girls as well, which wasn't my intention.
* I changed the scene where Leo has a heart to heart with Josh about getting whacked over the head with a stick. Hopefully it's now going to feel less whiny and more in-character for both of them.
* I changed Rinne's speech pattern to foreshadow her being a rough amalgamation of two personalities.
* I made capitalizations and terminology/rules more consistent.
* I added a lot of contractions and reduced the overusage of certain idioms.
* I interspersed a couple more meta-talks between Leo and Judy.
* I made a looooot of small fixes, from typos to redundancies.
Now that I'm finally finished, I'll take a day or two off, and then I'll start working on new chapters. In other words, see you soon with some new content. Cheers, and have a nice day! Thɪs chapter is updated by novel-fire.net