Chapter 62
Snake Report:
Daaaaa daaa daa daaaaaaa dududuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Hear that?
That's the sound of me being a gosh-darn hero.
No devil-snake on my non-existent shoulders. No abandoning comrades in their time of need, no using up almost all my magic on a very dramatic but very necessary fire-storm because I couldn't figure out how to get down here quickly without dying!
Well, actually. About that last part.
We're in a bit of a pickle. I tell you what.
"HISSSsSsSsS!" (That means "Climb faster human." In Snake Language)
"_____ ___ ____!" (That means "Shut the hell up! Make more hand-holds! I'm going!" In whatever language Miss Paladin happens to speak)
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"HISSSSSSSSssssSSSsssSSS" (That means "I'm too young and beautiful to die yet." Again, in Snake Language)
"___ ___ ___ __ ____@!&_____________!" (That means... Honestly, I don't have a single clue. The shift-symbols indicate it might have been emphasized more than usual.)
Maybe it's about the cannibalistic ritual sacrifice to the Tiny-Snake-God taking place below us. Things are getting pretty gruesome down there.
Classic Blood for the blood go... No, stop that.
None of that.
Hissss... It's bad though.
Here's hoping I have enough magic, and Miss Paladin has enough upper body-strength, to get us to the top of this tower. Only sixty more slithers to go, one earth-shaped hand-hold at a time.
"GRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOO"
Ah... huh.
Rest in pieces Camp Alcatraz. Megalodon just made landfall.
"___ ___ ___ __ ____@!&_____________!"
"HISSSsSsSsS! HISSSsSsSsS! HISSSsSsSsS!"